Day 70 of 365

I sat down today and made a to-do list of all the things that need to happen outside in the next couple weeks.

The list is long:

• Pull tree seedlings out of rose garden and wildflower garden.
• Cut out winter damage in roses.
• Clip back tulips and other spring bulbs.
• Dig grass out of all gardens.
• Cut up broken branch from last week's windstorm.
• Replant herbs (except parsley and oregano).
• Cut landscape timbers to fit around new climbing roses.
• Bring out patio table.
• Put new bench together.
• Plant morning glory.
• Cut branches back from roof.
• Pinch off peony side shoots.
• Empty garbage cans of dirt/weeds.
• Cover woodpecker hole in shed.
• Weed strawberry bed.
• Pinch off blooms from strawberries.

And in prioritizing them, a few projects that can wait a bit:

• Clean out gutters.
• Cut board for ditch.
• Build trellis for tomatoes.
• Put sealant on new bench and rocking chair.
• Finish cement edging in wildflowers.
• Remove landscape fabric/edging around tree.
• Use edging from around tree to edge vegetable garden.
• Finish terracing behind shed
• Re-stain all landscape timbers.

Now that the weather is finally warming up, we're a bit behind. We will hopefully have the high school student help us out with a few of the more labor intensive ones. And two things on the list I already did today. I (finally) weeded the strawberry bed, and since it's the first year for them, I had to pluck off all the blossoms.

Before I did, I snapped a picture of one of them. I see that I missed some weed roots, but the strawberries sure look different than when I planted them as bare-roots back on Day 16.

Exercise update: 24 for 24.

Day 69 of 365

I feel like a slacker today.

I'm so far behind on everything. I thought I'd be farther down the road on the downsizing. I'm working at it quite often, but it isn't my priority so it slides. I'm falling farther behind on the quilt that's in the frame. I've worked on it a few days, but haven't even finished one section of it yet. My rose garden is full of tree seedlings that have sprouted after the seed pods dropped from the trees last year. If I don't watch it, we're going to wind up with a tree farm instead of a rose garden. My strawberries still haven't been weeded. And thank goodness my husband has been watering our newly planted vegetable garden, because I certainly haven't.

I don't know where the time goes. I spend an hour or two on the computer each day, working on the blog and printing recipes, coupons, and patterns. I exercise. I eat cereal for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, and cook dinner. I don't sit down to watch TV but a couple times a week in the evenings.

So where does it go? I can't get a handle on it. I spend time figuring out what I'm going to take a picture of. I walk across the street to get the mail. I take a shower. I get dressed. (Not in that order.)

I look back at the blog and know I've done a lot. And some days I'm excited about it. But today even that isn't enough to pull me out of my funk. Maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe it's because I know I only have a few days left to be home by myself. Next Friday is my husband's last day of school. Out for the summer, home every day, never leaving (unless I drive him). My private quiet time days are going to be gone, replaced with a husband who has no hobbies (unless you count watching sports on TV). I'll miss my quiet times, but I'm not sure I really deserve them if I can't figure out how I'm using them.

One thing that did take some time today will help me get one of my projects finished up. When I put backings on quilts, I've always used sheets. I made several kids' quilt tops a little while back, but wanted to put some brighter backings on them instead of the basic sheet colors I usually use. So I found a great deal (less than $15 for over 35 yards) on some solid colored fabrics on ebay a couple weeks back. They arrived today (there goes the downsizing) and I have them all nicely folded, ready to pick from so I can finish up these tops and get them out the door.

I just need to have something finished. Maybe then I can feel good about where my day has gone. Because right now I don't.

Exercise update: 23 for 23.

Day 68 of 365

When we moved into this house, we went from a rental that had less than 900 square feet to our own home with 2000 square feet. It was the first house we'd ever owned after many years of renting.

In the past 12 years in this house we've proceeded to fill up every empty room, every empty wall, every empty corner. Furniture, pictures, books and magazines, and wall quilts. A couple of rooms are especially bad. The bedroom and the kitchen.

For some reason (which I don't remember now), we decided when we moved here we wanted a cabin-themed bedroom. So all the furniture is dark wood, the walls are green, the bedspread is woodsy, and the walls are covered with pictures, signs, and cabin decor. Moose, bears, trees - anything that could resemble the mountains. But last year as I spent torturous hours and hours in bed with my leg strapped in the CPM machine (a machine that forces your knee to bend after replacement surgery), I had nothing to do but stare at the walls and ceiling. And I started to have a strong dislike for the bedroom decor. I wanted it simpler, more peaceful. Even after I was up and about out of the machine and spent fewer hours in the bedroom, I realized I was just plain tired of all the junk in there.

