Because of my husband's love of barns, every time I sit on my couch I appreciate what I have. If he didn't like me snapping pictures of barns I wouldn't have this sitting over my couch:
This poster-sized picture was taken by me while we were driving in upstate New York. Every time I look at it I know how lucky we are. We have done so many things and seen so many spectacular sights all over this country. Not everyone can say they've seen all fifty states, or even traveled to Canada. This barn picture is always a great reminder of our blessed life.
But hubby has been complaining about the barn picture. It has been on the wall a few years now and he's been asking for a new one. Only when I was putting together the photo book of the Alaska trip did I get motivated to get a new one ordered. My plan was to use a glacier picture but hubby opted for one taken earlier this year in Sisters, Oregon on Day 410.
Even though I didn't get to choose the picture, it too will be a reminder of our wonderful lives. I am so lucky, thankful, and appreciative of the opportunities we've been given.
Who gets to take a cruise ship through a glacial field to see glaciers up close, stand in the middle of a suspension bridge, hand deliver quilts to Alaska, and have gorgeous roses in their garden? And if that wasn't enough, I stumbled across another picture to have enlarged that I took on our trip a few years back to Lake Louise, Canada. How many people get to stay at Chateau Lake Louise and experience a view like the one on the bottom left?
I have a great life.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Day 547
I never got into big purses. I figure if I have a big purse I'll wind up sticking all kinds of stuff in there, so instead I'm a small purse gal. I like it neat and tidy.
With all expenses covered on the cruise ship there was no need to use my purse. But when I went into town (buying that quilt fabric) I took it along. And there is where the problem started. I began shoving the receipts into my purse. Then on our way home from the cruise hubby gave me his wallet to hold on to. (He was having enough difficulty with himself that a wallet was the last thing he wanted.) Me holding that wallet came in handy when I had provide his ID and insurance information when he wound up in the hospital before we even made it to the house.
Then came the going back and forth to the hospital and the eating out once a day. Again, more receipts went into the purse. Ever so often stopping at the grocery store after a long day at the hospital produced even more receipts and coupons that printed out at the register.
Even after finally getting him settled in at home the shoving stuff in the purse didn't stop. Physical therapy appointment cards, doctor lab orders, and a whole bunch of crap has made my purse impossible.
So today I sat down and dumped it out. Here, for all the world to see, is the mess these last two months of my life has created. And it was all crammed into my small purse.
With all expenses covered on the cruise ship there was no need to use my purse. But when I went into town (buying that quilt fabric) I took it along. And there is where the problem started. I began shoving the receipts into my purse. Then on our way home from the cruise hubby gave me his wallet to hold on to. (He was having enough difficulty with himself that a wallet was the last thing he wanted.) Me holding that wallet came in handy when I had provide his ID and insurance information when he wound up in the hospital before we even made it to the house.
Then came the going back and forth to the hospital and the eating out once a day. Again, more receipts went into the purse. Ever so often stopping at the grocery store after a long day at the hospital produced even more receipts and coupons that printed out at the register.
Even after finally getting him settled in at home the shoving stuff in the purse didn't stop. Physical therapy appointment cards, doctor lab orders, and a whole bunch of crap has made my purse impossible.
So today I sat down and dumped it out. Here, for all the world to see, is the mess these last two months of my life has created. And it was all crammed into my small purse.
Most of it went in the trash and now I feel better.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Day 546
I finally found an interesting non-food picture. It's probably good enough to turn into one of those Mystery Monday pictures I used to do.
In fact, I used to do a lot of things. Mystery Monday, Tutorial Tuesday, Win It Wednesday. I used to visit other blogs and quilting websites and post comments and pictures and videos. I used to get lots of readers and visitors because of all that, but I've been ignoring all of those things for quite some time. I'm thinking I need to get back to the tutorials at some point. Maybe. Just not yet.
I just as soon stick with my charity sewing instead. I have some quilts to work on but right now I'm still sewing all those Christmas scraps into strips which will be turned into stockings for Stockings for Soldiers.
But today my picture is the best part of my day. Any ideas?
In fact, I used to do a lot of things. Mystery Monday, Tutorial Tuesday, Win It Wednesday. I used to visit other blogs and quilting websites and post comments and pictures and videos. I used to get lots of readers and visitors because of all that, but I've been ignoring all of those things for quite some time. I'm thinking I need to get back to the tutorials at some point. Maybe. Just not yet.
I just as soon stick with my charity sewing instead. I have some quilts to work on but right now I'm still sewing all those Christmas scraps into strips which will be turned into stockings for Stockings for Soldiers.
But today my picture is the best part of my day. Any ideas?
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Day 545
I was able to get away from the food pictures for a total of one whole day.
Kiddo came home today and took over the dad-sitting duties. I finally, for the first time since he got home from the hospital, got to go to work. For a full day. 9 to 5. In my office, with my files and folders and binders and big screen computer. It was nice getting to see people again and getting back into the swing of things. But it was only temporary. Kiddo goes back to work tomorrow and works every day until next Tuesday.
