Day 339 of 365

Sunrise was at 8:01 this morning and not long after I was in my sewing room. Have I mentioned how much I love the sun streaming through the window in there?

With another beautiful sunny day, I couldn't resist spending the day sewing in the sunshine. Plus, I had a good reason to keep working on quilts for charity. After all, today was the community's auction and my husband was heading out at 10. Sitting in a metal folding chair for any length of time could set me back a few days so I rarely go. But finally my husband would leave the house and I would get my alone hiding-from-the-world time I had been so anxious to have. He would be gone all day and would deliver me the news about how much the quilt I made on Day 322 went for. The quilt he guilted me into making. He would come home and I'd feel good about the time I spent on it and the money my contribution raised.

No such luck.

Hubby is now past the 72 hour mark of not wearing anything but the same pair pajamas. Three full days of moping around and watching television non stop. Three full days of I don't know what.

So no news on the quilt I worked so hard on. The quilt I made sure was the kind of quality that would make him look good. Maybe it's for the best. If it only raised $25 I don't want to know about it. I don't need anything making me feel any more incompetent about anything in my life than I already do.

I do feel somewhat competent doing kids' quilts. I finished what I'm now calling Rainbow Bright.

Day 338 of 365

It makes me sick to think about how hard it used to be. How hard it was just to get myself to work every single day. I remember the torture it was getting up, showered and dressed. I remember all too clearly the severe pain that filled my mornings. The pain so severe that I cried day after day on my way to work. The pain that stayed with me all through my work day.

Looking back, I don't know how I did it. But I'm sure glad some things have changed.

This part time work is a better fit for me and my issues. There are some days where it is hard to get myself up and out the door, but there is comfort in knowing I can sit when I arrive at work. That I can throw myself into whatever I'm doing - which usually involves sitting - and keep my mind off of it. It's not like it was before when, despite how horrible it was, I was spending the entire day teaching 25 kids. There is also comfort in knowing that I have days off each week for me to regroup.

Today was the second day of my attempt at a five day escape-from-the-world plan. And the second day of it where my husband stayed home.

So I plopped myself in my sewing room and worked the whole day. The quilt top from yesterday is progressing nicely and I freshened up my little plastic drawers with some jazzy labels.