A spa theme might be more relaxing. Some blue, some brown, and minimalist decorations. So when I was at my daughter's recouping from the shoulder surgery, my husband took down all the cabin themed things. And the bedroom looked empty. Now I'm used to the blankness of the bedroom. I may change the wall color and come up with a different bedspread, but am not at all interested in adding anything back.

Then there's the kitchen. A watermelon-themed kitchen is what I started out with here. And I've added to it, and added, and added. Now it's time to take away. I love the look of red and white, but the watermelons are going. No more signs, decor, pictures (well, maybe one picture). And just like a few months back, it now looks blank. But I'm sure I'll get used to it. I know I have more watermelon things around, but I must have stuck them somewhere else because I can't find them today.

Maybe I can't find the rest because it's harder for me to give these things up than the bedroom things. But I'm sure I'll be glad I did (eventually).

The downsizing continues...

Exercise update: 22 for 22.

Day 67 of 365

Today is Mother's Day. But since we celebrated on Thursday when my daughter was home, today isn't Mother's Day for me.

My husband never has been one to celebrate it with me. When my daughter was young, Mother's Day often went by unnoticed. His belief is that the child should be the doing/ buying for the mother, so until my daughter got old enough and had some money, I knew not to expect the day to be anything special. I'm sure there are other men that feel the same way, but I also know there are other men who, no matter how young the child is, celebrate the day with their wives.

So today is a plain ole' day for me. My daughter did call this morning to wish me happy Mother's Day. And I called my mom. She and her good friend Nona had a wonderful - and sugar filled - time eating the treats I sent her way. She even sent me a picture of the remains of their feast and I'm posting it here today. (Although when I spoke to her this morning, she let me know the goodies have now all been devoured.)

In looking for my picture for today, I decided on a single red rose. We don't have any of our roses blooming yet, but the new climbing rose we planted this week is blooming.

So for all the moms out there, here's a rose and a wish for a Happy Mother's Day!

And to my mom, Happy Mother's Day. Here's her picture of the leftovers (what little there is) for all to see! (Remember what it looked like on Day 65?)

Exercise update: 21 for 21. That's 3 weeks straight!

Day 66 of 365

What a day today was.

Our poor kitty. She didn't come in last night. Lately she's been staying inside when we're inside and going outside when we go outside. She was out with us yesterday, but wasn't around when we went back in. She doesn't wander too far, so we figured she'd show up again at some point. By night time, she still hadn't popped up. Sometimes she finds a good sleeping spot and stays there so we still weren't too worried. Early this morning she was at the door and hubby let her in. I didn't see her until I got up and noticed she was covered in mud and leaves. And she had a bit of a limp. (I guess hubby missed this?) I cleaned her up, she ate and drank a bit and then headed downstairs to sleep. I checked on her and she seems fine except she's still favoring one leg over the other. There's been a tomcat around the last couple nights, so I have a feeling she might have tussled with him (she's fixed though). I'll be keeping a close eye on her. She doesn't appear to be in pain, but maybe a vet trip is in the very near future.

Then we spent a couple hours trying to get our irrigation pump working. Now that the garden is planted and we only have water in the ditch Thursday-Sunday it's important we get it going. We put in a new sprinkler system last year, but this year it's not wanting to start up. Finally hubby got it going for a few minutes, but then it went out again. We may need to be making an (expensive) call to the sprinkler guy.

When we gave up on the sprinklers, I went to check out the strawberry bed. There are blooms! But there are also weeds. Too many for that pretty bed. I may be out tackling those in the next few days.

After looking at the strawberry bed, I noticed our clematis needed to be tucked in the trellis a bit better. As I was grabbing vines and moving them around (unfortunately without my gloves), I felt quite the sharp pain in my finger. I moved it away fast, but not before I got stung /bit. Not sure if it was a wasp or a spider, but my finger throbbed, swelled up, and turned red. I immediately took some Benadryl (since I tend to have issues with wasp stings), but my finger is on fire and is swelled up like a sausage as I type this.

So I took a picture of my pretty purple violets blooming under my soon-to-be-blooming roses and called it a day. No more outside play for me today. Guess today's Kentucky Derby and NASCAR will be how I'll spend my afternoon.

Exercise update: Despite the sausage finger and Benadryl daze, I managed to make it 20 days out of 20. I've worked too hard at this exercise streak to break it now.

Day 65 of 365

My mom received her Mother's Day present in the mail today so I can let the cat out of the bag.