Hubby had kiddo clean house while I was gone (guess he didn't appreciate the housecleaning I was trying to fit in between taking care of him and working from home). And coming home to a what's for dinner after a full busy day at work stopped me from even wanting to think about dinner. Alejandra's, where hubby could have a couple tacos and very few chips, was where we wound up.
I'm sure he would have loved to have this chip. I wouldn't let that happen - I think it probably would have counted for at least seven or eight.
Kiddo came home today and took over the dad-sitting duties. I finally, for the first time since he got home from the hospital, got to go to work. For a full day. 9 to 5. In my office, with my files and folders and binders and big screen computer. It was nice getting to see people again and getting back into the swing of things. But it was only temporary. Kiddo goes back to work tomorrow and works every day until next Tuesday.
Hubby had kiddo clean house while I was gone (guess he didn't appreciate the housecleaning I was trying to fit in between taking care of him and working from home). And coming home to a what's for dinner after a full busy day at work stopped me from even wanting to think about dinner. Alejandra's, where hubby could have a couple tacos and very few chips, was where we wound up.
I'm sure he would have loved to have this chip. I wouldn't let that happen - I think it probably would have counted for at least seven or eight.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Day 544
I don't know how I found time today to finally get in the sewing room, but I did. When both hubby and kitty were sleeping this afternoon I snuck in and got the machine humming.
On Day 518 when I cut all those stockings for Stockings for Soldiers I had lots of scraps left. Big, little, and everything in between. I'm attempting to use up all those scraps to make even more stockings. So all those scraps were cut down into strips, all those strips sewn together with another strip. Now the next step is figuring out where to go from here. Probably sew strips to strips and then...???
On Day 518 when I cut all those stockings for Stockings for Soldiers I had lots of scraps left. Big, little, and everything in between. I'm attempting to use up all those scraps to make even more stockings. So all those scraps were cut down into strips, all those strips sewn together with another strip. Now the next step is figuring out where to go from here. Probably sew strips to strips and then...???
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Day 543
When my daughter called last night she told me I was putting too much food on the blog. She's right, but I just can't get out of that rut. Can't get myself to the sewing room to start (or finish) any projects, can't even step foot into the rose garden to snap some blooms.
Right now life is about just getting by. Getting the proper meals cooked, getting the dude fed, cleaning up. Keeping up with the house, delivering every thing he needs, keeping on top of multiple medications and multiple blood pressure readings each day. Going to therapy, going to work for a few minutes while he's at therapy, getting work done from home. The merry-go-round just keeps going. But it's better than when he was in the hospital. At least my home base is my actual home.
So kiddo, I will work on finding some non-food pictures. But for today I have to go with this one. I was digging red potatoes and picking tomatoes for my mom and for folks at work (hubby can't have either so we might as well share) and came across this red tater who must have thought he had a different purpose in life. And yep, that's all one potato sitting next to the regular-sized potato.
Right now life is about just getting by. Getting the proper meals cooked, getting the dude fed, cleaning up. Keeping up with the house, delivering every thing he needs, keeping on top of multiple medications and multiple blood pressure readings each day. Going to therapy, going to work for a few minutes while he's at therapy, getting work done from home. The merry-go-round just keeps going. But it's better than when he was in the hospital. At least my home base is my actual home.
So kiddo, I will work on finding some non-food pictures. But for today I have to go with this one. I was digging red potatoes and picking tomatoes for my mom and for folks at work (hubby can't have either so we might as well share) and came across this red tater who must have thought he had a different purpose in life. And yep, that's all one potato sitting next to the regular-sized potato.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Day 542
I get lots of questions about how hubby is doing, so here's the scoop.
Not much has changed. He's weak, he's tired, he's using a cane. His blood pressure is running very low and his heart rate is running high. He spends most of his day in bed, but does get out for physical therapy three times a week. I realized how weak he is when I bought him an ice cream cone yesterday. Just holding up his arm long enough to eat the cone made him shake. A lot. He had to prop his elbow to help support the arm (and the cone). He's got a long way to go.
His hunger gets away from him and I find him going over his restrictive diet in all three categories - potassium, protein, and sodium. He's probably going over in the sugar department, too. I made another batch of cookies today.
This time it was gingersnaps. And this time I bagged them up and put them in the freezer. Maybe out of sight, out of mind will keep him (and me) from dipping into them so much.
Not much has changed. He's weak, he's tired, he's using a cane. His blood pressure is running very low and his heart rate is running high. He spends most of his day in bed, but does get out for physical therapy three times a week. I realized how weak he is when I bought him an ice cream cone yesterday. Just holding up his arm long enough to eat the cone made him shake. A lot. He had to prop his elbow to help support the arm (and the cone). He's got a long way to go.
His hunger gets away from him and I find him going over his restrictive diet in all three categories - potassium, protein, and sodium. He's probably going over in the sugar department, too. I made another batch of cookies today.
This time it was gingersnaps. And this time I bagged them up and put them in the freezer. Maybe out of sight, out of mind will keep him (and me) from dipping into them so much.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Day 541
Of the pictures I took today, I can't decide which is the most interesting.
