Truthful Tuesday

“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.” ~ Criss Jami, Killosophy

Society values people who are energetic and outgoing and exciting and fun. For years I tried to be that person. I really, really tried.  Every morning gave myself a pep talk to help get introvert-self into teacher mode. Socially I committed to Christmas parties and birthday celebrations, baby showers, and weddings. Yet when the day came I would cancel. Then once my health deteriorated (has it really been 15 years?) it became downright impossible to be "on" anywhere. It was absolutely exhausting.

I even wrote about it on my blog six years ago:

It makes me sick to think about how hard it used to be. How hard it was just to get myself to work every single day. I remember the torture it was getting up, showered and dressed. I remember all too clearly the severe pain that filled my mornings. The pain so severe that I cried day after day on my way to work. The pain that stayed with me all through my work day. 

Now that I haven't been working for two full years (and haven't had to be fake), I have some clarity.

• Mornings are not for me. I remember the days of needing to take three hours to get showered, dressed, and out the door. Now I can wake up, put on some sweats, and shower once my body is ready. It still may take three hours but I decide what time I want to wake up.
• I need sunshine. Dreary, raining days are depressing. I'm slower, not motivated, and feel grumpy without sunshine. If our daughter didn't live nearby we would up and move to a warmer climate. If money was no object we would live on a cruise ship.
• I like not talking to anyone. Hubby had wanted me to take him to the movies today but changed his mind. Honestly, I was happy I didn't have to interact with anyone at the box office or concession stand today. 
• I am fearful of running into people I know when I go out. I usually go to the grocery store late at night. If I need to go to a department or discount store I go on days I know school is in session. You'll never find me out of the house on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.
• I like being alone and need personal space. With hubby home all the time I've found the best way for me to have some space is to go into the sewing room and shut the door. I put on my headphones and then do my thing. Some times I write. Some times I organize fabric. Some times I go on the internet. Some times I just sit.
• I like animals as companions. We had to put our kitty down a couple years back. Kiddo let me babysit her new puppy last year but now he's grown and doesn't need me around. In the summer I get to foster baby kitties but in the winter there are no babies around. I miss that.
• Calling attention to myself would be pretty close to the worst thing in the world. As a fat person I was invisible. When I started losing weight I was getting more attention. I hated that and think that is one reason I started eating again.  
• I have an addictive personality. I keep trading one addiction for another. Food. Work. Gambling. Alcohol. And sometimes more than one at the same time.
• I will never work in public education again. It's not for me. Enough said.
• I struggle with the disconnect between the person who I am at home and the one I am when traveling. Hubby and I have spent all of our vacation time from work - Spring Break, summertime, Thanksgiving, Christmas Break, long weekends - traveling. Now we have all the time in the world since neither of us is working, yet have not one vacation planned.  Which is unfortunate because I feel like a normal person when traveling. Not like an abhorrent introvert.
• I have a great fear of not being perfect enough. I have plenty of memories and stories and pictures from all of those years of travels. Enough to write a dozen books I'm sure, but fear of not doing it right holds me back.

I'm clearly not living up to my potential. Maybe even wasting my skills. The ultimate Tuesday truth.

Early Monday Morning

“There's a sunrise and a sunset every single day, and they're absolutely free. Don't miss so many of them.” ~ Jo Walton

I'm not usually up early enough to see the sunrise but I made it today.

Saving Money on a Sunday

Every Sunday I get a bit giddy from my savings. What do I do every Sunday?

Hang up laundry to dry. In my bathroom. Cha-ching!

Is a Cruise Right for You?

It's Cruise Ship Saturday! Today we have some questions to help you decide if a cruise is right for you.

"You can find tranquility, you can find party, you can find new friends. I'm a cruise convert." ~ Guy Fieri

Still working on the revisions for the new edition of Cruising with Confidence.
An excerpt from Chapter 1:

Several words may come to mind when thinking about a cruise: 

Fun...Adventurous...Confining...Formal...Exhilarating...Scary...Complicated...Fancy... Relaxing...Busy...Confusing...Rich...Expensive...Crowded...Intimidating...Titanic 

When discussing whether or not to take my first cruise the words with negative connotations dominated conversations. After years of cruising I now lean toward the positive sounding words. I can even say “Titanic” out loud, while on a ship, and not be afraid of jinxing things! I’ve moved from a nervous to an excited to a confident cruiser.
In deciding if a cruise is right for you, the elementary teacher in me would like to ask some questions: 

• Does your dream day consist of hanging out by a pool and working on a tan?
• Are you a dancer, a reader, a trivia lover, or a movie buff?
• Do you enjoy trying new foods? Prefer eating the same thing every day?
• Do you like conversing with other folks from different places? Long for alone time?
• Are you the type who likes being on the go?
• Would never having to make a bed, cook a meal, or wash a dish work for you?
• Do you like dressing up in fancy clothes or rather wear shorts and t-shirts all day?
• Are you looking to reconnect with family or friends?
• Does the idea of traveling to a foreign country excite you?
• Do you like the idea of getting a good value for your money? 

