Day 915

So I guess I didn't think this Facebook thing through all the way. I've made sure not to have ads (with the exception of my book) on the blog. If Facebook means I have to have ads on it I may need to pass on it. A question for those with Facebook experience- is there a way to block them?

Speaking of advertising...did you notice a new book cover up at the top right of this page? The Living Life One Picture at a Time book? The plan is to use the first 365 days of the blog and turn it into a book. A book about surviving, inspiring, service to others. I'm not quite sure what the marketing slant will be, but it'll reflect what happened to me when I started taking a picture every day. I'm hoping to get the Kindle version up in the next month as soon as I get the tedious job of editing it out of the way.

And speaking of tedious...can you imagine how tedious grocery shop would be with these kinds of shoes on? I never take pictures of strangers but these shoes in the grocery store made an impression on me. Impressed on me to never own shoes like these. (Apologies to anyone who does.)

Day 905

I wonder which picture would win a bizarre picture contest.

A close up of a drop of water on the tablecloth at today's meeting or the infusion I had after today's meeting.

Day 903

While going to Boise for meetings isn't my favorite thing in the world, I do get a chance to spend time with my daughter. And today was a special shopping day. Me, kiddo, her fiancé, and her maid of honor. (I'm told it isn't all that unusual for fiancé to be part of this kind of shopping these days.)

Today was wedding dress shopping. Kiddo tried on several dresses, finding something good - and not so good - about each one. She's such a gorgeous girl they all looked great on her (yeah, that's a mom talking), but she easily narrowed it down to her favorite. While I'm forbidden to share her perfect choice she did give me permission to share some of other dresses she tried on.

Day 899

We love having a daughter who works at Macy's. While she doesn't get an employee discount (she'd have to have a store credit card and she stays away from those), she still knows when the good sales come on and which rack to find the best bargains. And with hubby needing new school pants and Macy's having a one day sale, today was right for a nice savings.

Just two pair of expensive pants for under forty dollars. How expensive? Take a look at how much we DIDN'T pay for them.

Day 897

It turned out better than I could ever have imagined.

Inside my arm, just above my left wrist. A constant reminder to me that despite all my health issues - all my pain, all my huffing and puffing and not being able to catch my breath, having to rely on a scooter to get around; despite the infusions and chemotherapy and all the side effects that go along with them - life is here to be lived.

And I intend to live it.

Day 896

After my meeting in Boise today I made a stop. The picture gives a big hint as to where I'll be spending some time tomorrow after my next meeting. I'm going for it!

Day 887

Sleep in.

Help hubby get his classroom ready.

Go to Chinese food.

Get groceries.

Best part of the day? My fortune.

Day 873

When I saw this sign by the gas station this morning I knew it was speaking to me. But my goal today is small. Get through my infusion. Period.

Day 858

The picture I took of the ship today in Skagway should technically have Scooter in front of it. She got me all through another Alaskan town, from one end to another, in search of goodies. That good Thai food at Starfire, quilt fabric at the Quilt Alaska store, chocolate covered gummy bears from the fudge shop, and a new t-shirt at the Alaska Shirt Company. But one of my knees isn't doing so hot so it would have been a bit too hard to get off the scooter and walk some distance to get a really good picture.

Instead it’s just a picture of our ship docked in Skagway, taken while I was sitting on Scooter. But you do get to see some of the charms I've been picking up along the way that now decorate her handlebars.

Day 844

Darn. I thought I had a great picture today. One that showed how I've been dragging, how I'm slipping back into icky-ness. Although the picture doesn't show it as much as I expected, I guess it'll do.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong. Maybe the car is telling me I should keep my chin up - otherwise by butt will look too big. (And goodness knows it doesn't need to look any bigger than it already is.)

Day 839

When you take a picture every day you have to pay attention. Pay attention to the things around you. Inside, outside, up in the sky, and down on the ground.

Thanks to looking at the ground, in the gravel, in the parking lot outside the city park, I found today's picture. I also found some little guy's (or girl's) teeny tiny lego pieces just as they left them.

Day 838

I've still been on this "suck out all the marrow of life" kick. While the combination of the rheumatoid arthritis and the lung thing did it to me, Alaska really did it to me. The freedom of the scooter, the ability to go wherever, do whatever. Makes me want to do even more. Go all out.

So perhaps that was what was in my head as we were driving down the freeway the other day when I blurted out to hubby. I think I should get a tattoo next, I say.

Neither one of us have ever had a tattoo, never even thought of getting one. But at that exact moment hubby thought it was a great idea and even knew what it should say:

Live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.

Yea. I think that's good. So when I shared with my daughter where I wanted it - somewhere where it could be seen, yet hidden - she nixed it. Too much, mom. It'll hurt there and that's not a good place for all those words. Where did I want it? Only where someone who is on the edge of busting through the marrow -someone who is teetering on the edge of wild - would think.

All over the fingers. Too bad permanent marker rubs off. Guess I gotta rethink this one.

