Thursday, March 10, 2011

Day 8 of 365

So today I realized I do have to risk getting TB or lymphoma and start taking these crazy-expensive medications.

Yesterday, I had gone grocery shopping, to the drug store, Staples, physical therapy, and got a haircut. I kind of knew that was too much to cram into one day, but I did it. Today I attempted to do some work in the garden. We decided to plant strawberries this year, and since they've already been shipped, I needed to hustle to get the ground prepped. We're putting them in a terraced bed that we've used before for planting, so there isn't all that much to do to get the ground ready. Had to dig up some chives and a couple of peony roots, then had to take out some extra soil that overflowing into the lower terrace. I didn't quite get to do all that needed to be done. I dug a couple of the chives, tilled the soil a bit with the hoe, but that's about it. Thank goodness my daughter was here today - she had to do the rest. I probably spent a total of 15 minutes work; she spent at least 3 hours. My body just gave out.

Bending over picking up the chives hurt the back, raking hurt the shoulders, sitting down to take a break hurt the knees. Now tonight  I'm so close to popping myself a pain pill, but since it wasn't in my plans, I won't.

It is frustrating. Frustrating that my body has worn out. Frustrating that pain infuses each and every day. Frustrating that my life is not the same life I've known. But my mind is clear. And some days that's all I have.

In frustration, I headed into my sewing room, my haven of quiet, for an hour. I've been putting together some Concentration/Memory games made out of fabric. Today I finished up the ocean/beach themed ones, and made a little cloth carrying bag for it. I may put them on Etsy later, but for now, here's what it looks like: