Day 192 of 365

I've been dreading writing my blog for today. I've put it off and put it off and now I have to do it. Why would I be dreading writing so much?

Yet again I did not do what I said I would.

The first thing I heard this morning while attempting to sleep past sunrise had to do with a question about zucchini bread. Zucchini bread I was wanting to cut back on.

My husband was excited he had picked some big zucchini while I was sleeping and wanted to know if I'd make bread today. As clear headed as I was yesterday about giving up the zucchini bread, I was not as clear headed early in the morning. We made zucchini bread. Several hours of baking. Nine loaves. We already have downed almost a loaf. What was I thinking?

And eating too much zucchini bread certainly didn't bode well for the rest of the day. For what did hubby want for dinner with his barbecued hamburger? Homemade onion rings. I've only made them a couple times before, but I made them tonight. Thank goodness they aren't one of my favorite things or I would have probably eaten way too many of those, too.

Lots of zucchini bread, had to finish up the salsa (with chips) and a couple greasy onion rings didn't lend itself to exercising. So I didn't.

Crappy food, no exercise. Why do I not care enough about myself to make the changes I need?

I'm not the only one eating too much these days. Mr. Spider from Day 187 looks like he is about to explode. Bet that moth wasn't the only thing that he's been munching on!

Day 191 of 365

I have my Richard Simmons DVDs close by. I have workout clothes there, too. Except I haven't taken the DVDs out of the plastic wrap yet. (A lot of good they're doing like that.) I do walk every Tuesday morning before work, but have I stuck to the rest of my exercise plan? Nope.

How about those eating habits? I look at all the changes we've made over the years. All the things I/we used to eat too much of:

• Ice Cream. A container never lasted more than a couple days. Now one could last a month or more.
• Potato Chips. Ditto.
• Dessert for dinner every night. Then leftover dessert for breakfast.
• Containers of chocolate candy at work.
• Halloween candy purchased in September, eaten, re-purchased in October, eaten, then re-purchased at Halloween. Then leftovers eaten within a couple days of Halloween. Then after Halloween, more candy bought on clearance eaten. (We now skip Halloween altogether.)
• Cheese. We love Tillamook brand cheese. The best in the world. We could go through a block a week. Now a block lasts us a month.

Despite all our good changes, in the last couple weeks we've picked up bad habits that we need to back away from. We make zucchini bread, we eat the zucchini bread. Although it's packed fulled of fresh zucchini (about two cups per loaf), it's also packed with sugar. The chips and salsa are just as bad. We make fresh, healthy, good-for-you salsa every single week. Of course, fresh salsa requires some delicious, not so good-for-you tortilla chips (and we've been eating plenty of those).

Gotta stop that, gotta get moving on the exercise.

So today is my last day of being lazy with food and exercise.

Today is also my last sunrise picture for a while. I have no intention of getting up early enough to see the sunrise for quite a while. It's been a long week, a dog-tired week, and the weekend is upon us. Yay! And next week my schedule is such I don't have to be there first thing in the morning.

I'll take it, even if I miss an opportunity for a colorful picture.

Day 190 of 365

"I don't think so" became my mantra today. Most of the times I was thinking it, but once in a while it just slipped out of my mouth.

Where else would an I don't think so day start but at the Pain Clinic. Again as I sat there in the waiting room I listened to interesting conversations. The things some people say out loud is quite amazing. I'm sure the large doses of pain medicine in their systems certainly have something to do with it.

Surprisingly, I was looking forward to this visit to the pain clinic. This would be the time I would finally find out what's up with my back. Finally maybe have a plan to get some relief, a plan to move forward. Yes and no. My new MRI results told the story.  Bulging discs in every single vertebrae scanned. Arthritis in every single vertebrae scanned. And a very severe case of arthritis in two vertebrae.

Options? No long term permanent solutions. No surgeries, but also no long term pain relief. Ever. The only hope is management of pain symptoms. Injections for the rest of my life. I don't think so. Pain medication for the rest of my life. I don't think so. Anti-inflammatory medications - used sparingly and not for more than a few months at a time - might temporarily provide some relief. Okay. Except when he handed me the prescription, he cautioned that the use of this drug will cause an increase in the side effects of my methotrexate (the chemotherapy drug I take for the arthritis). I don't think so, but will visit with the rheumatologist first.