My mom lives in another state right now. She's moved several times over the last few years, downsizing each time she moved. Sometimes kicking and screaming at the downsizing, but getting rid of things nonetheless. Several years ago when I was visiting I helped her purge items that she had a hard time letting go of. Things like a dried bean collage I made when I was 8 or so.

I felt like one of those professional organizers you see on Hoarders. If you've seen the show, you know how difficult the decision is for some people to get rid of old newspapers, pizza boxes, or busted shoes. Now my mom isn't a hoarder, but she did struggle with getting rid of things that held sentimental value. Things like old bean collages. (She did finally toss it out.)

As she's moved multiple more times over the past several years, I think it's gotten easier for her to get rid of things. Most recently she moved back to California where she was born, raised, and lived most of her life.

She lives near a dear friend, and they both are faithful readers of my blog. And when my mom calls me every week or so, she talks about the pictures, the food, and the creations.

So as I was searching for what to give to my mom for Mother's Day, I came up with what I thought to be a pretty darn good gift.

I sent her a large box, priority mail. A box full of those things she's talked about and commented on. I sent it Wednesday afternoon, and she received it on Friday. Way to go US Postal Service!

She was headed out to her friends' house when the package showed up. I imagine right now the two of them are on a sugar high!

She received:
A pincushion (Day 1)
Blueberry Muffins (Day 19)
Rosemary Bread (Day 33)
A Potholder (Day 34)
Dick and Jane Magnets (Day 41)
Mimi's Cafe Carrot Bread (Day 62)
Sugar Cookies (Day 63)

Happy (early) Mother's Day, Mom! 

Exercise update: 19 for 19

Day 64 of 365

Thursdays are usually pretty rough for me but today was a full, productive day.

• The plumber came and put in my new kitchen faucet from Day 56 and fixed our leaky toilets and showers. Now maybe our water bill will go back down.
• We had a high school kid come and do some yard work for us this afternoon. He's a keeper so we'll have him back again and again.
• My daughter got our new climbing roses from Day 62 planted. Red roses on a white arbor for the entrance to our rose garden.
• I finally (yes, finally) started on the quilt that I fought putting in the frame way back on Day 38. Better late than never.
• I rode the exercise bike for the 18th straight day. Yay!
• We celebrated Mother's Day today. My daughter heads home tomorrow and works through the weekend so we had a Mother's Day dinner tonight. We had barbecued steak, corn on the cob, baked potatoes, and grilled garlic bread. Yum! 
• My daughter helped me (or I should say I helped her) finish up planting our garden. Corn, tomatoes, cucumbers, radishes, broccoli, cabbage, bell peppers, hot peppers, red potatoes, russet potatoes, kohlrabi, carrots, spinach, arugula, zucchini, cantaloupe, watermelon, kale, rosemary, basil, Italian parsley, and pumpkins. It's not pretty right now, but it will be soon.

Day 63 of 365

 I sure miss my daughter.

I didn't really notice until she came home yesterday. She lives in the big city (big for Idaho) and has a job, an apartment, and a boyfriend. She calls me every day, but since I don't get out much I don't see her much. She comes home ever so often to visit but mostly she comes home to help out.

But that's not why I miss her most. During the week, my conversations with people are nil. I say goodbye to my husband at 6:30 in the morning and go pick him up from school at 4:00 or so. My daughter calls in the evenings. In between the time my husband leaves and the time I see him again, I talk to no one (unless you count the cat). I don't leave the house but once every couple weeks for shopping and even then I can almost get through the day without speaking to anyone.

So when my daughter came home yesterday and helped me bake, we talked and talked and talked. I mostly listened, but I did get a few words in here and there. And it made me realize how much I miss her being around. When I lived with her the first two months of this year as I recovered from shoulder surgery I don't think we talked as much. I think this time home she was glad to be here, glad to hang out, glad to see her kitty. She wasn't always glad to be here. We certainly had teenage troubles, but that seems like so long ago.

We did do some more baking beside the carrot raisin bread yesterday. I had to make some sugar cookies for someone. Unfortunately we kept - and ate - the rejects.

So now this is the absolutely, positively, last time I will bake.  Sugar and flour, be gone!

Exercise update: 17 for 17.

Day 62 of 365

I tried hard for today to be another Sale-A-Bration day like on Day 40.  But it wasn't meant to be. The bad luck at my first stop kind of clouded my day.

This extreme couponing that's getting all the press is hurting those of us who use coupons not in an extreme way. The word is out that one of the gals portrayed on the show committed fraud with her coupon usage, using coupons for items she did not purchase. The show also portrays people nonchalantly clearing shelves with no concern for subsequent shoppers. More and more often, I see people with multiple items in the stores. Not just three or four items of the same items, but 30 or 40 of the same item. 

