Monday, June 6, 2011

Day 96 of 365

I don't know why I think I can do it all. I should be able to garden, sew, and bake all in the same week.

But the amount of time I'm taking to get myself going in the morning has to change. On any given day I might get up, go to the lift chair, have breakfast, go back to bed for a few minutes, back to the chair, then to a shower, then get dressed, then back to the chair or bed, then to the computer, then get my shoes on. It can take three or more hours for me to finally be showered, dressed, and fed. Then another hour or so before the body is warmed up enough where I can start moving to work in the garden.

I've tried to move the process up, but depending on the day - and the severity of the pain in the back and the joints - it's tough to do. Those days where I do speed it up, I wind up paying for it because I'm hurting even more. So realistically if I wake up at 7, it can be noon before I can start to do anything worthwhile.

It's not any different than a few months ago. But then I could work quietly in the house, organizing something, maybe do some less taxing work like sewing, and get by. With the garden season in full swing there isn't much less taxing work available.

So yet again I'm frustrated. Frustrated with my body, with my limitations. There is a lot I can do and a lot I am thankful for, but gardening is not becoming one of them.

I think the best remedy is to open my sewing room again. Back on Day 80 I had decided to close it for summer. But I now need it. I need to have somewhere to go and something to do on these rough mornings. Something that will get my mind off my pain and troubles. Get myself focusing on someone and something else.

I thought gardening, one of the things I love so dearly, was going to help me get moving in the right direction. I was wrong.

Back to what I know makes me feel better about myself and something I know my joints can tolerate. Sewing for others.

And perfect timing on that decision. Outside my sewing room window I spied a pair of quail in the garden.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Day 95 of 365

Today was an I'm just plumb worn out day.

After going to Boise on Monday, birthday shopping with my daughter on Tuesday, going to school on Wednesday and Thursday, celebrating her birthday on Friday, and back to Boise on Saturday I'm just worn out.

With still fighting the flu, still fighting the icky-ness I'm feeling from the injections, having hubby home all the time, and having this busy week it just did me in. I can't remember the last time I had a week like this. I like my quiet days (that was before my husband was out for summer). It was me, the cat, and the sewing machine.

But now I have the husband, the cat, the gardens, the daughter this week, school this week, and the car I'm having to drive everywhere.

When I originally started this blog, I was hoping it would help me get back to the land of the living instead of the land of the existing. Right now I'm kinda longing for the land of the existing. I've just done too much living this week for this body to handle!

I was so tired last night I fell asleep early and didn't wake up until 6:30 this morning. I was super thirsty so I went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. And found my picture of the day. First thing. Before I even had a chance to get that drink of water.

I took a picture of the sun coming up through the clouds (it was prettier in person). Then I took my drink and went right back to bed.