I left that mess behind to stop by and pick up my new glasses. I'd been having terrible headaches at school being on the computer all day so a new prescription will fit the bill. I picked up my $320 glasses (that's with insurance), but they were missing the sunglasses piece. Every time I've gotten new glasses for the last 15 years or so, I get the kind that have a magnetic clip-on sunglasses piece. It just so happens the lady helping me pick out glasses a couple weeks back forgot to mention these new ones didn't come with the sunglasses piece. If I want to switch to a pair that does have the magnetic clip-on, I could pay $120 more. I don't think so. But, if I want to get a prescription pair of sunglasses, they'll give me a 50% discount. I don't think so. Or I could pay extra and get transitions, but they won't be as dark as I'm used to. I don't think so. Or I could pay extra and buy a clip-on piece that sort of fits. I don't think so.

I've seen older ladies wear sunglasses that fit over their regular glasses so I went on a search for those. First store, no luck. I found them at the second store. Twenty bucks worth, but if they work I'm willing to pay. I tried two different styles of those big wraparound glasses on. I don't think so became I really don't think so.

Scrap that idea. So I decided to stop and get something to drink for the ride home. In the drive through of Carl's Jr. I was sitting in line, minding my own business, patiently waiting for my turn at the speaker. The gal in the big SUV in front of me wasn't nearly as patient. She started backing up, which made me start backing up. But I guess I didn't back up fast enough because she backed into me. And then she took off. No stopping, no checking, just sped off out of the line. I don't think so! I got her plate number and checked my front bumper. No damage other than a bent license plate.

At that point, getting home was all I wanted to do. I think I just might need a nap.

The best part of the day? Sunrise, of course.

Day 189 of 365

I almost cried last night. Not because I had a bad day, or because someone said something to me, or because I stubbed my toe.

I almost cried last night because I was utterly and totally exhausted. Another late night at work and a day full of meetings. Every time I go to a meeting, I'm carry a big bag of books, files and binders. A heavy bag. And my shoulders and my back have borne the brunt of the pressure.

Then there are the hands. When I started back to work and greatly increased the amount of time I spent on the computer, my hands started swelling up from the arthritis. Now my hands aren't working so well. I've even resorted to putting the tube of toothpaste on the edge of the sink and using the heel of my hand to squeeze. No more squeezing toothpaste tubes in the morning for me.

And my wrists? In worse shape than ever. From loading and unloading books and binders, and typing and typing and typing. And getting the laptop in and out, and filing papers.

I have an appointment at the pain clinic tomorrow, but I'm not holding out hope of any relief there. Unless it's comic relief. (See Day 145 for my experience there last time.) Rheumatologist is in a few weeks and I'm counting on some suggestions for arthritis pain relief. Maybe. I'll even take arthritis pain management instead of relief at this point.

So when I got home last night, hurting beyond belief, exhausted beyond belief, I wanted to cry.

But I didn't. I had a great dinner prepared by my husband, went to bed for a little bit, then got back up to take a shower. Showers always make me feel better. It just didn't make me feel as good as I wished, but it kept my tears away.

Today here I went again, back to a meeting in Boise with my big bag of folders and a laptop to carry to and from the faraway parking lot to the meeting.

Nice sunrise on the drive in, though. A bit of haze in the air made for a pretty picture.

Make a Homemade Bread Basket Liner - Day 188 of 365, Tutorial Tuesday

Sugar cookies, be gone!

I love my sugar cookies. I love decorating them, I love looking at them, I love eating them, and I love giving them away. They are something I can do quick and easy without much thought.

But I'm tired of them right now. I'm not really tired of the cookies, but I'm tired of the internal struggle - like the one that happened on Day 127. I've had better willpower these last few weeks and have given them away before eating them, but still every single time I make them I struggle with keeping them out of my mouth.

The sugar cookie demon has been faced many times these past months:

• St. Patrick's Day (Day 12)
• Easter Eggs (Day 36)
• Peeps (Day 49)
• Flowers (Day 63)
• Ladybugs, Beehives, and Bumblebees (Day 146)
• Carrots (Day 168)
• Corn on the Cob (Day 174)
• Fishbowls (Day 181)

By making them again and again, it's like I want to torture myself. Am I trying to prove I'm strong? Or maybe I'm trying to prove I'm weak? I'm tired of feeling like I'm punishing myself every time I'm around them. I could just make them and eat them and have no guilt about it. But I can't.