I started my trip off at Albertsons to use some double coupons. I would have walked away with free pizzas, but the shelves were bare. No sale pizzas anywhere to be found. Sounded like coupon use at that store had increased quite a bit. So I got a raincheck (won't help too much since today is the last day for double coupons) and only came away with free Yakisoba noodles and a 69 cent can of enchilada sauce. If I really cared that much about pizzas, I imagine I would have showed up first thing Sunday morning. Oh, well. Maybe next time.  

I returned my bathroom faucets from Day 56 (so I guess I made money there - except I then turned around and bought two climbing roses), and had to pick up my Enbrel injections (got those free because of the prescription assistance so I didn't have to pay $2037.09).

Target wasn't too bad. Before the coupons, the price was $25.95 After coupons, the price was $12.66. I paid with a $10 rebate card I received earlier in the week so the total cash out of pocket was $2.66.

Shopping wasn't my only activity today. My mom has been telling me about this Mimi's Cafe Carrot bread. I've never even heard of Mimi's Cafe, but I guess they're all over the place. Their rich dark carrot bread is supposedly unbelievable rich and delicious. I checked around on the internet and found a recipe here on how to make it. Even though I said no more baking so we can cut back on the sweets, I decided to try it. For those of you who have had this bread before, is it typically this dark?

Rich? Oh, yea. And full of carrots, raisins, and nuts. We certainly won't be eating all of it ourselves.

Exercise update: 16 for 16.

Day 61 of 365

I realized I've just about finished up two months of this journey so far. My, how time passes. I can't even imagine where I'll be two more months from now!

Two months ago:

*I didn't know if I'd have a job to go back to or not. Still don't.
*I was still going to physical therapy several times a week. Now, I do it at home.
*I was thankful that on some days I could do things for others, like sending out coupons and taking cookies to folks. Now I still do that, but have added pillowcases, quilts, and even concert tickets.
*I hadn't started injections for rheumatoid arthritis. Now I give myself shots every week.
*I didn't know why on certain days I felt worse than others. Now I do (it's a medication issue).
*It hadn't even occurred to me that I should be exercising every day. Now I do - every day - 15 out of 15 today!
*I couldn't raise my arms above my head or bend my knee all the way. Now, thanks to exercising, I've made progress on both.
*I had more bad days than good. Now, I think I just might be having more good days than bad.
*I set a goal to take a picture a day. Now I'm 61 consecutive days into it.
*I didn't know where this all was going to lead me, but hoped it would lead me back into the land of the living instead of the land of the existing. Now, I think it might be doing just that.

And today I forced myself to go outside. Doesn't feel like 70 degrees with the wind, but my phlox sure are happy.

The picture also sums up how I feel about the progress I've made so far.

Day 60 of 365

My husband forced me to go outside today.

He forces me to do a lot of things, especially when it comes to watching television. Makes me watch NASCAR with him, Boise State football, movies, and even tries to get me to watch baseball. For years, I let him have his sports. I left him alone so he could watch what he wanted to watch, when he wanted to watch it. And with me being sick for so long and our main TV being in the basement, it worked well for me. But he's been trying to get me down the stairs, and with me going downstairs to exercise every day, it's getting easier. (And I actually like NASCAR now.)

Usually when he forces me to to do something it's in my best interest. Like making me go outside today. It was a sunny day and being in the sun is always a good thing. It was cold so I bundled up and was dragged out there to sit in the sun. I'm glad he made me go because it gave me a chance to take a little walk around the house and check out the gardens.

We have several gardens. We have a flower bed under our front window. We have the vegetable garden we're starting. We have a wildflower garden that's turning into a perennial garden. We have a shade garden. And our biggest garden is our rose garden. So we certainly have lots of flowers.

Very few of them are blooming right now. Some of them have been a little nipped with the recent weather, but most of my Bleeding Hearts made it through fine. And thanks to my husband forcing me outside, I got to see them today.

Exercise update: 14 for 14.

Day 59 of 365

Well yesterday was an exciting day with the weather. The snow, then the rain, then the cold wind. Now today it is sunny and cold, but they're predicting 70 degrees by Monday.

70 degrees. From snow on Friday to 70 on Monday. We haven't even had 70 degrees yet this year.

