Day 249 of 365

It happened the other day when I was at the grocery store and it happened again early this morning.

It snowed.

It's not cold enough for it to stick to the ground, but it stuck to the roofs and porch railings. Just a dusting, but still a day (or two) worth remembering. With time changing back last night it seemed appropriate to wake up to snow. It's darker, it's colder, and winter will be on its way.

In winter I want to be a hibernating bear, keeping warm and sleeping my days away. However, as I reported on Day 24, I'm obsessed about tracking our power bill. So we have our heat system programmed to kick on when the temperatures at night hit the mid-50s in the house. That's pretty darn cold. We never have it set higher than 64 degrees during the day. (Although some days we'll cheat and crank it up to 67.) I imagine some day we'll keep our place warmer, but just not yet.

The snow and the cold temperatures got me thinking about our gardens. The vegetable garden is all pulled up, the wildflowers and perennials have all died off, and the roses are done for and awaiting a good pruning in preparation for winter.

We have one - and only one - flower still blooming. Some of our mums have been killed off by the heavy frost, but there is a lone holdout where it is protected by the eaves of the house.

The last blooming flowers of the year.

Day 248 of 365

It's quite interesting how when parents become empty nesters, pets become the new kids.

I've always chuckled at older folks with their little dogs. But since we're empty nesters and we have a cat, I shouldn't be chuckling anymore. When our daughter was at home, the cat played a somewhat small role in our lives. Not now.

Our cat was born to a barn cat. She was several weeks old, bright blue eyes, a tiny little body, and a big bushy face when she was given to us by one of my fourth grade students. We started out calling the cat Furby because of how her facial features looked in comparison to her body.

She was quite a wild little thing. She only let us pet her on her terms. She didn't even care to be around the three of us, either. Even as she got older, she still had no interest in hanging out with us. She was an indoor cat, an outdoor cat, and a back and forth cat. Didn't seem like she preferred any one over the other.

But now that daughter doesn't live here anymore, the cat acts differently. And so do we.

Granted, she's 10 years old or so now, but she sure has calmed down. She's decided she wants to be a lap cat. She can be sound asleep upstairs but as soon as I head down to the basement to watch TV with hubby, she tags along. Jumps right up into my lap and falls asleep. I go back upstairs - back up she goes, too. She sleeps at the foot of our bed, but for some reason if I'm turned on my side in bed she'll use me as a balance beam. She'll start at my feet and walk herself up my legs, past my hips and plant herself on my upper body and fall asleep. What's up with that? But the even bigger question is, why are we putting up with it?

Because she's become our new kid. We talk to her all the time. We ask her questions. We keep her on a regular feeding schedule. My husband is always looking for good sales on cat food - both wet and dry - and has us buying the best food out there. If we're outside, she's outside. If we're inside, she's usually inside. On cold nights and hot days, in the house is where you'll find her.

She gets to sit on the barstool when my husband is getting her dinner ready. We let sleep just about anywhere she wants. She bawls to go outside at four o'clock every morning and hubby gets up to let her out. She wants back in every morning at six and she gets let back in.

Spoiled little ball of fur.

Day 247 of 365

As I was driving into Boise early this morning for a doctor's appointment I was wondering what it would be like not to have to drive so far for these kinds of things.

We live in the small town of Marsing. The grocery store we visit, the theater, the drugstore, the hospital and doctors' offices all range from about 15 to 40 miles away. (Not the gas station anymore, though!) Whenever we bring something home to eat (like McDonalds - although we haven't done that since Day 226) the food is always cold by the time we get home.

But the most inconvenient drives are the ones to the doctors' offices. Most of my doctors are 30-40 miles from here and they always involve rush hour traffic. If it's a morning appointment like today, I get caught in the morning traffic, and if it's an appointment anywhere from 3:00 on, it's the afternoon traffic.

No rush hour traffic here in our town. While a major highway runs through it, the speed limit is 25 mph. We have stop signs and crosswalks, of course, but no stop lights. And my drive to work consists of highway driving in the country to another town with no stop lights. While I like small town living, I wonder if we'll ever leave. Our house is paid for. My husband is a few years from early retirement. And some days I get darned tired of driving us everywhere.

I just took my husband to the local market again and sat there wondering how many times can you do something before it gets old. I don't go into this particular store with him anymore because he's a talker. He always, always, always strikes up a conversation with someone in there. Whether it's a current or former student, a fellow employee, or someone he knows from the community, he chats away. So I've learned it's best to just stay in the car and wait because it'll be a long time before he's done.