Answering yes to just one question could mean a cruise vacation is right for you.

Saying yes to cruising is also saying yes to beautiful sunsets at sea.

The Friday Fives

I thought I was going to be able to report on five things that I did today having to do with the number five. Didn't happen.

1. It was 50 degrees today! It felt downright warm in the sun.
2. Thanks to a coupon hubby and I had a $5 lunch today.

3. I thought I was going to be able to report I revised five chapters in the Cruising with Confidence book. Nope, but after a full week I've finished revising the 12th chapter today. Woo hoo! I have a few more edits and one more chapter to write and maybe, just maybe, the new edition to be ready before the end of the month. Again, woo hoo!

Throwback Thursday

"Take care of all your memories...For you cannot relive them." ~ Bob Dylan

The blog from five years ago today made me a bit sad. Kitty is no longer alive, the Disaster Auction quilt didn't garner as much money as I expected, and we no longer live in that house.

From January 11, 2013:
When I walked in the sewing room today my only thought was, "Seriously?"

Is it really necessary for you to be sleeping on top of the Disaster Auction quilt?! 

Cruise Ship Crew

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” ~ Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad/Roughing It

It occurred to me this week that the best connections hubby and I have are to people outside our everyday life. People who don't live in our city or state or country.

Hubby and I have spent more than half our lives in a small rural community in Idaho. Going from a town with a population of around 800 to a city with a population of over 200,000 would seem to be a huge adjustment. We've settled in nicely but have become hermit-ish. Hubby goes next door some mornings to have coffee with the neighbor and daughter calls me on her way home from work in the evenings. That's the extent of our conversations during the day/week/month.

But on a cruise ship we are different people. We talk all day long to the crew members. Cruise ship crew come from around the world. Working for very low wages by American standards, these kids (most are under 30) have become our connections. We have close relationships with people from Nicaragua, India, Mexico, Serbia, Honduras, and Peru. I've learned more from them about other countries and nationalities and politics and religions than from any history book or TV program. We truly care about their personal and work lives. They've also let us into a cruise ship world few people outside the company know about.

It's a symbiotic relationship for all of us. For hubby, it reminds him of teaching high school and the rapport with teenagers that kept him young. For me, I can be a mom. And for the crew members they get a little break from the monotony of long days spent dealing with demanding passengers. We bring them chocolates and take them to lunch in port and give out hugs. And they treat us very well in return.

We cherish every day spent with them so when we aren't traveling we keep in close contact. Just yesterday I was chatting with a crew member from Honduras. I could hear his Spanish TV in the background and we were exchanging pictures of snow (me) and no snow (him). Only a few hours later they had an earthquake hit. I heard from him today and he had no earthquake damage at his home.

The earthquake reminded me of one of the days we spent in port with this particular crew member in Mexico. A place in Mexico that is no longer accessible because of the Mexico City earthquake in September. Now the earthquake in Honduras.

I'll just focus on the good times we've had with our crew. It's what keeps us going when we're stuck at home. We can't get these kind of conversations in Boise.

Sun Over Snow

"I'm definitely much more of a beach bunny. I prefer the sun over the snow." ~ Gillian Zinser

I'm with her. Last year at this time I took a picture of us being snowed in. It looked like this:

And today I took a picture out my sewing room window and it looked like this:

Better, but not good enough.

Even better? If I could be on the beach like this:

 But I'm not. So I'll have to take a little snow over a lot of snow. Dang.

3 - 1/8 = 2 7/8

"When I'm on a break from writing, I'll log on to Amazon and eBay. The doorbell is constantly being rung by deliverymen." ~ Sophie Kinsella

Not so much for me anymore. I did go through a spell where I was buying boxes of fabric off eBay like crazy. I used to have stacks of boxes coming in and then when I got motivated to make some money had stacks of boxes going out. Thanks to my woodworking skills, I finally made myself an eBay shelf in the closet to hold those listed items.

Although I might be exaggerating my woodworking capabilities just a bit. I took one of our remaining three bookshelves and cut a section off the bottom. Now it fits nicely in the closet. And I get to brag I am down from those large 15 bookshelves to 2 7/8 bookshelves.

Sew-In Sunday: Sewing Room Organization

“Organization is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it’s not all mixed up.” ~ A.A. Milne

I thought today would be a sew-in day but I got bogged down getting the rest of the salt and pepper shakers listed on eBay. I started with over 100 and now they are just about gone. Yay me and hooray for downsizing!

So instead I went with an easier and less time consuming organizing project. The fabric stash is about the only non-downsized area I have left. While I have sold some of it, I still (probably) have more than I need. I keep moving it from one place to another, from one shelf to another, one box to another.

It still isn't perfect but it looks so pretty.