But my snowy tulip picture had its own excitement yesterday. Along with being on the Boise NBC station at noon, it also showed up on the 5:00 News, and the 6:00 News, and the 10:00 News. When I posted the picture I didn't use my name, so in all cases I wasn't credited. But that's even better for me. As I'm looking to get myself out of my what is wrong with me and why doesn't the pain get any better hole, anything I can do and share with others - without receiving credit - works in my favor.

Actually, I've always liked the behind-the-scenes kind of work.

Even though I've taught kids and adults, done trainings for a large textbook company, and done consulting in school districts, my favorite type of work is the kind where I don't have to present, teach, or be the one with all the answers. I'd much rather create the PowerPoint presentation as opposed to presenting it. Writing the grant instead of implementing it. Making the quilt, not going to the hospital to deliver it.

Someone that I mailed some of my fabric pieces to recently apologized for not thanking me when she received them. My response was, "I don't do these things to get a thank you. I just do it because it's a nice thing to do."

I'm not sure I've always held that belief. My career used to be my life. I defined myself by it. I worked way too hard, devoted too many hours, and invested too much of myself in what I did (instead of who I was), and spent most of the last 17 years under constant pressure and stress (some of which was self-inflicted) . I wasn't appreciative of what I had or of the people around me - I was too busy doing it all.

But now that I have time to breathe (and to heal), I know the way I need to live my life has changed. No more fast tracks (which got me nowhere). The need to be on top, to be the best, to be perfect, is slowly starting to fade. And that's fine with me.

Years ago I purchased a book about reinventing yourself. I started reading it again the other day and have realized how far I've come. I used to have dreams of what I wanted my life to be but was too busy working to follow them.

But now, even with the medical issues, I've moved forward on some of those dreams. I wanted to:
*Get healthy. (My food issues aren't solved, but I am still exercising. 13 days in a row!)
*Write everyday (59 days on this blog so far).
*Be able to give to others. (Lots of that going on.)
*Learn how to appreciate what I have. (Downsizing will help with that.)
*Work in the garden each day. (Still too cold, but I'll get there.)

Which leads me back to the tulips. They didn't quite make it unscathed from the snow, but their transformation from yesterday is quite remarkable. I can only hope my transformation will be just as great.

Day 58 of 365

I continued my downsizing today.

I organized my linen closet and realized I had too many towels. I've been keeping them just in case. In case we go swimming (which we don't), in case we have guests (we don't), in case we want to lie in the sun in the grass (which we don't), in case something floods (not yet, knock on wood). I have handtowels, bath towels, bath sheets, beach towels, and towels that my daughter left. Some of the beach towels are over 20 years old and have only been used a few times. I have towels hanging in the bathrooms for decoration. They've never been used for anything but for decoration.

So here's the plan. We love our bath sheets so we have to keep them. A couple of our decoration towels are also bath sheets so they're going in the to-use mix. We only have a couple hand towels and bath towels, so those stay and will be the ones my daughter can use. We'll keep one beach towel. Everything else goes. Most all of the towels are in great shape (being that we rarely used them), so they'll go in the donation box. The couple towels that are raggedy will go in the car washing bucket. (Although I might rethink that one since we rarely wash the car at home, but you never know.)

I also was rethinking the new faucet issue. I wrestled with all the choices at the home improvement store on Wednesday. Even though I complained about all the choices, I wound up getting a new kitchen faucet and two new bathroom faucets. Our kitchen faucet has to be replaced because of the non-fixable drip. But the bathroom faucets? They are old, but still work with no drips. My new faucet choices certainly weren't the newest style or nicest ones out there, but they were newer and nicer than what we have. But - getting new faucets when I don't need them goes against my idea of downsizing and living a more simple life. So back to the store they will go.

I had to rethink one more thing today. A couple days ago when it was a warm 64 degrees, I had cut some tulips and brought them in the house. I was thinking about bringing in some more today to add to the bouquet, but had to change my mind.

It was a you've got to be kidding me kind of moment. And yes, even though it's almost May, that is snow.

And an interesting story about this picture. I posted it on our local news station's website. Imagine my surprise when I was eating lunch, watching the news at noon on TV like I always do, and my picture appeared at the top of the news hour. And appeared (twice) in a story a few minutes later.  

Exercise update: 12 for 12.

Day 57 of 365

Thursdays just aren't good days for me. It takes everything I have just to get out of bed. I'm slow, I'm tired, I don't feel well. As I look back on my Thursday posts at what I've written (and what I've left out), there's been a pattern. A pattern of feeling icky.

I've been so hard on myself on these Thursdays thinking it was a lack of motivation on my part. But as I think about it more - and notice that my worst days of the week wind up being the same couple days - I'm pretty sure it's a medication issue.