Depending where I park in the parking lot, I get an interesting view that never gets old. The store is plopped right down on the corner. The highway runs right by it, old homes sit beside it, and the high school gym is across the street.

Those old houses have old garages that go with them. A rolling stone may gather no moss, but an old roof sure does.

Day 246 of 365

I went back and read through some of my blog last night.

It's a weird thing reading what you've written in the past. It's like vacation pictures. A few days back from a vacation and you've forgotten half of what you did. Real life gets in the way and memories quickly fade. But if you took a picture, what vivid memories and stories you can tell about what was happening in that photo. (At least that's the way it works with me.) Just like pictures from when I was a kid. I don't remember most of my childhood, but if there's a picture? Yep. I remember that birthday under the patio table umbrella when I was 5 - but only because there is a picture to document it.

As it is with taking a picture for 246 consecutive days. Thanks to those pictures, I remember how I spent these last few months. And thanks to the words I wrote on those 246 days, I remember how I felt. (Pictures aren't always worth a thousand words.)

Unfortunately as I went back reading through some of these posts, I also found lots of typos in my work. It seems the days I struggle with pain and fatigue the most are the days I make the most mistakes. I used to be a perfect writer. Now, not so much. But at least I recognize - albeit at a later date - that I could do a better job editing! I'll continue working on not making silly mistakes. And I'll certainly work on not using so many doggone commas.

I'll keep working on the other  important things, too - pictures, words, and quilts for kids. 

Another one for Operation Kid Comfort.

Day 245 of 365

I wanted to jump for joy when I was driving home from work. I wanted to yell out, "There's a Shell, there's a Shell!"

The first credit card we ever had when we were married was a Phillips 66 gas card. It was only in my husband's name, but I was an "authorized" user. That was back in our college days in Boise. Every time we filled up with gas, we filled up at a Phillips 66. But soon the Phillips 66 stations started disappearing. Even on our short trips out of town it became more difficult to find one. So once my husband got a real job (a teaching job) and we moved out to the country we switched over to Texaco. Then we only filled up the gas tank at Texaco stations.

Then the Texaco stations in Idaho started disappearing, to be replaced by Shell stations. Thankfully our credit card just rolled over to Shell. We've had a Shell card ever since.

But we haven't had a Shell station nearby. In fact, for many years this town never even had a gas station. When our local market burned down quite a few years back (maybe 20?) they rebuilt and added a gas station. But not a Phillips 66, not a Texaco, and not a Shell.

To use our gas card, we've always had to go to another town to fill up our tank. 24+ years of never being able to fill 'er up nearby. Until now.

As I was driving by Snake River Mart, a big vinyl Shell sign is covering the old Sinclair gas sign. For the first time in umpteen years, I'll be able to get gas in the same town where I live.

It's a time to celebrate. (The little things that get me excited!)

Oh yea, and another quilt done for Operation Kid Comfort.

Easy to Make Fabric Gift Card Holders - Day 244 of 365, Tutorial Tuesday

As an only child, my daughter used to get quite spoiled at Christmas. We bought her plenty of toys, books, and games. Too many of them. It took us a few years to figure out what we were doing. When we figured that out, we stopped doing the too-many-presents kind of Christmases.

Now we operate on the Christmas list kind of Christmas. She doesn't ask for much, but I feel like we should be getting her presents that aren't on "the list". Even though she's 23, I still feel like she's a kid and deserves many more presents than the adults.

Gift cards are a big one. I don't know how we got started with the gift card thing. When she was younger, I don't remember gift cards even being around. Gift certificates, yes. Gift cards, no. But now it seems you can buy gift cards for just about anywhere. Even the grocery store sells gift cards for dozens and dozens of other retailers. So over the years she's gotten gift cards for grocery stores, department stores, and restaurants. We've spent more on gift cards than we have other presents for both Christmas and her birthday.

Thinking ahead to Christmas and knowing gift cards might again be part of our gift giving, I made some gift card holders.

A great way - and super easy and quick way - to use up some scrap fabric.

For this project you will need:

• fabric
• stiff paper-backed fusible adhesive
• Pins or Clover Wonder Clips
• Iron
• Sewing machine
• Matching thread
• Rotary cutter
• Cutting ruler
• Cutting mat
• Scissors

Looking for more quick and easy projects? Check out these ideas!