It might be the one I took on our way back from physical therapy when the UPS truck was parked in front of the USPS.
It might be the one I took on our way back from physical therapy when the UPS truck was parked in front of the USPS.
It could be the picture I took of the friendly carrots I found while cleaning out my vegetable drawer.
Or it could be the one I took after having shut myself in the den for a couple hours doing school work. When I left the den, the house was as quiet as could be. And guess who was taking a nap on the edge the couch? (Hint: It wasn't hubby - he was sleeping in the bedroom.)
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Day 540
It seems so counter intuitive that someone who has been as sick as my husband is being limited on good, healthy foods. To protect and strengthen his kidneys he has a pretty restrictive diet - particularly restrictive on the healthy foods.
When he gets up in the middle of the night to eat I have to keep him away from the cantaloupe and tell him to stay out of the carrots, but I have to let him have cookies. Today's batch was homemade chocolate chip/butterscotch chip.
Apologies for all the food pictures over these last few weeks...food seems to be consuming our lives right now.
When he gets up in the middle of the night to eat I have to keep him away from the cantaloupe and tell him to stay out of the carrots, but I have to let him have cookies. Today's batch was homemade chocolate chip/butterscotch chip.
Apologies for all the food pictures over these last few weeks...food seems to be consuming our lives right now.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Day 539
In October last year, on Day 218, I posted this picture of kale from our garden.
On that day I talked about happiness. And I lamented: But being happy when my husband wants me to eat some freshly picked-from-the-garden kale? I'm trying to be happy on that one, but I'm not sure I can get there.
Obviously my ideas about kale have changed. As I was picking kale this morning I kept talking to myself about how good the kale looked. Even when I brought it in, I kept talking about how good it was. Go figure! Sure is gonna be tasty in my juice tomorrow morning.
On that day I talked about happiness. And I lamented: But being happy when my husband wants me to eat some freshly picked-from-the-garden kale? I'm trying to be happy on that one, but I'm not sure I can get there.
Obviously my ideas about kale have changed. As I was picking kale this morning I kept talking to myself about how good the kale looked. Even when I brought it in, I kept talking about how good it was. Go figure! Sure is gonna be tasty in my juice tomorrow morning.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Day 538
Lots of things came out of the kitchen of Debz Diner (thanks for the name, Lisa!) but the prettiest was a fruit salad.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Day 537
Not enough choices.
That's the complaint I've already received from my husband in regards to my cooking. He seems to think he is still a hospital patient and should be able to pick from several choices on a menu.
I thought I was doing pretty well in the choice department. In the past few days for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks he's had:
Brown rice tossed with carrots, peas, celery, onions and peppers from the garden, a bit of turkey bacon, some chicken, and a scrambled egg. Having not used brown rice before there's only one thing to say. Yum.
That's the complaint I've already received from my husband in regards to my cooking. He seems to think he is still a hospital patient and should be able to pick from several choices on a menu.
I thought I was doing pretty well in the choice department. In the past few days for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks he's had:
- English muffins
- Cereal
- Oatmeal
- Yogurt
- Scrambled egg
- Veggie breakfast sausage
- Toast
- A large green salad
- Chicken tacos
- A tuna salad
- Roasted chicken
- Grilled tuna fish sandwich
- Chicken fried rice
- Cantaloupe
- Cottage cheese
- Jello with fruit
- Orange sherbet
- Chocolate/strawberry/vanilla swirl ice cream cups
- Grapes
- Blueberries
- Applesauce
- Fruit cocktail
- Grape juice
- 7up
- Mio flavored water
- Crystal Light
Brown rice tossed with carrots, peas, celery, onions and peppers from the garden, a bit of turkey bacon, some chicken, and a scrambled egg. Having not used brown rice before there's only one thing to say. Yum.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Day 536
I've had several squirrel stories to tell on this blog. There was one squirrel who was looking at me all friendly-like through the window, the one who appeared ready to attack me like the one in the movie Christmas Vacation, and the one who planted a walnut tree in our herb garden.
This one appears ready to play hide-and-go-seek with me. Except he cheats - just look at him peeking out from behind the branch and not even completely covering his eyes.
This one appears ready to play hide-and-go-seek with me. Except he cheats - just look at him peeking out from behind the branch and not even completely covering his eyes.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Day 535
I don't usually do much in terms of gross, icky, I-really-didn't-want-to-see-that kinds of pictures.
Today I couldn't resist. When picking veggies from the garden I found something on my zucchini plant I didn't want to get near. Lots of somethings.
Bugs. Beetles. Hundreds of them. This picture shows just one little section of one leaf. Multiple this by 10 or so more patches on the rest of the plant and we now have an invasion.
Today I couldn't resist. When picking veggies from the garden I found something on my zucchini plant I didn't want to get near. Lots of somethings.
Bugs. Beetles. Hundreds of them. This picture shows just one little section of one leaf. Multiple this by 10 or so more patches on the rest of the plant and we now have an invasion.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Day 534
I shouldn't have been surprised when I heard noises in the kitchen at 2 AM.