I take my Methotrexate (that's the chemotherapy drug) on Wednesday nights. And on Thursdays I feel horrible.

It's sad that I take all these meds and don't know all the side effects. So upon further research, I found out that some of the common Methotrexate side effects are: Chills and fever; dizziness; flushing; general body discomfort; hair loss; headache; itching; lowered resistance to infection; nausea; sensitivity to sunlight; sore throat; speech impairment; stomach pain; unusual tiredness.

Hmm, a connection maybe?

I don't like being sick and don't like excuses. I want to be productive, move forward in my "process" (whatever that means) and make sure each day counts. But some days -  like today - feel like they aren't going to count.

So I did what I do when I just can't function. I organize something sitting down.

Today I organized my fabric closet. Something I don't have to think about, just do. I love the way it looks, and it gave me a chance to go through things in there and get rid of some things I just don't love anymore. (Although I do believe I will use up all my fabric and won't have to make the tough decision to get rid of it.)

I'm sending off some quilt blocks as a Pay It Forward and have a box of other things for donation.

The downsizing has begun.

And an exercise update: Hard to do, but I'm 11 for 11. 

Day 56 of 365

I think the problem with so many people (us included) having too many things might have something to do with too many choices. Too many choices make things more complicated.

Like TV shows. Even though I might make a comment about a TV show here or there, I'm not a big TV watcher. Very rarely do I sit down and watch. I have it on in the kitchen at breakfast and lunch, and when I'm sewing I have the TV on. Some days I spend several hours sewing, so I have several hours of programming I'm listening to.

But it's bits and pieces of programs. In a week, I might have seen parts of retro shows like Marcus Welby, Emergency, All in the Family, or the Cosby Show. Talk shows like Oprah, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, The Doctors, Regis and Kelly, Wendy Williams, The View, Maury, Watch What Happens Live. Reality shows like Real Housewives of Orange County and Real Housewives of New York City, Deadliest Catch, Extreme Couponing, Sister Wives, Hoarders, Tabatha's Salon Takeover, Intervention, Millionaire Matchmaker, Heavy, Relapse, American Chopper, Bethenny Ever After, Swamp People. Comedies like The Office and Everybody Loves Raymond. The Local and National News. Court shows like Divorce Court and Judge Joe Brown. Food shows like Paula Deen, Diners Drive Ins and Dives, Cupcake Wars, Man v. Food, Anthony Bourdain, Iron Chef America.

But like anyone else who has cable and has multiple channels, it's like nothing is on. But in reality, too much is on. Can't stay with one show because there might be another one on another channel that might be better.

Just like the stuff that occupies our houses. We have a toaster, but see one we like better. We don't need a new set of dishes, but these would be good for summer entertaining. And that lamp is on sale. Might as well get that, too. We clutter our houses with the next best and brightest thing.

At what point are we satisfied? And at what point do we stop buying and start purging? And why are there so many darned choices?

Like faucets, too. We've had a leaky faucet in our kitchen for quite some time. A few weeks back when our daughter was home, we had her help us gut out the faucet and replace the inner workings. Thirty bucks later, our faucet still dripped. So today I decided to take some of our gambling winnings from back on Day 22 to buy a new kitchen faucet. Not top of the line, just something similar to what we had.  And since we were going to have to call the plumber to have it put in, we figured we might as well replace two of our old, outdated bathroom faucets. Again, didn't want top of the line, just something that will look decent.

But the home improvement store didn't exactly make it easy to make a choice. An entire row - from one end to the other - just of faucets. They were nice and all, but do we really need all those choices?

And an exercise update: 10 for 10. I've been doing the exercise bike each day and alternating shoulder days. Don't dread it as much as I did the first couple days. But I'm sure I'll hit a wall at some point.

Day 55 of 365

I've been thinking about downsizing lately. Yes, our house is too big for us now, but it's more than that.

I've been reading about these people who try and cut down their possessions to 100 items per person. People like Kelly at My Simple Walk. I've wondered if that's something feasible for us. Not necessarily cut it to 100, but cut it down drastically.

Over the course of our marriage, we have accumulated more than we need. Really, how many towels, plastic containers, or pairs of socks do two people need?

We've never been about keeping up with the Joneses, though. We've always been a one car family and we went years before we got the internet. Even more years before we bought a cell phone, and only in the last couple years have we even gotten debit cards, and just last year our first new TV in 20 years.

But still we have more than 100 items just in one room. More than 100 books, for sure. More than 100 pieces of clothing each. My husband probably has close to 100 ties. I certainly have more than 100 cookie cutters and more than 100 yards of fabric.