So out go the sugar cookie tutorials for a while and back comes a sewing-themed tutorial.

A reversible bread basket liner similar to the one I made on Day 38. Nearly the same pattern, but with different fabric. If you like bread with your dinner, or you're thinking ahead to the holidays like me, it's an quick and easy project to whip up.

Now available as a written pattern in my Etsy shop!

Looking for something else? Check out some of my other kitchen sewing and crafting projects!

Otherwise you can find the step by step how to tutorial for the bread basket liner sewing project here:

Day 187 of 365

Just be still.

I keep having to remind myself to just be still. Stop trying to keep busy, stop trying to always be thinking or doing something. Just sit still and do nothing. Enjoy the quiet.

Over these past few months at home before summer vacation, I had been getting pretty good at it. I had the entire day to myself. Me, myself, and I (and some days the kitty). Time to think, contemplate, plan, and be alone in my thoughts. Time to appreciate the quiet, time to appreciate all I had.

But now as I've started back to work, I'm getting caught up in trying to keep busy. Work days are a given as the entire day is wrapped up in, well...work. Part of the draw of this work being part time was it was going to allow me those quiet, peaceful days during the week where I could be alone. I could take my time getting out of bed. I wasn't going to force my body to move earlier than it wanted to (because that always winds up costing me in the end).

Here I am a month into work and I have yet to have one day by myself. Those days I do have off I'm at a doctor's appointment or some other medical-related appointment, or my daughter is here, or my husband is here. Each week I have high hopes for some alone, quiet, just-be-still time.

Yet again this week it won't happen. Today hubby was also home, I work three other days, and the fifth day will be spent at the most interesting of all doctor's offices, the pain clinic.

Good things come about when I'm still and quiet. I just might have to force myself to be still and quiet. I did force myself just a bit today - I sat outside. After taking down clothes from the line, I just sat there. Enjoyed the weather, didn't think about anything.

The stillness did give me a chance to find a picture for the day. An big ugly old spider captured himself a moth and was doing whatever it is spiders do with moths.

Day 186 of 365

It appears I'm not the only one in my family with Christmas on my mind. Just a couple days ago when my mom and daughter were here there was a discussion of Christmas gifts for my daughter. Then I wrote about Christmas crafts here yesterday, and just today my husband told me about something he wanted on his Christmas Eve list.

We have a Christmas Eve tradition of opening one present early, with the rest being opened on Christmas Day. Our tradition started because of a Batman Helicopter. 

Growing up, my husband's family let kids open one gift on Christmas Eve. The kids got to choose one wrapped present from under the tree to be the special Christmas Eve one. One year, the particular present my husband picked wound up being a Batman Helicopter. A plain, plastic, toy helicopter. A present he didn't ask for, a present he didn't even want. A present that forever tainted that eight year old's Christmas Eve experience.

After we were married, he made it clear there would be no early gifts. But that changed.

With both of us being educators, books are important in our lives. We have hundreds (probably thousands) of books of mine, his, ours, and our daughter's. And we have a tradition of giving books on Christmas Eve.

Every Christmas Eve, we open an early present. And every Christmas Eve, it is always a book we want. We look months ahead at books of interest. Books we can put on our Christmas Eve book list. And every Christmas Eve when we open that book, we spend part of the evening reading before going to bed. It's an important tradition to us.

So today as my husband was reading the Sunday paper, he saw an article about a new book coming up. A book about John F. Kennedy. Being a history teacher, he's big into JFK. Particularly JFK and conspiracy theories. He has videos, and we have more than one shelf here at home full of JFK books, and it looks like come Christmas Eve he'll be adding one more.

He's big into JFK, history, and patriotism. While I was working on getting ready for my tutorial, he came in all excited about having cut what he called a "Labor Day Special" bouquet. Unfortunately, he had to explain it to me - red, white, and blue (okay, purple) roses.

And the name of the white rose in there? It's the rose called JFK.

Day 185 of 365

I like September.

I like September because that means it's almost October.

October means fall and trees turning orange and yellow and cooler days. October means it's time to rake up the leaves, shut up the rose garden, and close things down outside. It means no more guilt about the lack of time spent weeding, or the scarcity of bouquets brought in, or having to worry about keeping things trim and tidy.

And almost October means almost November. November equals Christmas. The only holiday for me.