Disclosure: Deb's Days is a participant in affiliate advertising programs designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to affiliated sites. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. Your purchase helps support my work in bringing you new sewing and crafting content.

You can find the step-by-step how to tutorial for the quick and easy gift card holder sewing project right here:

Day 243 of 365

A week ago I made a list. A list of everything I was going to accomplish on my week off. Let's see how I did.

I was going to:

• Quilt all my unfinished quilt tops. (Finished some on Day 236, Day 238, and today. But still working on them.)
• Do a tutorial for Stockings for Soldiers. On how to make the stockings, of course. (Check. Day 237.)
• Call to get roofing quotes. Yuck. (Still yuck. And still not done.)
• Write up directions for the strip quilt for my school's Project Linus blankets. (Nope, not in writing yet.)
• Put the electric blanket on the bed. (Decided to skip it. Hubby always turns it up too high anyway.)
• Dust, dust, dust. (Uh, no.)
• Put new curtains up in the bedroom. Finally. (Uh, another no. Will wait until I get a new quilt on the bed.)
• Rake leaves. Rake leaves. Rake leaves. (Not even once. It's windy, so I'm hoping the wind will blow them away.)
• Take the casino bus for the day. Free food, $50 in free play. Yay! (Yep. Yay!)
• Make final payments on all the medical bills that have been dragging on for ages - physical therapy, MRI, and ultrasounds. (Yep, all clear for now.)
• If the hard freeze comes this week as predicted - pull up the pepper plants and pick the remaining pumpkins and watermelon. (Yep. And did a couple pumpkins with my daughter on Day 240 and went watermelon bowling on Day 239.)

Could have been better, but not too bad. Still have some things to get done this week so they'll have to fit in on my non-work days.

Another quilt top done for Quilts for Kids today. Embarrassingly it's the one from quite some time ago. The Wizard of Oz one from Day 157 and 163 that I never got around to finishing until now.

Day 242 of 365

How do you get yourself out of bed when you feel horrible? How do you force yourself to sit at the computer and write? And find joy in sewing again? For 242 straight days I've made myself do it. But some days - like today - I wonder if I can continue.

There are good days, bad days, and even worse days. I'm running a long stretch of days bordering on pretty darn bad. I still can't shake this flu and it's wearing on me. I'm tired, I'm sick, and I'm dreading going back to work this week. It's not like I don't feel crappy enough every day as it is, but now I'm having to dig deeper than ever to find the strength to keep moving forward.

My day's horoscope read:
If you're thinking about making a change in your life, take it slowly -- whether it's a major change or a minor one. Gradual transitions are much more advantageous than abrupt changes right now -- you need to maintain balance in your life. If you swing from extreme to extreme, you'll spend so much energy trying to get back on an even keel that your speed will be wasted. Slow and steady beats fast and frantic right now.

So no changes. I'll just keep plugging along. Writing, picture taking, trying to get through the day.

Although the only picture I could scrape together is a grasshopper staring up at me. While quite unattractive, he (or she) is quite interesting to look at up close.

Day 241 of 365

I put my clothes in the bedroom closet for the first time today.

Here's the deal - my husband is a clothes hound. He likes dressing well. Doesn't own a pair of jeans. He wears a tie to work every day. Loves button down dress shirts. Likes his suits. Over a hundred ties, dozens and dozens of dress shirts in every possible color, and a whole bunch of dress pants equates to a full closet.

The house we live in was build in the 70's with regular sized closets. Ever since we moved into this house - going on 14 years now - I've kept all my clothes in the den closet so that he's had room for all his clothes. So every single morning to get dressed for work I've had to head down the hall to get my clothes. But being in that introspective/contemplative mood this week got me thinking.

Why can't we share the bedroom closet?

It's not like he wears everything in his closet and I certainly don't wear everything in mine. So today (and without much prodding, either) my husband cleaned out a portion of his closet. He found some things to add to the donation box and summer clothes he could store in the den closet. It left enough room for me to bring in the few work outfits I have and hang them up.

For the first time ever, I now will be able to choose my clothes and get dressed in the same room. I have no idea why I didn't think about making this move sooner. 