If we really think about it, we don't need most of what we have. When we traveled cross-country tent camping along the way, we didn't use half of what we took. And we didn't take a lot. So I know we can live on less. So the question becomes, if we truly want to cut down our possessions, what could we permanently get rid of?

As much as I love some of my things, if I had to I could part with:
*My salt and pepper collection
*All teaching materials/books
*Fabric (hopefully I use it up before I have to make that decision)
*Most of my books - quilting and others
*Most of my clothes

Or, even more importantly, what would I keep?

At this point, my non-negotiable must-keep list includes:
*My sewing basket
*Photos - either the photo albums, or all the pictures on CDs, or some option
*My wedding ring
*A laptop computer
*One lamp
*Both our recliners
*Two plates, bowls, cups, forks, spoons, and one knife
*Bed and one set of bedding
*Table and two chairs
*KitchenAid mixer (but if I gave up baking, maybe it could go?)
*Three pair of shoes each
*One hammer, screwdriver, drill, and wrench

It may be a trend or the "in thing" to downsize or live a simpler lifestyle, but it's something I'm considering doing. It wouldn't hurt us to move toward fewer items.

I'm glad the gardens don't count. My favorite tulips are blooming, and I would certainly miss them if I didn't get them in the spring. Anyway, isn't nature part of a simpler lifestyle?

And an exercise update: 9 for 9.

Day 54 of 365

I've been having a lot of bad dreams lately. Every single night. Several a night. And almost every one is about the same thing.

School.

Consciously I'm thinking about school every few days or so, but subconsciously I must be really worried. It makes sense.

It was close to a year ago when I asked for a year's leave of absence. I had missed a lot of work during the year because of my back and I was still on sick leave from my knee replacement. I was spending 2 1/2 hours a day at physical therapy with a knee session and then a back session. But such problems with the back. For many months I had been taking several pain pills a day, had multiple injections in my spine, and had eight months of therapy - all with no improvement. "Maximum medical improvement" is what the doctor called it. It'll never get better. And taking that many pills, in that much pain, and still trying to function at work was, well, miserable. Impossible.

Looking back, I should have asked for a leave of absence earlier. At this time last year I was both mentally and physically broken.  I didn't know if I was going to make it through another day, let alone make it through another day of work. So I asked for a leave of absence for a year, and off I went with no paycheck, no unemployment, no employer provided health insurance, hoping that by taking better care of my back - and myself - I would be raring to go when the year was up.

It hasn't quite worked out that way. I spent most of this year off healing from my two shoulder surgeries. And trying to get a better hold on this rheumatoid arthritis. And still trying to heal the back.

I have made progress on the back. I'm still in as much pain as before, but I now know what I can and can't do. What makes it worse (most common everyday things that involve standing or bending) and what makes it better (my good old lift chair). But the biggest change in the back situation is that I am now completely off the pain medicine. Over the past year, I've slowly weaned myself off the 4-7 Vicodin a day I was taking. (What kind of doctor sends a patient out the door with that kind of prescription?)

My year long absence is about up. There might (or might not) be a job for me. No full time position for sure, but possibly a part time position. But maybe not even that. With the continued budget cuts in our school district, my position may (or may not) be eliminated. And I think that's where the bad dreams are coming in.

It's the not knowing that's the worst. I left all my things in my office last year thinking I would be returning. If I'm not going back, my stuff has to come home. I look at everything I have in the office, which is now being used for working with groups of kids. Things have been moved all over the place, but most of the furniture, binders, books, and training materials all belong to me. Bringing it home and storing it isn't a pleasant prospect. Walking away from it isn't an option either.

Although it wasn't a bad dream when I visited school today. After reading my blog about me missing my Peeps this Easter, someone had some for me. (Thanks Jan!) And the gal I gave the Elton John tickets to - she gave me some very nice gifts as a thank you - and Peeps were even included, too. (Thanks, Marcie!)

But what to do about the bad dreams? I guess just wait until I get the word and hope the dreams subside. But to box up all the stuff in this office and bring it home? And move the furniture back home? The furniture that couldn't even fit in the picture? Talk about a bad dream...

And a physical therapy/exercise update: 8 for 8.

Day 53 of 365

Now that the body had gone kaput, I don't see the sunrise as much as I used to.

I love the time just before the sun comes up in the morning. When we'd travel, we'd take off in the dark and be a hundred or so miles down the road before daybreak. Back when I walked every morning, I'd leave the house in the dark and return just before the sun came up. It made me feel like I was starting the day right. I've taken a few pictures of sunrises, and even have had some shown on a Boise TV station a few years back during their morning show.