I love doing crafts, but I particularly love Christmas crafts. Homemade ornaments, stockings, tree skirts, wall hangings. Years ago I got the idea I was going to sell crafts at Christmas shows. I didn't. I sold some things at school, but never found the time to make up enough things to do a show. Then I had the idea I would just sell Christmas things year round. I didn't.

But being it is September, which means it's almost October, which means it's almost November (which means Christmas crafts to me), I'm kind of excited.

Excited that I feel well enough - and have the time - to make fun stuff.

I was going to do another sugar cookie tutorial today for Tuesday's video, but I'm getting a bit tired of cookies right now. I'll do the tutorial tomorrow instead and more than likely it won't be cookies.

By the look of the tons of fabric squares I received in the mail today (plus the yards and yards of batting that didn't make it into the picture), it might need to be sewing related.

Day 184 of 365

A new day and a new job.

A new job? Not exactly a new job, but today I was offered an additional job at my same school. A couple extra hours a week added to my current part-time position equates to a few more dollars going towards paying my health insurance.  Doing sort of the same thing I'm doing already, but just for a different program.  Two job descriptions attached to my name now and some new responsibilities.

The best part of this particular add-on job is I that I can do it from home. No need to go into school any extra days, no need to get out of my sweats or into dress shoes. T-shirt, sweats or shorts, and tennis shoes - now those are the kind of clothes I can live in.

Just hanging out in comfy clothes, doing my job (or at least a couple hours of it).

Comfy clothes or not, I'm so thankful I can be a productive person and have something to offer. Not too long ago I didn't believe I'd ever get back to work, that my days of contributing were over. I can't believe my brain is still working.

Something else that doesn't seem believable? One of our few still-green pumpkins in the garden. The vine found its way to the pea fence and I think it decided it's a good place to hang out until fall.

While my mind, body, and spirit was broken not too long ago, I wonder what will break first here- the pumpkin, the vine, or the pea fence?

Day 183 of 365

It's half over.

I am now six months into my year-long plan of taking a picture a day. My, how far I've come. Yet, ...

The other day I wrote about how posting on the blog early in the day relieves pressure from me. How after I post it feels like the important part of the day is done and I can relax.

Yes and no.

After 183 days you'd think I would have exhausted the picture-taking possibilities. Sometimes it feels that way.  I want every picture to mean something to me. Just like when I started writing here, my goal was to take a picture every day to show I had lived.

But sometimes it feels that my life isn't exciting enough to document. I'm just an average person living an average (or in most cases, a below-average) kind of life. While we traveled extensively in the past, we're not doing that anymore.

I have thousands of pictures I've taken all over this country. The White House, nighttime fireworks over Disney World, The Space Needle in Seattle, taxis in New York City, Graceland, Florida beaches, the aftermath of Katrina in New Orleans. But that seems such a long time ago, a different life.

Nowadays it's so much simpler. Just looking at the categories of pictures tells the story. Sewing, gardening, charity.

It occurred to me this blog has allowed me to focus on a simpler life. It gives me a reason to look for something important in each and every day. While occasionally I might feel guilty I'm not posting pictures of exciting things like trips and parties and celebrations, the pictures are a genuine representation of the person I am.

I am a homebody. I like to cook and sew and garden. And who knew I would be someone who likes to make things for charity? (Certainly not me.)

Even though I sometimes feel pressure to find a picture, I always come up with something. Something unique, or important to me, something I've made, or something that fits in with how I'm feeling. I guess the universe is on my side, cheering me along.

Looking back to six months ago, I could never have predicted where I'd be now.

Back on Day 1 I had blinders on. It was dark and I couldn't see anything around me but the pain. In that first post I even struggled coming up with things I was thankful for. But over the course of the last six months, having a purpose - taking a picture and writing about it - forced me to get myself out of bed every day. Getting out of bed for many of those days (and still some days now) was/is an impossible feat. Getting out of bed and having to do something was even more impossible.

But I've done it. For half a year.

I'm still taking pictures and writing every single day. My charity work continues. I do weekly how-to videos now. I committed to an exercise program for four months, and now I'm at it again. I'm back to work doing a new job I enjoy. My confidence which was so sorely missed over the last 18 months is returning.

Although, the pain relief I was hoping for never came to be. It's as bad as before, but I'm developing better ways (mentally and physically) to cope with it. I still have my same frustrations with pain and fatigue, but I'm managing.