With hubby spending the last month on a calorie controlled low sodium, low protein, low potassium diet and then being on steroids for the last few weeks, he's hungry guy. I just didn't expect him to get out of bed and get to the kitchen without me waking up. But it made me realize I was going to need to start hiding food.
Now that's he's home he still has to stick with the low sodium-protein-potassium diet. Those foods he loves - tomatoes, potatoes, kale, cantaloupe, nuts, red meats - are all on his only a tiny bit list. So the cantaloupe I cut up is hiding in the back of the refrigerator where he can't see it. I won't be keeping any kale in the fridge but instead will pick it just before I put it in my juice. Nuts will be sent to the basement (a place way off limits for him right now). No red meats are in the house. I put all the tomatoes I had in the house into a salsa knowing he wouldn't just grab it and start eating it plain. (Although the tortilla chips I do have are shoved up on top of the fridge.) And I've hidden the granola bars in a bag in the den.
I've got my notebook right beside me tracking his every morsel and the corresponding potassium, sodium, and protein numbers. It's a bit tricky because if something is okay on the protein list it usually isn't okay on the potassium list and if it's okay on the potassium list it might not be on the sodium list. Lots of cross checking has to happen before he gets a meal.
For our lunch today I made homemade chicken tacos. Corn tortillas, plain chicken, finely shredded cheese, romaine lettuce, jalapeno peppers, onions, and a bit of salsa. To keep within his required numbers portions were small but sure were tasty. Maybe even better than those I had for my solo anniversary dinner at Alejandras on Day 514.
With hubby spending the last month on a calorie controlled low sodium, low protein, low potassium diet and then being on steroids for the last few weeks, he's hungry guy. I just didn't expect him to get out of bed and get to the kitchen without me waking up. But it made me realize I was going to need to start hiding food.
Now that's he's home he still has to stick with the low sodium-protein-potassium diet. Those foods he loves - tomatoes, potatoes, kale, cantaloupe, nuts, red meats - are all on his only a tiny bit list. So the cantaloupe I cut up is hiding in the back of the refrigerator where he can't see it. I won't be keeping any kale in the fridge but instead will pick it just before I put it in my juice. Nuts will be sent to the basement (a place way off limits for him right now). No red meats are in the house. I put all the tomatoes I had in the house into a salsa knowing he wouldn't just grab it and start eating it plain. (Although the tortilla chips I do have are shoved up on top of the fridge.) And I've hidden the granola bars in a bag in the den.
I've got my notebook right beside me tracking his every morsel and the corresponding potassium, sodium, and protein numbers. It's a bit tricky because if something is okay on the protein list it usually isn't okay on the potassium list and if it's okay on the potassium list it might not be on the sodium list. Lots of cross checking has to happen before he gets a meal.
For our lunch today I made homemade chicken tacos. Corn tortillas, plain chicken, finely shredded cheese, romaine lettuce, jalapeno peppers, onions, and a bit of salsa. To keep within his required numbers portions were small but sure were tasty. Maybe even better than those I had for my solo anniversary dinner at Alejandras on Day 514.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Day 533
Between me, my daughter, her boyfriend, and whoever it was that hauled off the broken exercise bike, that to-do list from Day 527 is being checked off like crazy.
I still need to go through my mail and wash and chop my vegetables. But the weeds have been pulled, the roses pruned. The irrigation pump filter cleaned, the daisies dug up and my car has been serviced. One more thing has been finished up, too.
The hospital visits.
Hubby's kidneys are getting better and his muscles are getting stronger, so after one full month of sleeping in the hospital, one full month of tests and diagnosis, of highs and lows, of more medications than anyone should have to take, hubby came home today. We'll begin a new chapter with outpatient therapy visits and 'round the clock care being provided by me. (Our insurance plan doesn't provide for daily living activities or long-term care.)
Of all days for a hospital bill to arrive. We've been receiving doctor bills and radiology bills and surgeon bills and all other kinds of ancillary bills, but the bill for the first week in the hospital arrived today.
One week, $30,620.68. Quite interesting to see the different amounts detailed. If you don't think prescription drugs drive up the cost of medical care in this country, take a look at the "pharmacy", "other pharmacy", and "drugs" lines. The medication-related costs exceeded the cost of the room itself.
Thank goodness for insurance.
I still need to go through my mail and wash and chop my vegetables. But the weeds have been pulled, the roses pruned. The irrigation pump filter cleaned, the daisies dug up and my car has been serviced. One more thing has been finished up, too.
The hospital visits.
Hubby's kidneys are getting better and his muscles are getting stronger, so after one full month of sleeping in the hospital, one full month of tests and diagnosis, of highs and lows, of more medications than anyone should have to take, hubby came home today. We'll begin a new chapter with outpatient therapy visits and 'round the clock care being provided by me. (Our insurance plan doesn't provide for daily living activities or long-term care.)
Of all days for a hospital bill to arrive. We've been receiving doctor bills and radiology bills and surgeon bills and all other kinds of ancillary bills, but the bill for the first week in the hospital arrived today.
