Thursday, April 28, 2011

Day 57 of 365

Thursdays just aren't good days for me. It takes everything I have just to get out of bed. I'm slow, I'm tired, I don't feel well. As I look back on my Thursday posts at what I've written (and what I've left out), there's been a pattern. A pattern of feeling icky.

I've been so hard on myself on these Thursdays thinking it was a lack of motivation on my part. But as I think about it more - and notice that my worst days of the week wind up being the same couple days - I'm pretty sure it's a medication issue.

I take my Methotrexate (that's the chemotherapy drug) on Wednesday nights. And on Thursdays I feel horrible.

It's sad that I take all these meds and don't know all the side effects. So upon further research, I found out that some of the common Methotrexate side effects are: Chills and fever; dizziness; flushing; general body discomfort; hair loss; headache; itching; lowered resistance to infection; nausea; sensitivity to sunlight; sore throat; speech impairment; stomach pain; unusual tiredness.

Hmm, a connection maybe?

I don't like being sick and don't like excuses. I want to be productive, move forward in my "process" (whatever that means) and make sure each day counts. But some days -  like today - feel like they aren't going to count.

So I did what I do when I just can't function. I organize something sitting down.

Today I organized my fabric closet. Something I don't have to think about, just do. I love the way it looks, and it gave me a chance to go through things in there and get rid of some things I just don't love anymore. (Although I do believe I will use up all my fabric and won't have to make the tough decision to get rid of it.)

I'm sending off some quilt blocks as a Pay It Forward and have a box of other things for donation.

The downsizing has begun.

And an exercise update: Hard to do, but I'm 11 for 11.