Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Day 160 of 365

"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."

I read the quote not too long ago and it took a while for it to sink in.

But it makes so much sense. So many of us (i.e. me) worry about things which will never happen. The thoughts of what might go wrong usually are, by far, not even close to what actually happens.

I've been living so much day to day over this past year and a half or so. But in regards to returning to school/work activities, I started thinking ahead. (I should have known better.) I was so dreading being gone last week. With work meetings and a doctor's appointment, I knew my days were going to be long and busy. Coming off more than a year where "work" wasn't part of my thought process or vocabulary, I was worried about how I was going to manage it all.

I was a bit worried about going to those meetings. Getting up early two days in a row. (When the heck was the last time that happened?) Attending meetings with people around the state I didn't know. Talking about things I wasn't "up" on. Having long days - days longer than I've had since I-don't-know-when. I questioned my commitment and ability to get back into the world of work.

But I made it. I got myself up and there, ready to go. I met some folks at the meetings I've had contact with before. I met someone new who works in a neighboring district. My educationese language came right back, my interest in school improvement returned, and my motivation to be a leader in the process returned. (Which was a complete shock to me. I thought I lost my confidence, but - do I dare say - it might be returning here and there?) And now even my office looks ready to go.

"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."

I think I need to stop worrying about my tomorrows and start focusing on my todays.

The today I didn't worry about? My first official day of work (and a long one at that) on campus at my new job.

The highlight of the day? A delicious "tuxedo" chocolate covered strawberries picture and tutorial.