One week, $30,620.68. Quite interesting to see the different amounts detailed. If you don't think prescription drugs drive up the cost of medical care in this country, take a look at the "pharmacy", "other pharmacy", and "drugs" lines. The medication-related costs exceeded the cost of the room itself.
Thank goodness for insurance.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Day 532
I tried to be patient at the hospital today.
There was a great picture opportunity at eye level out the window of hubby's room. I waited and waited, trying to catch the osprey in flight. Unfortunately it had no interest in moving anywhere and continued to hide behind the power pole.
There was a great picture opportunity at eye level out the window of hubby's room. I waited and waited, trying to catch the osprey in flight. Unfortunately it had no interest in moving anywhere and continued to hide behind the power pole.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Day 531
When I got home from work a couple different words came out of my mouth.
The first one was Yay! The wildflower-turned-perennial garden looks great.
The next word was A-MAZ-ING! The straw we used to mulch the strawberries keeps springing up wheat. I hadn't been behind the shed since we came back from vacation (hmm...wonder why?) so I didn't realize it was so bad. Kiddo and kiddo's boyfriend tackled it today. A-MAZ-ING is all I have to say about the before and after pictures they took.
The first one was Yay! The wildflower-turned-perennial garden looks great.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Day 530
Gotta love those kids. My one kid, throw in her boyfriend, and you've got a work crew tackling my to-do list.
On Day 508 my wildflower-turned-perennial garden looked like this:
On Day 508 my wildflower-turned-perennial garden looked like this:
Since then, all the daisies have died off leaving ugly desperately-in-need-of-deadheading plants. That, plus the realization I may not have anyone to help me in the gardens ever again led me to the decision to dig up all but my favorite flowers.
After a long day at work today I came home to find that progress had been made.
It may be empty looking but it's sure looking good to me. Can't wait to see what I find tomorrow when I get home!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Day 529
When we watched (part of) Top Gun on hubby's birthday I was reminded of some of the memorable lines.
That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous.
I feel the need...the need for speed!
Is this your idea of fun?
Crashed and burned, huh, Mav?
After leaving the hospital this afternoon, getting a hair cut and some groceries, and filling the car up with gas (check that one off my list!) I headed home and went to take a little rest. When I woke up - after 6 PM - it was apparent that crashed and burned described me.
But I wasn't the only one. Take a peek at who had herself scrunched up next to hubby's pillow.
That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous.
I feel the need...the need for speed!
Is this your idea of fun?
Crashed and burned, huh, Mav?
After leaving the hospital this afternoon, getting a hair cut and some groceries, and filling the car up with gas (check that one off my list!) I headed home and went to take a little rest. When I woke up - after 6 PM - it was apparent that crashed and burned described me.
But I wasn't the only one. Take a peek at who had herself scrunched up next to hubby's pillow.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Day 528
I knew that when his appetite started coming back it was probably the steroids. Now that he's been on them a couple weeks now I know for sure.
He's a hungry guy. Most of today's conversations seemed to revolve around food - how he's starving right after he eats, what food he'd like to have and even a specific list of foods to ask the dietician about. Then when it came time for him to go to dinner and me to leave for a bit (only patients and nurses are allowed in the dining room) I asked for his input on where I should go. He named off restaurant after restaurant. I followed one of his suggestions. The Ram.
Good choice. Not only did they have garlic fries but they had something called "ice cream cupcakes". Oh my! As tasty as everything was, I'm hoping I'm getting close to the end of the What I Ate When I Left the Hospital book.
He's a hungry guy. Most of today's conversations seemed to revolve around food - how he's starving right after he eats, what food he'd like to have and even a specific list of foods to ask the dietician about. Then when it came time for him to go to dinner and me to leave for a bit (only patients and nurses are allowed in the dining room) I asked for his input on where I should go. He named off restaurant after restaurant. I followed one of his suggestions. The Ram.
Good choice. Not only did they have garlic fries but they had something called "ice cream cupcakes". Oh my! As tasty as everything was, I'm hoping I'm getting close to the end of the What I Ate When I Left the Hospital book.
I did put the car issue to rest. A morning spent at the dealership was time well spent. An oil change didn't find the rattling, but when they removed the tires for rotation they discovered a large rock in my brakes. Problem solved. If I hadn't solved it myself Gini had offered to pick me up - even pick up my car - to help me out. Thanks, Gini!
Friday, August 10, 2012
Day 527
If you need anything...
I hear that a lot these days. I certainly appreciate the offer, but how do you ask for help when you're accustomed to doing everything yourself? How do take help from other people you've never offered help to yourself?
How do I ask for stupid stuff? Things like needing someone to:
How do I ask for help with those things? I don't. I say thanks for the offer and leave it at that. For a person who never asks for help maybe it's just easier to live with a messy house, messy gardens, barely-working sprinklers, a broken exercise bike, and intermittent juicing.
It was almost easier to live without a picture today, too. Of all the days I've taken pictures, all 526, today I believe was the hardest. Today was the day I couldn't find anything. In desperation I snapped a picture of a plant the high school staff gave my husband when he first wound up in the hospital. Both of us may not be flourishing right now but the plant is, some three weeks later.