I also have no idea why I chose to take this picture today. Sitting outside our local grocery store while hubby was in picking up some steak so he could have fajitas for his dinner tonight, I snapped a shot of the crisscrossing power lines. Maybe it had something to do with the stormy clouds in the background or the crows that had just flown by. Kinda Halloween-y.

Day 240 of 365

Having this week off from work has made me more introspective. Or contemplative. Whichever term fits best.

Hubby and I were in town today, and on the way home we decided to come the back way. It was a gorgeous autumn day with trees in many different colors - greens, yellows, oranges, reds, and some that even appeared to be a deep purple. Just like when the trees are blooming in the spring, the fall trees signal a change in season and a change in thought.

As we drove that back way home it hit me that I don't get out much. We live so close to so many things we don't take advantage of.

On the back roads, less than 10 minutes from our house, we drove:

• Across the dam of the lake. A lake that we never go to.
• By the Wildlife Refuge. Not a bird watcher so we never stop.
• Through the fruit orchards and by fruit stands. Yet we buy our fruit at the grocery store.
• By the winery. Since I don't drink wine, I've only been there once. 
• By the park by the river. The one with the paved walking path I used to walk on years ago. And the one with the stocked fishing pond. And we don't fish.

Why do we not go to the lake or to the Wildlife Refuge? Why do we not buy our fruit at the fruit stand? Or stop at the winery for my hubby to do some tasting? Why don't I walk at the park anymore and why doesn't one of us get a fishing license?

Questions with no answers. Laziness, forgetfulness, or busyness?

And why did we grow pumpkins when we don't carve them?

Thank goodness for my daughter forcing me to do something with them. (Not really forcing me - it was good mom-daughter time.) No carving, no messy seeds and guts to deal with. Just a pattern printed off the internet, traced onto the pumpkin with a straight pin, and cut out with some tools.

Day 239 of 365

After hours upon hours riding the bus to and from the casino, the time at the casino where I talked to no one, and the day I spent with my daughter today, I know some things for sure.

I know for sure:

• I like gambling. I like the excitement, I like the distraction. I don't like the noise, the lights, the smoke. And I don't like losing. Having a set schedule where I knew I only had a limited amount of time to play made me become a more aggressive and panicky gambler. I didn't like that part either.
• Last week's flu re-set my need for food. Since then I've still had an upset stomach so I've been holding to a limited diet. Now I like an empty stomach and don't want to be overstuffed again.  Even yesterday when I went to the casino, I didn't use my free meals. I had half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the ride down and the other half on the ride back.
• I'll never eat a Hostess pie again. I love Hostess fruit pies. Grew up on them. The blackberry, the lemon - oh my! But last night when the bus stopped at the gas station for a restroom break, I picked up a lemon pie. (That peanut butter and jelly wound up not being all that filling after all.) After I ate the pie, I looked at the calorie count. I should have looked at it before eating it. 490 calories. I can't believe I ate those all the time as a kid. There are a lot of other things in a gas station at 10:00 at night to eat with fewer calories than that, so never again. 
•  I should never buy lottery tickets. A gal at work has been buying these $20 Idaho lottery tickets and has been winning big. At that same gas station stop, with some cash from the casino burning a hole in my purse, I decided to buy one. Got on the bus, scratched it. Nothing. $20 gone just like that.
• There are a lot of semis on the road late at night. And some of those truck drivers have interesting, bordering on dangerous, ways of keeping themselves awake/occupied. Like the drivers (yep, that's plural meaning we saw more than one of them) with a laptop in the front seat with a movie playing.

But the thing I learned today was the best. Watermelon bowling can be fun on an autumn day. The several days of hard freezes have taken out the entire vegetable garden. My daughter and I spent the afternoon cleaning everything out of there. We picked a load of watermelon, but some were just too small and had to be thrown away. So we did what any logical mother and adult child would do. We took the smallest four and made a bowling game out of them. I don't know who taught my daughter how to bowl with watermelons, but she kicked my behind. It didn't last long though, because I ruined the game when I missed and my watermelon busted open when it went careening into the corner of the planter box.

Today's picture is before the damage.

Day 238 of 365

This isn't working anymore.

I've been trying to use up some of my fabric scraps. I've been making block after block after block. As I was sewing a block the other night it occurred to me that it's not working anymore.

It's not that the scraps aren't going together properly, it's not that I can't keep a quarter inch seam, and it's not that I don't like what I'm creating.

