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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Day 931

I like to think I'm a strong person. It seems counterintuitive that illness would make someone stronger. I don't think it's so much the illness itself but what the illness has made me do.

Live life.

But I'm not feeling so strong right now. My pain, stiffness, and fatigue are approaching my maximum threshold. My knee has been increasingly been getting worse and needs replacing. I re-injured my rotator cuff a while back and it makes doing anything with my right arm - including cutting out stockings - quite difficult. And for some reason I feel like my lung issue might even be getting worse.

I'm in physical therapy to try and regain some strength. What kind of exercises does someone with a knee that needs replacing, a torn rotator cuff, and one functional lung do? Lots of things. Unfortunately mostly upper body work. Things that hurt. A lot. And wear me out. A lot. And make me not be able to catch my breath. A lot.

So yeah, not feeling so strong right now. Almost (okay kinda) was in tears when I got into the car tonight after physical therapy. I'm trying so hard to hold it all together. Kitty knows that, too. Could she squish any closer to me?