Day 715

Hope everyone is having a good Valentine's Day. Kinda of a bummer here being sick - the best we can do is a frozen pizza.

There was a little highlight in my day. Fish and duck related fabric I won the other day on ebay arrived. It'll be a good fit for quilts for those little boys who live in Alaska with dads stationed far away from home.

Day 703

I got my ego bruised today.

We sat there in those metal folding chairs when the Marsing Disaster Auction started at 10:13 AM, waiting patiently for my quilt to show up. All day long quilts came and went for large amounts of money and it was just torture when mine didn't appear until the end. One of the very last items to auction off, at a time when most people had either left for the day, were tired, or were out of money. At a time when the auctioneers were trying to get things wrapped up for the day.

That's when the ego bruising happened.

The quilt I made this year for the auction, the one bigger and more colorful than my offering last year didn't go for much. 80 measly dollars. Ouch. In my head I knew it was no reflection on me or my quilting skills. But in my heart? Again, ouch.

After a bit of a nap when we got home, all is okay. The community got $80 that it wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

Goodbye, sweet quilt. I'm sorry I didn't buy you back myself.

Day 685

This notice is to inform you that the request for benefits (for infusions) has been denied based upon our review of the information provided by (your doctor).

I thought the third time might be the charm. The insurance company would take pity on me, look at my lengthy medical records and my even lengthier list of medications taken over the course of the past few years, and render a favorable decision. No such luck. Three pre-approvals submitted, three denied.

Whatever.

I'm just gonna keep on keepin' on. Steroids are helping with the pain, but are coming with a whole slew of side effects. Again, whatever.

At least they help me enough to spend lots of time quilting. The local bank collects and displays quilts donated for the Marsing Disaster Auction, so if you happen to be in Marsing anytime before February 2, stop by and take a look at this big (56" x 56") beauty. Done by me. (Still not thrilled about the orange, but from afar it looks pretty darn good.)

Day 683

Kickin' my behind is what the chemotherapy drugs are doing. Last time around they knocked me down and out and this time isn't any different.

Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday-Saturday I feel great (thanks, steroids!). I take the chemo stuff on Saturday, and wind up having a sucky Sunday and Monday. The pattern has already re-established itself.

Today I had my heart set on finishing the Disaster Auction quilt and even had the entire day to finish it. I'd work for a little while, then get too tired to do anything but sit in my recliner. And wouldn't you know it, every time I sat in my recliner today I fell asleep? Three, four, (or was it five?) different times. Sleep, back to quilting, sleep, back to quilting. Again and again and again.

I'm certain I'll be able to finish the quilt this week, but as for tonight a picture of a partly-finished quilt will have to do.

Day 681

When I walked in the sewing room today my only thought was, "Seriously?"

Is it really necessary for you to be sleeping on top of the Disaster Auction quilt?! 

Day 679

Making good progress on the quilt for the Disaster Auction. I'm not so sure about the center block color I chose but I think once it all comes together it'll be fine. I hope.

Day 656

That's it for the charity quilts for 2012.

22 charity quilts for the year. This one here is headed to Alaska's Operation Kid Comfort.

Day 655

I've decided I like lounging in my PJs on a Sunday. (Guess Pajama Boy is rubbing off on me.)

I guess it isn't exactly lounging if I finish a kid's quilt - complete with quilting. I even took the time to quilt around the designs on the middle piece. Just look how one of the trees came out - proof that my quilting is slowing improving.

This is another one of those Alaska Operation Kid Comfort ones.

Day 649

I think hubby was hoping I hadn't already taken today's picture. I think he was hoping I would take a picture of the sock he darned, but I didn't.

I went with the fabric choices for the next kid's quilt. Certainly much prettier than a darned sock.

Day 648

A six year old boy who lives in Alaska. Has a dad in the Army, stationed away from home for the holidays. A dad who, when home, goes fishing with his son.

It looks like that six year old boy will be getting a quilt with pictures of dad - and fish - before Christmas morning.

One of two quilt tops for the Alaska branch of Operation Kid Comfort ready to be quilted.

Day 620

I got a kick out of my husband last night. The football fanatic was watching Marsing High School play in the state playoff game on the Internet, listening to Boise State play Hawaii on the radio, and watching Notre Dame play on the TV.

All at the same time!

I began to make fun of him but didn't get too far. He reminded me that I'm not any different when I get in my sewing room.

Who in their right mind makes three quilts at once? Guess that would be me. All three are ready to head out to Alaska this week.

Day 611

Lab work is back.

After several weeks of hubby's kidney tests improving, these most recent results are heading in the wrong direction. Blah.

And after multiple blood tests from my doctor's appointment this week, two things of note. First, my inflammation number is sky-high. Higher than it has ever been in my life, so no wonder I've been hurting. Secondly, of all the numerous things they were checking for no fewer than 10 (that's ten) came back abnormal. Just great.

While that may be sarcastic, what is not sarcastic is how great the quilting is turning out on the kids' quilts from Day 602, Day 605, and Day 607.

I'm especially proud of the work I'm doing on the purple one from Day 607. Straight stitching, a meandering stitch, my favorite curls, a decorative stitch, and even a getting-better-all-the-time free motion flower. I love how it looks on the bright purple section of the backing. I just might be able to call myself a quilter pretty soon.

Day 607

I've purposely kept the following information out of the blog, but it's time to open up about it.

It started with an uneasy feeling and progressed into an on-edge feeling. It has continued with additional symptoms. The inability to get to sleep or stay asleep. Excessive worry. Stomach aches. Sweating. Pounding heart. Uncontrolled eating.