Day 832

Can you tell where I spent my night by the looks of this picture?

Hospital. Sleep study number two.

Day 814

I don't necessarily want to admit it, but this blog is important to me. It isn't so much the blog, but the comments people post. Every day I look forward to seeing if anyone responded to my picture or what I wrote. I'm not good about posting back, but rest assured I read every single one. That might be a sign of insecurity, looking for approval/validation from others. I tell myself it isn't important - what people think - but it is.

But the comments about my photos (particularly on the flower ones) have stirred something else in me. I've been thinking about all these pictures I take. Some aren't so great, but some are pretty darn good. So scrap the whole, It's Sew Idaho thing, at least temporarily. Time to focus on the photographs. (Not like I haven't already. 814 days in a row of pictures should count for something.) But I want it to count for something bigger. So for the second time in the history of this blog, I have a new camera.

Crazy, right? This new digital camera will allow me to use my lenses I purchased ages ago when I used a film camera. Better quality, sharper images. Can't wait to show you what I'm about to do with it.

You'll have to wait just a bit more. In the meantime, take a look at the upgrade. Looks like they're in a standoff.

Day 813

(I write this with my daughter's permission.)

I wasn't all that happy when I saw my daughter's college report card.

Intro to Sociology  D
Law of Arrest Search and Seizure D
Music Appreciation  F
Environmental Science  F

But that was five years ago.

Now that daughter, the one who decided to take a semester of classes this spring, has a transcript that isn't quite the same. Maturity, time, and the working world has changed our little girl into a mature woman. How do we know? Check out her grade report for this semester of college.

Same classes

Different outcome.

Way to go Miss 4.0 kiddo! We couldn't be any prouder!

Day 807

Recently I was thinking about stopping my blog at Day 1000. I was getting tired, I felt like my pictures were getting old, my writing getting stale, my life getting boring.

But then this lung thing happened. And then I realized how much of a gift this blog has been to me. Only by looking back on my last 800 days can I truly appreciate my life. While appreciating what I've done is great and all, I'm not done living. I want to live and I want it to be big.

I know sitting with my feet up might not seem like it would contribute to living big, but knowing they're up while I'm sitting through my infusion makes it so.

Day 805

It could be one of those how many _______ does it take to change a lightbulb? kind of jokes. But it's my life and it's not funny. But it was a hoop I had to jump through to get the insurance to pay for oxygen.

How many wires attached to Deb's head, all night long, does it take to determine her breathing patterns?

A lot.

Day 800

How appropriate that on a milestone day - Day 800 - that a quote is on my mind. A quote from Thoreau, but also a line from the movie Dead's Poet Society.

"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life."

As I've been coming to terms with this new diagnosis, I've decided to have a much better attitude than I've had with the arthritis. It's not all that hard. If I can handle 10 years of constant pain, I can certainly handle this. Yes, my life will revolve around a scooter. But it is time to swallow my pride and just do it.

I'm ready to live deliberately and suck out all the marrow of life. I have some more responsibilities at work next year and am excited about it. I'm clearing things out of the house like crazy and am excited about it. I have quilts planned and new books planned and am excited about it. I have a trip planned with hubby, daughter, and boyfriend and am excited about it.

As to quote another movie line from Dead Poet's Society, carpe diem! (Which means "seize the day", but should mean "my scooter arrived today.")

Day 795

Taking close up pictures of the tulips has gotten me thinking about how much things look different close up. I could go on about how it applies to my life right now, but I will restrain myself.

But I'm not restraining from (trying) to take a close up picture of something else, my hand after painting the steps at the Boise place. Yep, I over did it but yep, they look good. (My hand? Not so pretty.)

Day 793

Let's have a lesson on lungs today. More of a lesson on the diaphragm. 

The diaphragm sits below the lungs and is the major muscle involved in breathing. It contracts and relaxes, forcing air in and out of your lungs. When you breath in, the diaphragm flattens out and lets air in your lungs. When you breathe out, it expands and forces air out of your lungs. A diaphragm also acts as a barrier between the chest cavity and abdominal cavity.

There is also a nerve that runs through your chest that makes those diaphragms work. That nerve can be damaged by a virus. That nerve damage can cause the diaphragm to be pretty much be stuck in the expanded state, pushing into the lungs permanently. No contracting in and out, no air in and out. That diaphragm can also lose its job as chest/abdominal cavity barrier and wind up carrying the liver and other abdominal organs into the lung cavity with it.

So thus is the lesson of the diaphragm. And the preliminary diagnosis from the pulmonary specialist. I have a few more tests lined up next week to confirm.

The good news? It shouldn't get worse. The bad news? It won't get better. There are some treatments, but nothing guaranteed. I've been told to do everything very slowly. Keep the walking down to a minimum, stick close to home. Even suggested a scooter to get around. Not what I had in mind.

Also what I didn't have in mind? A CT scan of my lungs that looked like this. You can see that doggone diaphragm clogging up the lungs. No wonder I can't breathe!