I hear that a lot these days. I certainly appreciate the offer, but how do you ask for help when you're accustomed to doing everything yourself? How do take help from other people you've never offered help to yourself?
How do I ask for stupid stuff? Things like needing someone to:
- carry off the broken exercise bike sitting out at the trash can.
- spray the weeds in the rose garden and the vegetable garden and the shade garden and in front of the house and behind the back fence.
- dig potatoes and pick tomatoes - and keep plenty of them for yourself.
- prune the roses - and take as many bouquets as you want. I'll even give you some vases for them.
- go through my mail. I get home and stack it in a pile(s). Sometimes I sort it, sometimes I don't. Either way I'm tired of catalogs, magazines, and credit card offers cluttering my space.
- take my car to get serviced. A terrible rattle appears to be coming from under the car and the maintenance required light that came on this week and won't go off is pressing me to take action. That is, whenever I can get there during business hours.
- wash and chop vegetables for me. I'm trying hard to keep juicing, but the washing and chopping cuts into either hospital time or getting-to-work time.
- clean out the irrigation pump filter. It's in a case in the ground, too low and screwed on too tight for me to clean it out. Sprinkler pressure is down and things aren't getting watered properly.
- dig up my daisies. They spread too much, they take too much deadheading, and they get too tall. They've taken over practically all my wildflower-turned-perennnial garden and I'm getting tired of having to stare at the ugly mess every time I pull into the driveway.
- pump my gas. In addition to driving back and forth to work I'm driving almost 80 miles roundtrip to the hospital several times a week and am using up gas like crazy.
How do I ask for help with those things? I don't. I say thanks for the offer and leave it at that. For a person who never asks for help maybe it's just easier to live with a messy house, messy gardens, barely-working sprinklers, a broken exercise bike, and intermittent juicing.
It was almost easier to live without a picture today, too. Of all the days I've taken pictures, all 526, today I believe was the hardest. Today was the day I couldn't find anything. In desperation I snapped a picture of a plant the high school staff gave my husband when he first wound up in the hospital. Both of us may not be flourishing right now but the plant is, some three weeks later.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Day 526
When one is beyond tired because of upheaval in her normal routine, what does one do? Go to work.
What does that person do when she gets home from work? Take a much needed nap.
What should that person do when she gets up from her nap?
Use her garden cucumbers to make dill pickles, of course.
What does that person do when she gets home from work? Take a much needed nap.
What should that person do when she gets up from her nap?
Use her garden cucumbers to make dill pickles, of course.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Day 525
The wall made an appearance today and I hit it.
After three weeks of hospital back and forths, I hit the wall today. I woke up stiff, in pain, found it difficult to move, and had absolutely no energy. It was like a flashback to my bad arthritis days. I had been feeling pretty good for a while now, but that wall hit me hard today. And it wasn't a good day for it to happen.
Today was hubby's birthday. We made sure the nurses knew ahead of time so they could make him feel special until we arrived. They did. Even embarrassed him a bit by singing Happy Birthday to him in the dining room during lunch time. Daughter and I stayed home for a little while to finish his special cake. Because he is on a renal failure diet (low salt, low potassium, low protein) we had to make a cake without eggs. So I altered a recipe and made a chocolate zucchini cake with no eggs and no oil.
Cake + sign for his room + laptop + DVD was going to equal a fun night for him.
But things changed a bit. When we arrived at the hospital he wasn't feeling well and had even skipped his physical therapy. An extremely low blood pressure but an extremely high pulse rate was alarming to nurses and doctors. Our celebration was delayed by an EKG. Thank goodness no abnormalities appeared (other than a fast heart rate).
Dehydration.
All the medications to get the excess fluid out his system worked a little too well. The birthday celebration was delayed even more as four (or was it five?) different nurses tried to start an IV on a man who was too dehydrated for one to take. An even longer delay as they tried different things - they even wrapped his arm in warm blankets for a while to try and plump up the veins. The things I never knew!
Since the hospital provided a pudding sundae with his dinner we sang Happy Birthday and let him blow out the candle.
Later, once the IV was going strong, we ate just a bit of the zucchini cake (sent the rest to my mom) and watched some of the movie. Too long of a day for all of us.
At least daughter still had some energy to take some sunset pictures on the way home.
After three weeks of hospital back and forths, I hit the wall today. I woke up stiff, in pain, found it difficult to move, and had absolutely no energy. It was like a flashback to my bad arthritis days. I had been feeling pretty good for a while now, but that wall hit me hard today. And it wasn't a good day for it to happen.
Today was hubby's birthday. We made sure the nurses knew ahead of time so they could make him feel special until we arrived. They did. Even embarrassed him a bit by singing Happy Birthday to him in the dining room during lunch time. Daughter and I stayed home for a little while to finish his special cake. Because he is on a renal failure diet (low salt, low potassium, low protein) we had to make a cake without eggs. So I altered a recipe and made a chocolate zucchini cake with no eggs and no oil.
Cake + sign for his room + laptop + DVD was going to equal a fun night for him.