A couple people have asked me if I would continue this past the 365 day mark. Maybe. I am absolutely certain that if it wasn't for this "project", I wouldn't have made the growth I've had. I can't imagine I'm halfway to where I want to be. How long does it take people to be where they want to be?

At this six month anniversary, I didn't celebrate. But it just so happens this is the day my mom came to my house for the first time since she moved back from California. My daughter was here, too, so we spent some time today in the kitchen and with some garden produce. All of us now have plenty of food to take to work, home, and freeze.

Our table at the end of the day told the story:

• 71 tomatoes, 30 jalapenos, and 5 bell peppers picked from the garden.
• 1 batch of salsa made (from the garden produce).
• 9 loaves of zucchini bread baked (from garden zucchini).
• 6 jumbo sized banana muffins (from leftover bananas).
• 10 fried peach pies (from dehydrated peaches brought back from California).

Three generations of women baking. Probably a celebration in its own right. 

Day 182 of 365

When I was in high school I used to watch General Hospital. Luke and Laura was big then, as was Rick Springfield. And who could forget Richard Simmons on the show?

Richard Simmons.

He used to be on the show, then he had a show of his own. I admit it, I watched. Didn't necessarily exercise with him, but I watched. Then, as a young mother trying to get baby weight off, I found a Richard Simmons album. It was basically an exercise video without the video. He'd cheer you on, telling you what move to do next, counting off, all while you looked at the pictures that came in the album.

With the advent (and finally our household purchase) of the VCR, I bought one of his Sweating to the Oldies tapes. I liked the music, and I knew he had a good track record of working with overweight folks. Over the years, I've worn out the tapes.

But last year while recovering from my first shoulder surgery, I found some Richard Simmons DVDs. I bought all of them. (I think there are like five or six.) My plan was to use them once my shoulder got better. But I wound up with shoulder surgery number two and those DVDs have been sitting on the shelf ever since.

Not for long. I have a plan.

On Day 167, after 120 consecutive days of exercising, I stopped. I started back in April and ended in August. And as of two days ago I still had not started back up.

I had worked so hard to keep the streak alive. I had worked my way up to 3-5 miles a day on the exercise bike on Level 4. (It only has 7 levels.) But once I started back to work, the fear I had about not being able to maintain it came true. My evenings had been long, we had just buried my mother-in-law and I was feeling worn down and weak.

I'm still trying to adjust to this new routine of trying to balance work and home. I've been thinking on an exercise plan, and now I have one I can live with.

Those days I don't have to go to work are going to be exercise video days. With my old pal Richard Simmons. Yes, it's dorky, but I have to admit, it's kinda fun.

The other part of my plan started yesterday.

Each Tuesday I have a meeting going into the evening. Since I get to leave the house a little bit later in the morning because of it, I had some extra time to walk up and down our block yesterday morning. (It's been several years since I've done that.) I enjoyed it so much I did it again today. Unfortunately I can't say getting myself dressed and outside walking by 7:00 AM is easy. And I can't say walking is a pain free exercise for me.

But I sure do get to see pretty things that early in the morning. Today's picture is from some sunflowers at the end of our block.

Decorated Fishbowl Sugar Cookies - Day 181 of 365, Tutorial Tuesday

That one year during parent teacher conferences parents had no idea what the usually responsible teacher had hidden by a tote bag on the floor behind her desk.

Every time parent teacher conferences come around, teachers make sure kids clean and organize their desks. Lots of times parents want to check out their child's desk, and many, many times those parents are surprised/shocked/excited at how clean and neat the desk is. (For most kids, the desk goes back to pig-pen status within a couple days.)

Teachers also like for their classrooms to be nice and clean. Desks straightened, countertops wiped down, chairs neatly arranged around the tables. But I had a fish problem.

It just so happened this particular year my daughter came home from spending time with grandma with a fish. A goldfish kind of fish.

I've been traumatized by goldfish before. When I was a kid growing up my brother and I each had a goldfish. And I cleaned the tank. But cleaning the tank required getting a Cool Whip container for the fishies to swim in while the tank was being emptied. I wasn't exactly an expert fish wrangler. I could catch them in the little net, but to keep my hand covering the net while I carefully transferred them to the container? Not so much. More than once the little slimy creatures tried to make a run (or should I say leap?) for it. Leaped themselves onto the counter. Flopping all around. I had enough problems worrying about them touching my hands while they were in the net, so you can imagine the difficulty I had in grabbing them as they writhed around the counter. Downright frightening! Those fish didn't make it all too long.