I also have taken pictures of sunsets. Lots of sunsets. But all of those sunsets have been of the sun setting over the water. Oregon Coast, Florida Coast, Alaska, Hawaii. I enjoy the colors, the reflections off the water, and the sun as it disappears below the horizon of the oceans. Now that we've halted our travels (other than our little Spring Break mini getaway and this husband-wife weekend we're on), I don't see many sunsets either. The sun setting at our house sets over a building. Not exactly something noteworthy or special.

But on this Easter Sunday, I do have a noteworthy sunset picture from McCall. It's probably the only sunset picture I've taken that is not over water. There may not be any reflection off the water, but there sure is a reflection off the sky.

I've never quite seen a sunset like this one. I'm not sure what accounts for the shine in the sky, but it was spectacular.

Happy Easter to all.

  
And a physical therapy/exercise update: 7 for 7.

Day 52 of 365

It's not like I don't like exercising. I used to walk 2-3 miles each and every day and even did some 5K walks. But as my body got worse, the pain got more intense, and the walking became too much for me. And even now with the exercise bike, the knee pain is pretty bad.

But for the last couple days, I've done an exercise that is my favorite of favorites. Something I've done since I was a little kid, something I wish I could do every day of my life. Something that makes my body not hurt so much when I'm doing it. Something I look forward to, not dread (like I do those stupid shoulder exercises).

That would be swimming.

I learned to swim when I was about six or so in the backyard pool. My recollection was that my mom was teaching me to swim and I couldn't get the hang of it. But one day I said a bad word and got my mouth washed out with soap. And the next day I could swim. (Whether that really happened or not I don't know, but that's what I remember.)

I spent most of my childhood years going to school in California, where junior highs and high schools had swimming pools. So every spring in PE we had swimming. Once I started in junior high I realized how much I didn't know about swimming. And about swimming underwater, and diving from the side, and diving from the board. I learned a lot then, but I don't use most of it now.

I'm not big on going underwater anymore. Don't know why, I just don't like it. I spend my time kicking, and floating, and treading water, and swimming above water, and doing water exercises. Just keep moving in the water has become my motto.

But the best part is the joints. The buoyancy I have in the water and the lack of pressure on the knees/back/shoulders/elbows/hips/ankles is amazing. It's probably as close as I'll ever come to being pain free when moving.

We've often thought of putting in a pool, but being in Idaho it wouldn't get year round use. My husband has also talked about a jacuzzi, but I couldn't exactly swim and get myself moving around too much in a jacuzzi. If I could get over my embarrassment of being in a swimsuit I probably would drive the 15 miles to the YMCA to swim, but I'm not sure that will happen. I've wished we lived in Arizona where I could step out every single day from my back door into a swimming pool. Don't know if that'll ever happen, either.

The hotel we're staying in right now has a nice big pool, and being the off season, the place is empty and I can swim and swim and swim. Thank goodness for the pool, because usually when we come to McCall in the summers we swim in the lake.

That's something I'm certain won't be happening anytime soon.

And a physical therapy/exercise update: 6 for 6.

Day 51 of 365

This weekend has been girls weekend for the last 10 years or so. But not this year.

Every year my daughter and I have gone away for a girls weekend. We always take three days in April to go on a mini vacation, just the two of us. We've gone to Portland and California, but mostly we go to Sun Valley. We walk around the grounds of the resort, watch some ice skating, and hit the yard sales. There's nothing like going to a yard sale at a multi-million dollar home. We've gotten high quality items at cheap prices and have enjoyed peeking into lives we'll never have. The Gold Mine thrift store in Ketchum has been another not-to-be missed stopped. The things rich people donate!

But this year there will be no Sun Valley, no ice skating, no yard sales. My daughter has to work this weekend and besides, she says, we've already spent enough time together this year. She's probably right on that one - I did live at her apartment with her for two months when I was recovering from my latest surgery.

Not all is lost, though. The school districts in our state took a hard hit last year with budget cuts and most schools have had teachers on furlough days this year. It just so happens that today is a furlough day for my husband. So for the first time we're having a husband-wife weekend. I shouldn't admit this, but I could count on one hand the number of times we've been away together - alone - in the past 26 years of marriage.

This is our first "official" weekend and we've decided to head to the mountains for some rest, relaxation, and writing. (Not that I need rest and relaxation - I get plenty of that at home when he's at work!)

McCall, Idaho is our home for the next few days. Snowy, cold, it's-still-winter-here, McCall. But such a beautiful drive!

And a physical therapy/exercise update: 5 for 5!