Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Day 168 of 365

I finally broke it.

Yesterday I got home after a long day's work after 6:00. Then, I
  • Posted my tutorial and picture of the pocket tissue cover.
  • Had dinner.
  • Hemmed my husband's pants.
  • Made sugar cookies.
  • Guided my daughter in picking corn and digging potatoes.
  • Decorated sugar cookies.
  • Made salsa.
Then tonight I got home after a long day's work after 6:30 and I:
  • Had dinner.
  • Tied my husband's tie for tomorrow.
  • Finished up making salsa.
  • Posted my blog.
  • Tried on clothes my mom gave to me.
  • Packed for my overnight trip to my daughter's tomorrow night.
  • Paid bills.

    Something was missing from both those days.

    After 120 consecutive days I broke my exercise streak. For two days in a row, I have not ridden my exercise bike.

    It was a conscious decision. A hard decision.

    I could have (maybe) got myself downstairs and on the exercise bike for one short mile like I've been doing this last week or so, but didn't. I couldn't face another day of doing a half-hearted attempt at keeping the streak going.

    I knew I could not dedicate the energy/stamina/focus to bike as long as I should. On these work days, I've been barely squeezing in a mile. I've just been going through the motions.

    If I'm exercising, I need to put my all into it. And I'm not.

    I'm not giving up exercising all together, but I am giving it up right now, temporarily. Hopefully no more than just this week. For quite some time before I started back to work, I was biking anywhere between 3-5 miles a day. I need to again find the dedication to ride like before.

    But I'm exhausted - both mentally and physically. If you've been on this journey with me, you know I've been exhausted like this before. I feel like I can't catch a desperately needed break. I know in a few short weeks my schedule will be more manageable, so I just need to hold on.

    I'm grasping with every last bit of energy I have.

    I did do a good deed, though. The sugar cookies I made yesterday were for the school secretary, who shared some onions (hence the new batch of salsa) and carrots from her garden with us. So I returned the favor with some tomatoes from our garden and some carrots from my oven.