But things changed a bit. When we arrived at the hospital he wasn't feeling well and had even skipped his physical therapy. An extremely low blood pressure but an extremely high pulse rate was alarming to nurses and doctors. Our celebration was delayed by an EKG. Thank goodness no abnormalities appeared (other than a fast heart rate).
Dehydration.
All the medications to get the excess fluid out his system worked a little too well. The birthday celebration was delayed even more as four (or was it five?) different nurses tried to start an IV on a man who was too dehydrated for one to take. An even longer delay as they tried different things - they even wrapped his arm in warm blankets for a while to try and plump up the veins. The things I never knew!
Since the hospital provided a pudding sundae with his dinner we sang Happy Birthday and let him blow out the candle.
Later, once the IV was going strong, we ate just a bit of the zucchini cake (sent the rest to my mom) and watched some of the movie. Too long of a day for all of us.
At least daughter still had some energy to take some sunset pictures on the way home.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Day 524
With a day's horoscope reading like that, I knew I was in for it.
Today was my first day back at work. A day I had to start addressing things I had put off. And a new discovery - unauthorized charges on my school credit card when hubby first got in the hospital. We have great folks at the district office helping resolve the issue.
Today was the day daughter came home to help out. She spent most of her time at her dad's school prepping his classroom for the school year. The school year he won't be starting, but will hopefully be finishing.
Today was the day we met with the kidney specialist. Kidneys are responding to treatment but with muscles not receiving protein for some time, a long road to recovery is ahead.
And a hot day. Getting in my car after the nephrologist visit confirmed just how hot it was. Once I got moving down the road, it did cool down to 107.
But an even more interesting picture was sent to me by someone I work with. She has some of the same health issues as I do but does a much better job of getting up and moving around than I do. She captured such a nice clear picture down by her pond.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Day 523
I learned a lesson today about what is big stuff and what is small stuff that you shouldn't sweat. It happened because someone else got a parking ticket.
A gal from work who lives down the road from the hospital picked me up and we went to lunch together. I'm not one who goes into downtown Boise especially during lunchtime, so I was thankful when she agreed to drive. This gal, an amazing parallel parker, found us a great spot right in front of the lunch place. Unfortunately when we finished our lunch and returned to the car, she had a parking ticket on her window. While entering the restaurant neither of us noticed there was a parking meter sitting at the rear of the vehicle.
If I had gotten a parking ticket today I probably would have been in tears. (Partially because I'm barely holding everything together as it is.) But she was very relaxed. It wasn't a biggie to her. It was little stuff.
After she dropped me off I walked back into the hospital and started thinking. What is big stuff?
Big stuff is a husband who:
has kidney failure.
hasn't slept in his own bed since the month of June.
had so much edema that he's lost 35 pounds in the past three weeks.
has little muscle mass left.
needs assistance to get up, sit up, stand up, or move.
spends most of his time in a wheelchair or hospital bed.
has gone from extremely high blood pressure to extremely low blood pressure.
will celebrate his birthday this week. In the hospital.
won't return to work for 3-6 months.
Big stuff?
A husband who today, for the first time in almost a month, was able to get tennis shoes to fit on his feet.
A husband who today, during therapy and with the help of the walker and additional person, went up one step and came down that one step. Without taking a break.
Little steps, but big stuff. Thanks to you-who-shall-remain-nameless for the lesson on big stuff versus little stuff. I needed it.
And I sure needed that lunch. Unbelievably delicious pepperoni and chive pizza.
A gal from work who lives down the road from the hospital picked me up and we went to lunch together. I'm not one who goes into downtown Boise especially during lunchtime, so I was thankful when she agreed to drive. This gal, an amazing parallel parker, found us a great spot right in front of the lunch place. Unfortunately when we finished our lunch and returned to the car, she had a parking ticket on her window. While entering the restaurant neither of us noticed there was a parking meter sitting at the rear of the vehicle.
If I had gotten a parking ticket today I probably would have been in tears. (Partially because I'm barely holding everything together as it is.) But she was very relaxed. It wasn't a biggie to her. It was little stuff.
After she dropped me off I walked back into the hospital and started thinking. What is big stuff?
Big stuff is a husband who:
has kidney failure.
hasn't slept in his own bed since the month of June.
had so much edema that he's lost 35 pounds in the past three weeks.
has little muscle mass left.
needs assistance to get up, sit up, stand up, or move.
spends most of his time in a wheelchair or hospital bed.
has gone from extremely high blood pressure to extremely low blood pressure.
will celebrate his birthday this week. In the hospital.
won't return to work for 3-6 months.
Big stuff?
A husband who today, for the first time in almost a month, was able to get tennis shoes to fit on his feet.
A husband who today, during therapy and with the help of the walker and additional person, went up one step and came down that one step. Without taking a break.
Little steps, but big stuff. Thanks to you-who-shall-remain-nameless for the lesson on big stuff versus little stuff. I needed it.
And I sure needed that lunch. Unbelievably delicious pepperoni and chive pizza.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Day 522
I can't decide which is the tastiest thing I made with the veggies from the garden. Salsa or juice?
Granted the juice isn't the prettiest with the addition of the beet greens, but doggone it's tasty.