Turmoil, like a knot in the pit of my stomach, or in my chest or in my head. So much so I'm about ready to burst. Or maybe yell. Or maybe throw something. Or maybe cry hysterically. Like I'm going crazy.

After searching the internet for the symptoms, I'm self diagnosing myself. Anxiety disorder.

For quite some time I had been the relaxed live one-day-at-a-time person. But that changed a few weeks back. I think balancing caregiver with worker and wage earner with bill payer with housekeeper with sewing-for-charity lady with gardener with rheumatoid arthritis sufferer with _________ (fill in the blank) has gotten the best of me.

I've been trying really hard to avoid other people for fear of having an outburst. I haven't had one yet but I'm on the verge of losing it. I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday so I gotta hang in there just another couple days.

The worst part has been just that - the fear of losing it. Also the uncontrolled eating - that's not the greatest either. The only way I've been able to cope is to hide. Hide in the sewing room and try and keep as busy as I can.

The first version of this next quilt top was a little off. I contemplated taking all the borders off but decided against it. The second version looks a little bit better with the addition of some appliques on the corner. Sure hope the little gal likes purple.

Day 605

Another day, another quilt top put together for a little guy with a dad in the Air Force.

Day 602

Every two weeks we are reminded how blessed we are for the way things are turning out.

Every two weeks hubby has to go for lab tests to check kidney function. While we don't have the results back from today's test, they have been improving for the last few weeks. But that's not the biggest appreciation part.

It's being at the doctor's office itself.

The kidney specialist shares office space with the dialysis office. And the dialysis place is such a sad place. Patients who look so very ill and worn down. Caregivers who look just as bad. People who are in it for the long haul, most with no chance of ever returning to a carefree, healthy life.

That could have been us. When hubby was first diagnosed in July we were given the dialysis/never return to a normal life prognosis. Now every time we leave the doctor's office we can't believe the gift we've been given. The gift of returning health. The gift of seeing a sliver of normalcy returning to our lives. While not out of the woods yet, he has come so far.Yep, he's missing several months of work. Yep, he's lost a bunch of weight. Yep, his stamina still isn't up to par. But to think where he was - in a wheelchair, unable to walk - makes us realize how miraculous the recovery has been so far.

I wonder if we'll ever have the same look on life. It really has changed our perspective.

As does making quilts for a little boy who has a dad stationed far away from home right now.

Day 594

Stepping out the door this morning didn't give many clues to the weather ahead. While the clouds were a bit dark, the sun was shining behind them and the birds were still flying around so it couldn't be that bad.

But as I drove to work the clouds looked more menacing.

Even before my meeting finished, it hit. Heavy, pouring rain. More rain than we had all summer long.

But those pictures aren't the coolest thing about the day. Thanks to the elementary school secretary, this picture is. She stitched up some stockings for soldiers! And today I sent a package containing 202 Christmas stockings to the Stockings for Soldiers organization. Thanks, P-- for your help!

Day 589

I think today's picture is the most amazing one I've ever taken. Amazing, jaw-dropping, unbelievable, awe-inspiring, spectacular, sensational. (I better stop before I work myself into a frenzy.)

One hundred ninety five (that's 195!) Christmas stockings sewn and ready to go to Stockings for Soldiers. Once they receive them, the stockings will be personalized with the recipient's name, stuffed with goodies, then boxed and shipped to troops in the remotest regions of Afghanistan.

Okay, one more superlative. WOW!

Day 588

Hours and hours (and hours) of sewing, cutting, pinning, and clipping. An additional trip to the fabric store to buy more felt. Help from a daughter who is terrified of sewing anything.

All those things have resulted in this mess of stockings in all stages of completion. I will get them done this week and will have a much nicer, neater picture ready to post. Not today though.

Day 586

I grew up watching the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman. The superhuman strength and speed and the amazing sight and hearing of Steve Austin or Jaime Sommers was always intriguing to watch. I still remember some of the words from the intro - we can rebuild him...we have the technology...

Better...Stronger...Faster...

Now the next part I'm about to admit will probably sound pretty stupid, but here goes.

When I had my knee replaced a couple years back, my mantra was Better...Stronger...Faster... I honestly believed that (here's where it gets stupid) getting a new knee - a titanium one at that - was going to make my leg better...stronger...faster... 

Only after having the replacement did I find out that wasn't really going to happen. Less pain, yes. More flexibility, movement, and strength? Nope. Not even close. I guess the whole we can rebuild him her...we have the technology... is a bunch of malarkey.

While better...stronger...faster... doesn't apply to my body (and never will), it does apply these quilts. In the past week I've finished them all up and they're ready to head out to Quilts for Kids. Better (designs)...stronger (stitches)... faster (quilting).

Bet Jaime Sommers would be proud.

Day 580

Darn the Jackson 5.

You know how you get a song stuck in your head and it sticks with you the whole day? I have one of those songs that pops up a lot.

A B C
It's easy as, 1 2 3
As simple as, do re mi
A B C, 1 2 3

It popped up when I was taking today's pictures. I should never have said one, two, three. Done. That set off the lyrics and they have been stuck with me since.

1. Flowery quilt for a six year old girl.

2. A Thomas the Tank Engine quilt for a two year old boy who dressed as Thomas last Halloween.

3. A baseball quilt for a seven year old Boston Red Soxs fan.

It's easy as 1 2 3...

Now the only way to get that song out of my head is to replace it with another. How about the fact that these quilts are heading North to Alaska to three siblings who has a dad stationed far away.

In case you're not familiar with that song...

Way up north, (North To Alaska.)
Way up north, (North To Alaska.)
North to Alaska,
They're goin' North, the rush is on.