It's that sewing isn't taking my mind off the pain like it used to. On Day 107 I had said, The only way I know to make it through each day is to try and keep myself busy with writing, taking pictures, and sewing and quilting for others. 

It's absolutely true. I wouldn't have gotten where I am now without those things, but...

It's getting harder. Harder to keep my mind off the pain. I don't know if the pain has become greater, making it harder to keep my mind focused or if it is something else. One of the reasons I enjoyed getting into the sewing so much is because it kept me from thinking about how bad I was feeling. It was a relaxing process, yet a process where I could focus on something else besides what I was feeling. But now, not so much. The temptation to take a pain pill is returning. A pain pill would provide relief, albeit temporary.

I'm pursuing my own form of temporary relief today. I'm taking a break from sewing for the first time in a while and heading down on the casino bus. Maybe a little getaway for the day will make me feel better. (I doubt it, but you never know!)

It does make me feel better having two more kids' quilts finished up before I head out, though.

Stockings for Soldiers Directions - Day 237 of 365, Tutorial Tuesday

I thought my work was done. The Stockings for Soldiers work, that is. I thought I was ending at 80 stockings. I made my contribution and that was plenty. I did my part.

Yet on Day 225 I took material over to my mom's place to have her help with sewing some additional stockings. She sewed up eight more.

But then another couple things happened.

First - sometimes my husband is around when I'm taking my picture of the day. He's seen me taking pictures of kid quilts and turtle pillows and Christmas stockings, and usually never asks questions. The other day we were talking about the stockings - who they were for, where they went, and how I only sewed stockings. How the organization had a list of items they need donated so they can fill the stockings. Items that I wasn't collecting. Things like like gum, toothbrushes, fly swatters, trail mix. My husband wanted more details and even wanted a printed list. (You can find the complete list here.)

My husband took that list with him to school. Shared it with some staff members, and now we have a high school club collecting items. I'll be picking them up here in a couple weeks. I'm not sure how much they're planning on collecting, but anything will be great!

Looking for sewing and crafting projects? 

Click here to see all my tutorials!

Then, number two happened.

I needed a tutorial for the week. I still had some Christmas fabric around, so it was natural for me to do a tutorial on how to make the stockings. (I wanted others to see how quick and easy they were to make.) I put the video up on YouTube and sent the link to the organization for them to use if they wanted. I got a very excited sounding e-mail back. Among other things, it read: Thank you very much for thinking of our Project and for creating such an excellent and perfect video that will help other volunteers to have a very clear understanding of what we do and what we need.

Take a look, and hopefully you too will be able to whip some up. 

Happy Sewing.

Disclosure: Deb's Days is a participant in affiliate advertising programs designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to affiliated sites. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. Your purchase helps support my work in bringing you new sewing and crafting content.

You can find the step-by-step how to video for making the Christmas stockings sewing project for the Stockings for Soldiers organization right here:

Day 236 of 365

Since this week (and every week) I'm knee-deep in sewing for charity, I thought I'd do a recap of all the organizations I'm providing support for. (My projects for all these groups can be found under "Charity/Donations" at the top of my page.) Hopefully it might inspire you to do some sewing, too!

If you are looking for projects where your sewing skills are greatly appreciated, here are my favorites:

Operation Kid Comfort needs people to help make pillows and quilts for kids of deployed military personnel. They send you pictures of the parent and child which have already been ironed onto fabric. You use those pictures along with your own fabrics to create one of a kind meaningful quilts.

Quilts of Valor needs quilters to help provide servicemembers and veterans with quilts of their own. You can make quilts, but they also have a need for presentation cases (like a pillowcase).

The Painted Turtle is one of the Paul Newman Hole in the Wall Camps for seriously ill kids. They are always looking for folks to sew quilts or crochet/knit afghans, or even sew turtle pillows. (They send all campers home with a big ole stuffed turtle pillow.)

Stockings for Soldiers needs people to sew up Christmas Stockings for our troops overseas. The quick and easy pattern can be printed off the internet. (My tutorial tomorrow will prove how quick and easy it is to make these.) They also have a list of items they are collecting to "stuff" the stockings with.

Quilts for Kids. You can request their free quilt kits. They contain a pattern, fabric for the top and a backing fabric. You supply the batting (and the labor). They ask you send along an additional quilt from your own fabric, if possible.
 
Today's picture is from my free fabric kit from Quilts for Kids. I sewed the top together on Day 229 and today I got it quilted.

