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Monday, June 6, 2011

Day 96 of 365

I don't know why I think I can do it all. I should be able to garden, sew, and bake all in the same week.

But the amount of time I'm taking to get myself going in the morning has to change. On any given day I might get up, go to the lift chair, have breakfast, go back to bed for a few minutes, back to the chair, then to a shower, then get dressed, then back to the chair or bed, then to the computer, then get my shoes on. It can take three or more hours for me to finally be showered, dressed, and fed. Then another hour or so before the body is warmed up enough where I can start moving to work in the garden.

I've tried to move the process up, but depending on the day - and the severity of the pain in the back and the joints - it's tough to do. Those days where I do speed it up, I wind up paying for it because I'm hurting even more. So realistically if I wake up at 7, it can be noon before I can start to do anything worthwhile.

It's not any different than a few months ago. But then I could work quietly in the house, organizing something, maybe do some less taxing work like sewing, and get by. With the garden season in full swing there isn't much less taxing work available.

So yet again I'm frustrated. Frustrated with my body, with my limitations. There is a lot I can do and a lot I am thankful for, but gardening is not becoming one of them.

I think the best remedy is to open my sewing room again. Back on Day 80 I had decided to close it for summer. But I now need it. I need to have somewhere to go and something to do on these rough mornings. Something that will get my mind off my pain and troubles. Get myself focusing on someone and something else.

I thought gardening, one of the things I love so dearly, was going to help me get moving in the right direction. I was wrong.

Back to what I know makes me feel better about myself and something I know my joints can tolerate. Sewing for others.

And perfect timing on that decision. Outside my sewing room window I spied a pair of quail in the garden.