Granted the juice isn't the prettiest with the addition of the beet greens, but doggone it's tasty.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Day 521
No more complaining about a lackluster harvest from the garden.
Just today I got:
Just today I got:
- Swiss chard
- Kale
- Beets
- Carrots
- Red potatoes
- Tomatoes - slicing, cherry, Roma
- Cucumbers
- Zucchini
- Peppers - bell, yellow, hot
- Onions
- Rosemary
- Parsley
Friday, August 3, 2012
Day 520
When I'm at the hospital I watch hubby's physical therapy. It's nerve-wracking, especially today. Since we have five steps to get into our house they worked at getting him to use a walker to get up steps.
One step. With two people helping lift him as he held the walker, he struggled to make it up one step. One step and then he had to sit down and take a break. But even more nerve-wracking was watching them get him down the step. Yesterday when they had him try to go down they wound up having to put him back in the wheelchair and bring him down.
Today he did it. With two people holding onto him tightly and him holding tightly onto the walker he made it down. As scary as it was for me to watch, I'm sure it was even more scary for him.
Maybe the flowers in his room will brighten things up. His school district send a gorgeous bouquet his way. I'm partial to the sunflowers myself.
One step. With two people helping lift him as he held the walker, he struggled to make it up one step. One step and then he had to sit down and take a break. But even more nerve-wracking was watching them get him down the step. Yesterday when they had him try to go down they wound up having to put him back in the wheelchair and bring him down.
Today he did it. With two people holding onto him tightly and him holding tightly onto the walker he made it down. As scary as it was for me to watch, I'm sure it was even more scary for him.
Maybe the flowers in his room will brighten things up. His school district send a gorgeous bouquet his way. I'm partial to the sunflowers myself.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Day 519
With hubby being cared for in the hospital I know this is probably the
easiest part of the journey. When he comes home and I start back to school
it'll probably be the hardest. But he's not coming home yet.
The biopsy revealed that an anti-inflammatory medicine a doctor prescribed a while back caused the kidney failure. He's on a multitude of medications and now that they've added steroids to the mix his kidneys are showing some improvement. He's lost close to 30 pounds of excess fluid but still has more to go. They are working on him using a walker, but he is still really weak. The doctors and therapists had a big pow-wow today to review his case and make a decision about discharge. At least two more weeks.
What will life be like for him when he does get home? They'll be no cleaning, cooking, gardening, taking out trash. Nothing. He'll need help bathing, dressing, toileting, getting out of bed and up from a chair, will need a walker, and may need a home health aide. And when does he get to go back to work? 3-6 months is their best estimate. Looks like we're in it for the long haul.
Guess at least I get to go out for a meal each day. Blimpie's French Dip sandwich for lunch today. Yum, yum.
The biopsy revealed that an anti-inflammatory medicine a doctor prescribed a while back caused the kidney failure. He's on a multitude of medications and now that they've added steroids to the mix his kidneys are showing some improvement. He's lost close to 30 pounds of excess fluid but still has more to go. They are working on him using a walker, but he is still really weak. The doctors and therapists had a big pow-wow today to review his case and make a decision about discharge. At least two more weeks.
What will life be like for him when he does get home? They'll be no cleaning, cooking, gardening, taking out trash. Nothing. He'll need help bathing, dressing, toileting, getting out of bed and up from a chair, will need a walker, and may need a home health aide. And when does he get to go back to work? 3-6 months is their best estimate. Looks like we're in it for the long haul.
Guess at least I get to go out for a meal each day. Blimpie's French Dip sandwich for lunch today. Yum, yum.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Day 518
Nowadays I think a lot about the emergency run-through they do on airplanes. Particularly the whole secure your own mask before helping others.
Now that we're on Day 14 in the hospital I've tried to get myself into a routine where I'm securing my own mask. Originally I was always at the hospital but that has changed. I'm visiting the hospital two consecutive days and spending the night with my mom and then I go home for one day. Two on, one off.
Even with being home a day, it isn't enough to keep up with things. Unfortunately on my off day I don't have energy to do much of anything other than take it easy. With summer in full swing and gardens and lawns needing attention I'm drowning. I had to absolutely force myself to do something today. It wasn't on my to-do list but I made myself get back into the sewing room. I mindlessly cut out stockings for Stockings for Soldiers.
My hands and arms may be sore tomorrow, but I cut out enough to make 99 stockings.
Now that we're on Day 14 in the hospital I've tried to get myself into a routine where I'm securing my own mask. Originally I was always at the hospital but that has changed. I'm visiting the hospital two consecutive days and spending the night with my mom and then I go home for one day. Two on, one off.
Even with being home a day, it isn't enough to keep up with things. Unfortunately on my off day I don't have energy to do much of anything other than take it easy. With summer in full swing and gardens and lawns needing attention I'm drowning. I had to absolutely force myself to do something today. It wasn't on my to-do list but I made myself get back into the sewing room. I mindlessly cut out stockings for Stockings for Soldiers.
My hands and arms may be sore tomorrow, but I cut out enough to make 99 stockings.
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