So when my daughter came home with that fish, the fish tank cleaning memories came back.

We gave it a good go with that little fish. We cleaned the tank and we fed it regularly. But we had water problems. We lived in the country on a well with bad water. We eventually bought water at the store for fishy. Little daughter didn't take much responsibility with the fish, so I decided to take it to school where it could live in city water and be our class pet.

The students were more than excited to clean the tank and feed it and watch it swim around, right there on the counter next to the drinking fountain.

The town's water (and the school's old pipes) wound up being not so great for fishy and he started floundering in March of that year. He wasn't swimming as much, and although I brought in bottled gallons of water again, it was appearing to be a bit late for recovery.

But I didn't expect that just a few minutes before parent teacher conferences were to start, Mr. Fishy would be barely moving in his bowl. Having a lethargic, appearing-to-be-dying fish on the counter for all to see would not be appropriate for parent teacher conferences. So I did probably what seemed appropriate at the time.

Cover the bowl with a tote bag and hide him on the floor behind my desk. He stayed there all night.

At the end of conferences, the custodian took pity on me and took a walk to the boys' bathroom with our pal. There will never be anymore goldfish in my lifetime again.

Except for these. Don't forget to check out the video that goes along with them.

Day 180 of 365

I don't know why I think I should have control over things in my life.

I've had control issues before. I want to be in charge. But each time I think I should be in charge, making the decisions for my life, the universe thinks otherwise.

Such as what happened today.

I left the house this morning with a plan. A plan I was excited about. I had to do some not fun things, but the reward was going to be great. It was a plan that allowed me to go to the movies all by myself. (Oh, how I've been wanting to do that!)

I had an morning eye doctor appointment which would be over in time for me to get to the next city and go out to lunch before my next appointment - an MRI on my back. I'd finish with the MRI in plenty of time to get to my 1:40 movie. Then I was planning on hitting Home Depot for a new drill (the kid we hired, then fired, this summer broke ours) and a tool for the sprinkler system. I'd have enough time for all those things, plus visiting my mom, plus picking my daughter up from work.

But my day didn't turn out that way.

The eye doctor was running late. I didn't leave my 10:00 eye doctor appointment until after 11:30. No time for lunch as my MRI was in a different city at noon. I made it to the MRI, on an empty stomach, with a few minutes to spare. But the MRI folks were running late. I didn't leave there until after 2:00. I missed my movie (and the next wasn't starting until 4:30ish). And after spending an hour lying flat on a hard surface without being able to move a muscle, my back was a mess. No energy or patience to tackle Home Depot, and no pain pills to ease the pain (I gave those up ages ago).

I did go to lunch - not until close to 2:30. And to think I skipped breakfast so I could get popcorn at the movie I never did get to see.

I guess today wasn't a good day for a movie. Maybe I'll try again another day. Or maybe just give up. The stars are just not aligning for me.

Looking back on the day, the highlight really happened first thing this morning when I was in the rose garden.

My wonderfully fragrant Double Delight rose, still wet with dew.

Day 179 of 365

I sure miss posting on here in early afternoon.

For most days before summer was out I had a routine. I would work on sewing in the morning, have some lunch while watching the news at noon, and then do a bit more sewing. In most cases I had my picture already snapped by 1:00. I'd type a bit on my blog, head downstairs and exercise, then come back up and finish the blog and post my picture. By 2:30 I felt like I had accomplished quite a bit. I had thinking time, planning time, and working time.

But summer started and my husband was underfoot each and every day. My schedule wound up working around him and what he needed/wanted. Late breakfast, skip lunch, work in the gardens, exercise squeezed in where I could, writing my blog sometime in the evening. I even attempted to close up my sewing room twice so I could spend more time in the gardens (which did not work for me).

Then I started back to work, and my schedule became even more discombobulated. It became early breakfast, pack a lunch, get home late. Do the blog sometime before dark. And the exercising stopped.

Now I'm three (or is it four?) weeks back into work and I still can't get hold of a schedule that works for me. I sure miss the early blog posting and picture taking - it's like the important part of the day is done and I don't have the "pressure" to find something worthwhile to take a picture of.

But finally, today, I felt I could breathe a little more.

I again spent time this morning helping with the irrigation pump (that is still not working - grrr). But after some breakfast, my husband cleaned house to give me time to film my tutorial for Tuesday and work on getting a baby quilt finished.

And here it is not yet 2:30 in the afternoon and my tutorial is done (fishbowl cookies, as voted on by you!) and I have a picture of my latest baby quilt. While it may look like the exact same picture as on Day 173, it is not - it's now quilted with an overall meandering stitch, ready to be sent away.

I have four quilts going out the door this week, all to the Quilts for Kids organization. The one from Day 164, Day 176, the crumb quilt from Day 107 that I couldn't fit in the box last time, and today's.

Day 178 of 365

I went to the movies today.

I had planned on going one of these last couple days - all by myself - by my husband got all pouty about it. He wanted to go, and it's best to let him have his way.

If you've read my blog, you know my husband has cerebral palsey. To look at him, you'd think he had a stroke. He's unable to use his right side and walks with a limp. Living with someone who can't drive, can't tie his own tie (and he wears one almost every day), can't tie his own shoes (mostly slip-ons now, thank goodness), and can't cut his own steak can be a lot of work. He has great difficulty peeling potatoes, using a hammer, and cutting with scissors.

Over the course of our marriage, every piece of furniture and equipment that has needed to be assembled has been assembled by me. China cabinets, headboard, TV stands, chairs, exercise bike, bookcases (and we have dozens of those). TV hung on the wall, patio blocks installed? Me.

So those times I can get away by myself are rare, but so very precious.

I so look forward to a Saturday where I get the day to myself. I so wanted to have another quilt finished, and so wanted it to be my picture of the day. But today was not an alone do-my-own thing day. It started out with me having to help him for quite some time on the irrigation pump at home, time at the movies, and eventually ended at the grocery store.

I can't complain - I did get to go to the movie I wanted. And I found a gorgeous dessert (that I didn't buy) at the grocery store. I don't know what it was, but it looked so good!

Day 177 of 365

On a Friday in August of 1993, I canned tomatoes. Lots of tomatoes. Quarts and quarts of them.

I had graduated from college with my teaching degree the previous May, but no jobs were available. I had applied to be a teacher's assistant in the school where I did 2nd grade and 5th grade student teaching. I got an interview, but no job offer. I figured if I couldn't even get an assistant job, I certainly would never get a teacher job. I thought my career was over before it ever started.

Though, after two years of juggling my college schedule with my daughter's preschool schedule, I was more than happy to be a stay-at-home mom again. She was getting ready to head into Kindergarten, freeing me up to have half a day to myself.

A phone call at 3:00 in the afternoon, in the middle of canning all those tomatoes, changed that.

That phone call changed my life forever.

That phone call was from the principal of the school I had student taught at. The same school that didn't want me for the teacher's assistant job. This school had an increase in enrollment in 2nd grade and needed to hire a 2nd grade teacher immediately. And that principal wanted me to have the job. No interview, no interview questions. Just show up in a few minutes and get the keys to my new classroom. Oh, and don't forget, school will start on Tuesday.

So on a Friday afternoon in August in the middle of my tomato canning, four days before school was to start, I had a job. I was a teacher with a classroom and students.

My career did start. (Only later did I learn the reason I wasn't hired for the assistant job was because the principal told them not to hire me because he wanted me for the teacher job.)

That was 18 years ago and I am still in that same school. The principal has moved on and some of the second grade teachers have moved on. The students from that first year are all grown up now, with careers of their own. One of my 2nd graders from that year is now teaching just a few feet from my office. (Now, that'll make ya feel old!)

Just a few short months ago, I thought my career had ended. Guess not.

And here I am, just like the Friday in August of 1993, canning tomatoes.

Day 176 of 365

Ever so often, especially when things aren't going my way, I think to myself, "How will I feel about this a year from now?"

It helps me put things in perspective. What may seem like a crisis now, in the grand scheme of things, isn't such a crisis. It's that way with my frustrations with myself, too. When I think clearly, it's a temporary frustration and isn't all that important.

Like today.

Today was my first day home all by myself, with my husband off at work, since May. I was so excited about having lots of time today to do whatever I wanted.