Day 235 of 365

I have the entire week off from work and I'm ready to go. The flu is gone and I need to get myself moving. I need some goals for the week and I've got a good list started.

I have a mixture of household tasks and sewing tasks to be accomplished. This week I will:

• Quilt all my unfinished quilt tops.
• Do a tutorial for Stockings for Soldiers. On how to make the stockings, of course.
• Call to get roofing quotes. Yuck.
• Write up directions for the strip quilt for my school's Project Linus blankets.
• Put the electric blanket on the bed.
• Dust, dust, dust.
• Put new curtains up in the bedroom. Finally.
• Rake leaves. Rake leaves. Rake leaves.
• Take the casino bus for the day. Free food, $50 in free play. Yay!
• Make final payments on all the medical bills that have been dragging on for ages - physical therapy, MRI, and ultrasounds.
• If the hard freeze comes this week as predicted - pull up the pepper plants and pick the remaining pumpkins and watermelon.

One of the items has already been started. I finished up the quilt top I made yesterday. I added a fleece backing and tied it with some excess candlewicking thread I had. Unfortunately, the only matching piece of fleece I had was a bit smaller than it should be, so the quilt isn't perfect. (At least by my standards.) They'll be no picture taking of it, but I'll make another one (need the practice, ya know) with the correct size fleece.

A better picture was found outside today anyway. If that hard freeze shows up, these roses won't look nearly as pretty. But they sure are pretty right now.

Day 234 of 365

Nine. I have a backlog of nine.

These last couple weeks I've been slowly working away on putting together kids quilts for Operation Kid Comfort and Quilts for Kids. Yesterday evening when I still wasn't feeling so hot I went into the sewing room to clean up some scraps. And counted. Counted the quilt tops finished that need to be quilted.

I came up with eight. I don't know how that happened. Usually I might have two or three, but somehow with being busy with work and my daughter being here and me not feeling so great this week, I wound up with quite a pile. I've never had that many at once ready to be quilted. This is the time where I wish I knew someone who liked doing the quilting part.

Yet this afternoon I made another quilt top for yet another charity project.

The school counselor where I work is putting something together for Project Linus. Project Linus is another kids quilt/blanket donation/charity organization. I'll give more details later on the school's specific project, but I was asked to design a quilt easy enough for even non-sewers to make. 

So I did. And that makes nine.

My own version of a simple strip quilt. Straight seams, no need to match corners. Easy and quick. I'm working on putting together yardage requirements and clear and concise directions. (Guess my writing skills will be coming in handy yet again). This one will be backed with fleece, something new for me.

Maybe I'll tackle that learning experience tomorrow. 

Day 233 of 365

My daughter stepped it up again.

She's been home these last couple days, hanging out, helping around the house a bit. She was planning on heading back home yesterday afternoon, but plans changed.

Not long after I wrote here yesterday about how icky I was feeling and how I wasn't up to taking my husband to the eye doctor in the evening, things changed. Not in a good way. As the time got closer and closer to his appointment, things started deteriorating more and more. By the time I needed to leave I had developed a full blown case of the stomach flu. Hours and hours of it.

Being too sick to even think, my daughter stepped up and took over. She picked her dad up, took him out for dinner, got him to his appointment, went grocery shopping, and filled the car with gas. She delivered him back home, unloaded the car, checked on her mamma, then turned around and went back to her place late last night.

I don't know what I would have done without her. It was one of those times when you're so very sick you can't worry about anyone or anything else. All you want to do is be in your jammies and in bed. And last night I only had to worry about myself.

My grown up, 23 year old daughter covered my responsibilities. Again, another proud mom moment. Just wish I was feeling better to enjoy it.

I did sit up for a while today, just long enough to write and to put a pillow form into the pillow I had made for Operation Kid Comfort. This one will be going to a little girl who has a dad away in the Air Force.

Day 232 of 365

I don't get excited about too many things. The thought of having a few days in a row off from work was something I was looking forward to. Except knowing the pattern I've fallen into, it isn't turning out as exciting as I thought it would.

Here's the pattern:

• Go to work and work 10+ hour days.
• Come home to dinner on the table (thanks to hubby). Eat dinner with little energy for conversation.
• Go to the computer and work another hour or two.
• Go to bed exhausted.
• Wake up the next morning still exhausted and do the same thing.

