Day 61 of 365

I realized I've just about finished up two months of this journey so far. My, how time passes. I can't even imagine where I'll be two more months from now!

Two months ago:

*I didn't know if I'd have a job to go back to or not. Still don't.
*I was still going to physical therapy several times a week. Now, I do it at home.
*I was thankful that on some days I could do things for others, like sending out coupons and taking cookies to folks. Now I still do that, but have added pillowcases, quilts, and even concert tickets.
*I hadn't started injections for rheumatoid arthritis. Now I give myself shots every week.
*I didn't know why on certain days I felt worse than others. Now I do (it's a medication issue).
*It hadn't even occurred to me that I should be exercising every day. Now I do - every day - 15 out of 15 today!
*I couldn't raise my arms above my head or bend my knee all the way. Now, thanks to exercising, I've made progress on both.
*I had more bad days than good. Now, I think I just might be having more good days than bad.
*I set a goal to take a picture a day. Now I'm 61 consecutive days into it.
*I didn't know where this all was going to lead me, but hoped it would lead me back into the land of the living instead of the land of the existing. Now, I think it might be doing just that.

And today I forced myself to go outside. Doesn't feel like 70 degrees with the wind, but my phlox sure are happy.

The picture also sums up how I feel about the progress I've made so far.

Day 60 of 365

My husband forced me to go outside today.

He forces me to do a lot of things, especially when it comes to watching television. Makes me watch NASCAR with him, Boise State football, movies, and even tries to get me to watch baseball. For years, I let him have his sports. I left him alone so he could watch what he wanted to watch, when he wanted to watch it. And with me being sick for so long and our main TV being in the basement, it worked well for me. But he's been trying to get me down the stairs, and with me going downstairs to exercise every day, it's getting easier. (And I actually like NASCAR now.)

Usually when he forces me to to do something it's in my best interest. Like making me go outside today. It was a sunny day and being in the sun is always a good thing. It was cold so I bundled up and was dragged out there to sit in the sun. I'm glad he made me go because it gave me a chance to take a little walk around the house and check out the gardens.

We have several gardens. We have a flower bed under our front window. We have the vegetable garden we're starting. We have a wildflower garden that's turning into a perennial garden. We have a shade garden. And our biggest garden is our rose garden. So we certainly have lots of flowers.

Very few of them are blooming right now. Some of them have been a little nipped with the recent weather, but most of my Bleeding Hearts made it through fine. And thanks to my husband forcing me outside, I got to see them today.

Exercise update: 14 for 14.

Day 59 of 365

Well yesterday was an exciting day with the weather. The snow, then the rain, then the cold wind. Now today it is sunny and cold, but they're predicting 70 degrees by Monday.

70 degrees. From snow on Friday to 70 on Monday. We haven't even had 70 degrees yet this year.

But my snowy tulip picture had its own excitement yesterday. Along with being on the Boise NBC station at noon, it also showed up on the 5:00 News, and the 6:00 News, and the 10:00 News. When I posted the picture I didn't use my name, so in all cases I wasn't credited. But that's even better for me. As I'm looking to get myself out of my what is wrong with me and why doesn't the pain get any better hole, anything I can do and share with others - without receiving credit - works in my favor.

Actually, I've always liked the behind-the-scenes kind of work.

Even though I've taught kids and adults, done trainings for a large textbook company, and done consulting in school districts, my favorite type of work is the kind where I don't have to present, teach, or be the one with all the answers. I'd much rather create the PowerPoint presentation as opposed to presenting it. Writing the grant instead of implementing it. Making the quilt, not going to the hospital to deliver it.

Someone that I mailed some of my fabric pieces to recently apologized for not thanking me when she received them. My response was, "I don't do these things to get a thank you. I just do it because it's a nice thing to do."

I'm not sure I've always held that belief. My career used to be my life. I defined myself by it. I worked way too hard, devoted too many hours, and invested too much of myself in what I did (instead of who I was), and spent most of the last 17 years under constant pressure and stress (some of which was self-inflicted) . I wasn't appreciative of what I had or of the people around me - I was too busy doing it all.

But now that I have time to breathe (and to heal), I know the way I need to live my life has changed. No more fast tracks (which got me nowhere). The need to be on top, to be the best, to be perfect, is slowly starting to fade. And that's fine with me.

Years ago I purchased a book about reinventing yourself. I started reading it again the other day and have realized how far I've come. I used to have dreams of what I wanted my life to be but was too busy working to follow them.

But now, even with the medical issues, I've moved forward on some of those dreams. I wanted to:
*Get healthy. (My food issues aren't solved, but I am still exercising. 13 days in a row!)
*Write everyday (59 days on this blog so far).
*Be able to give to others. (Lots of that going on.)
*Learn how to appreciate what I have. (Downsizing will help with that.)
*Work in the garden each day. (Still too cold, but I'll get there.)

Which leads me back to the tulips. They didn't quite make it unscathed from the snow, but their transformation from yesterday is quite remarkable. I can only hope my transformation will be just as great.

Day 58 of 365

I continued my downsizing today.

I organized my linen closet and realized I had too many towels. I've been keeping them just in case. In case we go swimming (which we don't), in case we have guests (we don't), in case we want to lie in the sun in the grass (which we don't), in case something floods (not yet, knock on wood). I have handtowels, bath towels, bath sheets, beach towels, and towels that my daughter left. Some of the beach towels are over 20 years old and have only been used a few times. I have towels hanging in the bathrooms for decoration. They've never been used for anything but for decoration.

So here's the plan. We love our bath sheets so we have to keep them. A couple of our decoration towels are also bath sheets so they're going in the to-use mix. We only have a couple hand towels and bath towels, so those stay and will be the ones my daughter can use. We'll keep one beach towel. Everything else goes. Most all of the towels are in great shape (being that we rarely used them), so they'll go in the donation box. The couple towels that are raggedy will go in the car washing bucket. (Although I might rethink that one since we rarely wash the car at home, but you never know.)

I also was rethinking the new faucet issue. I wrestled with all the choices at the home improvement store on Wednesday. Even though I complained about all the choices, I wound up getting a new kitchen faucet and two new bathroom faucets. Our kitchen faucet has to be replaced because of the non-fixable drip. But the bathroom faucets? They are old, but still work with no drips. My new faucet choices certainly weren't the newest style or nicest ones out there, but they were newer and nicer than what we have. But - getting new faucets when I don't need them goes against my idea of downsizing and living a more simple life. So back to the store they will go.

I had to rethink one more thing today. A couple days ago when it was a warm 64 degrees, I had cut some tulips and brought them in the house. I was thinking about bringing in some more today to add to the bouquet, but had to change my mind.

It was a you've got to be kidding me kind of moment. And yes, even though it's almost May, that is snow.

And an interesting story about this picture. I posted it on our local news station's website. Imagine my surprise when I was eating lunch, watching the news at noon on TV like I always do, and my picture appeared at the top of the news hour. And appeared (twice) in a story a few minutes later.  

Exercise update: 12 for 12.