I had a list of things I wanted to do, but I don't know what happened. Time slipped away from me somehow. This morning was a little slow moving. The grocery shopping trip last night left my back, as usual, a little problematic this morning. By mid morning it was feeling a bit better, but I never fully recovered and didn't feel like I could give my list enough attention. It looks like some things - zucchini bread, laundry, and canning of tomatoes - will be put off until tomorrow. I got frustrated at my lack of accomplishment, but when I looked at what I did do, it should have been enough. (Yet most of what I did do certainly won't matter a year from now.) I:

• got the irrigation pump started (it was down all last week).
• picked tomatoes (about 100 of them).
• picked corn for dinner.
• got distracted by a school/work related e-mail that turned into a must-do project today (even though it's my day off).
• got some bills paid. 
• worked on a kids' charity quilt.

Of all those, the charity quilt was the most important. The top is done, the batting and backing are together, and I got it quilted.

On this day a year from now, six months from now, or a couple weeks from now, a child sick and in the hospital, might receive it on a day where things aren't going well for them.

That's what matters the most.

Day 175 of 365

Finally. Finally I get to have a day off. Not today, but tomorrow.

How did I celebrate when I got off work today? Grocery shopping at Walmart.

It was time for that stock up we do every year. Unfortunately, I was much too tired to stock up like I thought I should ( I bought no soup, no chili, no tomato sauce, no meats). It wound up being staples - milk, chili powder, cat food, A1 - things that we've run out of and can't do without. And super tired = going out for dinner before shopping.

So after leaving the house after 5:00, going out to dinner, then going grocery shopping at Walmart, by the time I got back into the car to go home I was pooped. Thank goodness my husband was with me. He's good about letting me sit in the car while he loads the groceries in the back.

If it wasn't for him loading the groceries, I would never have seen what was tucked away in the "L" of the Walmart sign. Why I happened to look up at the sign on that particular part of the building, I'll never know - except to think maybe the universe knew I still needed a picture for the day.

You'll have to look closely. (It's a bird's nest.)

Don't forget to vote in my poll! Which sugar cookies should I do a video for next - fishbowls or glue bottles?

Corn on the Cob Decorated Sugar Cookies - Day 174 of 365, Tutorial Tuesday

Change is in the air. On the blog, that is.

I've indexed all my posts. When you visit you can see the most recent posts as usual, but now you have the option to choose a category. So those visiting who are looking for sewing and crafts pictures don't have to wade through my food pictures.

And the second change? On Tuesdays I'm posting my tutorials first thing in the morning.

Why? You talked and I listened.Your response was overwhelming for me continuing with Tutorial Tuesdays.

To manage it with my new work schedule, I'm filming on the weekends now. It gives me plenty of time to film, edit, upload onto YouTube, then upload here. It also gives me the opportunity to post in the morning (as opposed to when I get home from work at 6:00).

So today's early morning post is Corn on the Cob cookies. Yummy sugar cookies decorated to look like Corn on the Cob.

So now that the tutorials are continuing, vote in my poll. I'd like to do another batch of sugar cookies. Which ones should I do - glue bottles or fish bowls?

Click here for the how-to video:

Day 173 of 365

I'm a shopping slacker.

I haven't made a Target run for what seems like months. Maybe the end of May was my last one? (And that was only because it was my daughter's birthday.) I haven't been to Walgreens for any Register Reward items and haven't used any Albertsons double coupons.

And I haven't been doing so hot at keeping groceries in the house. The pickings from the pantry shelves are getting slim. Even the deep freeze is completely empty. We defrosted it last week and have yet to buy anything to refill it. No meats, no frozen vegetables, no frozen blueberries, no bread.

I'm going to have to get a move on. Usually at this time of year, we're stocking up for winter. I'm not sure exactly why we do it - it's not like we've gotten snowed in for more than a day or so. With only two of us in the house now I imagine we could not stock up, but that would put us into unfamiliar territory. We like "shopping" in our own pantry when we need something.

Today I did stop at the local grocery store in the town where I work and picked up a few meats. Just enough to get us by for a few more days. I know a big trip is going to have to come soon.

I may be slacking in the grocery shopping department, but I'm not slacking in the charity sewing department. I received a nice letter from The Painted Turtle Camp, thanking me for my work on the 24 turtle pillows I sent their way. (Day 154)

Then I finished a new baby quilt top with the fabric and pattern sent to me from the Quilts for Kids organization. I love the colors. Next stop- quilting it.