Monday, September 5, 2011

Day 187 of 365

Just be still.

I keep having to remind myself to just be still. Stop trying to keep busy, stop trying to always be thinking or doing something. Just sit still and do nothing. Enjoy the quiet.

Over these past few months at home before summer vacation, I had been getting pretty good at it. I had the entire day to myself. Me, myself, and I (and some days the kitty). Time to think, contemplate, plan, and be alone in my thoughts. Time to appreciate the quiet, time to appreciate all I had.

But now as I've started back to work, I'm getting caught up in trying to keep busy. Work days are a given as the entire day is wrapped up in, Part of the draw of this work being part time was it was going to allow me those quiet, peaceful days during the week where I could be alone. I could take my time getting out of bed. I wasn't going to force my body to move earlier than it wanted to (because that always winds up costing me in the end).

Here I am a month into work and I have yet to have one day by myself. Those days I do have off I'm at a doctor's appointment or some other medical-related appointment, or my daughter is here, or my husband is here. Each week I have high hopes for some alone, quiet, just-be-still time.

Yet again this week it won't happen. Today hubby was also home, I work three other days, and the fifth day will be spent at the most interesting of all doctor's offices, the pain clinic.

Good things come about when I'm still and quiet. I just might have to force myself to be still and quiet. I did force myself just a bit today - I sat outside. After taking down clothes from the line, I just sat there. Enjoyed the weather, didn't think about anything.

The stillness did give me a chance to find a picture for the day. An big ugly old spider captured himself a moth and was doing whatever it is spiders do with moths.