Heading into this going back to work thing, I thought the days off would be like when I wasn't working. Take my time getting up and getting dressed. No stresses, no worries. But now that I'm into it, it appears the stresses and worries (and e-mails to be answered) spill over from my work days into my days-off days. And the exhaustion from overdoing it on the work days carries over into my days-off days. With my days off from work having been sporadic, I've wound up using those days off as recovery days.

There probably is a solution. Don't overdo it at work. Don't work once I get home. Don't answer work e-mails on days off. Easier said than done.

Today is one of those days I'm paying for it. I'm off today, but had to do some work-related tasks. But the rest of the day has been icky. Not feeling well, tired, joints hurting. Knowing I have to take my husband to his yearly eye-doctor appointment tonight is not something I have the energy for, either.

These are the times I realize that I've taken on too much and my health can't sustain it for much longer.

But still a picture for the day. Thank goodness a butterfly happened to land on the window.

Day 231 of 365

I got the word.

The results of the ultrasounds on my hands were not good. I had an ultrasound on the hands about a year ago and, in comparison, this one is worse. The swelling in the joints and tendons of my hands and wrists has increased. The joint destruction is continuing. With the aggressive treatments I'm on (injections of Methotrexate and injections of Enbrel) he should not be seeing ultrasound results like I had.

According to the doctor the hands are a good "dipstick" of the body. By doing a simple ultrasound of the hands and wrists you can determine the type of problems going on in the other joints. If it's happening in the hands, it's happening elsewhere. If the issues are getting worse in the hands, they're getting worse throughout the body. So it's not necessarily just about the wrists and hands, it's about what that information represents. 

When I started injecting Enbrel on Day 15, I couldn't believe I had gotten so desperate for relief. Then on  Day 92 when I had to start injecting Methotrexate I thought I had crossed my last line in the sand. Except now there is another line waiting for me. It's time for the last ditch effort, the thousands of dollars per session treatment.

The infusions. It's time for IVs.

Several in the first month, then one about every month afterward. Right now the doctor's office is working with my insurance company to decide coverage, but it appears it will only cover a portion of the exorbitant cost.

My daughter knows that with me only working part -time, finances aren't exactly strong right now. So she asked me what would happen if I refused the IVs. If I refused, things would continue to deteriorate and my body would never be able to recover. My joints would continue to fail and the pain would continue to get worse. Although, even with this new super-aggressive last treatment option, things could continue to get worse.

I feel kind of stuck right now. Do I put our family into financial stress to pursue treatment? Do I cut out one of the activities in my life - writing, working, or sewing - to try and keep me from using my hands too much? Do I do nothing and hope for the best?

Right now I'm in do nothing mode. I'll keep on the current treatments until I hear back from insurance. That will buy me some time before I have to make any decisions.

Time to sew, write, and harvest some of the last of the garden. Pumpkins, watermelon, kale, peppers, and some not-quite-red tomatoes.

Decorated Scarecrow Cupcakes - Day 230 of 365, Tutorial Tuesday

I couldn't be prouder of my daughter nowadays.

The teenage years weren't the best, though. Having both parents as school teachers didn't help things much, and having her dad as her teacher for a couple classes during high school didn't either. She was more interested in volleyball than studying. Yet we sent her off to college, paying her way - tuition, room and board, books and supplies, and some spending money. She rarely called home, and when she did the conversations were short. She was more interested in a social life than going to class.

Two years of college and she was back home. (Probably with the classes she did pass it only equaled one year.) She decided the working world was where she was headed. She moved in with my mom in the big city, hoping for better job opportunities. She couldn't find anything for the longest time, but finally as the Christmas holiday rolled around she got hired as temporary holiday help.

But bless her heart, the girl who was raised with a good work ethic but never put it into practice worked her tail off at that holiday help job. And when they let the holiday help go right after New Year's, they found a position for her. Then earlier this year when they did a round of layoffs store-wide, they moved someone into a different position so she could be kept on.

Now two years later that hardworking girl is still there. Loving her job and doing great at it. And little miss 23 year old calls home every day.

We are proud of her commitment to the working world. As a mom, I'm just as proud of the work she did for the tutorial this week. She bought the ingredients, prepared the workspace, and crafted what she wanted to say. Cool and confident on camera as she made Scarecrow Cupcakes.

Way to go, girl!

Click on the video for the directions: