No Wallowing Here

I was supposed to have my knee replacement today. I've been holding out to get the wedding behind me before I launched into the surgery and a multi-week, multi-month recovery. But they lined the surgery up at the wrong hospital. Unfortunately the rescheduled date - at the right hospital - is another two weeks out. I thought the pain was excruciating last month, but now it's excruciating-er.

To get by until the surgery date I should probably stay close to home, not move around much, and pretty much live on pain pills. If you know me you know that's not something I would do. Despite the amount of pain I'm in I don't want to live these two weeks moping and feeling sorry for myself.

Instead, with two weeks to go until surgery I'm back to sucking the marrow - and not wallowing in sorrow.

Remember the solo
Handicapped
Suck the marrow
Trains, planes, automobiles, and ship adventure I went on last month?

Sucking the marrow, not wallowing in the sorrow, started yesterday with our early morning flight to Portland and continued today with our train trip to Seattle.

Pictures were snapped along the way.
Inside the Portland Amtrak Station

Under the Tacoma Narrows Bridge

Lunch at my favorite place, Lowell's in Pike Place Market in Seattle. Ed had the tiger shrimp tacos. Spicy!

And a picture of the beautiful sunshine we had in Seattle? We were too busy sitting in the sun, watching interesting people.

NSV

NSV = Non-Scale Victory

It's a term I've noticed people use on weight loss message boards. It represents that thing that's related to weight loss but not necessarily about the scale. And I had an NSV today at 6:00 AM.

When taking my seat on the commuter jet bound for Portland this morning, I asked for a seat belt extender. It has been common practice for me to either bring my own or ask to borrow. But this morning in the few seconds between me asking for an extender and the flight attendant digging it out, I'd already taken care of the problem.

I fastened the seat belt. In this small airplane with small seats and small seat belts, I found that the standard seat belt fit around me for the first time I can remember. NSV.

As for why I'm in Portland, Oregon that's a story for another day. It may have been raining most all day, but hubby and I were able to get a super-early checkin (thank you Residence Inn) and been enjoying just relaxing in our hotel room. The rain did stop long enough for me to snap a picture of beautiful rhododendrons in bloom.

I'll Dance at your Wedding

When my husband was young and his Grandma Bates wanted him to do something for her she'd promise, "I'll dance at your wedding." So when hubby and I got married, on a shoestring budget with no DJ, no dance floor, and no dance, he and Grandma did an impromptu dance. Payment for all those times past where he did something with no payment except for a dance at his wedding.

Fast forward 30 years and it's time for our kiddo to get married. All her life when he wanted a task done and she wanted to know what she was going to get out of it, he'd reply, "I'll dance at your wedding."

And so he did. On a non-shoestring budget (thanks to us), with a DJ playing John Mayer's Daughters song, kiddo and her daddy danced. I'm violating my blog rule about no people-pictures, but it's too precious to skip.

Rose Garden

There had to be a good reason I cut rose after rose after rose in our garden today. The reason? Guess you'll have to come back to find out why. 

Triple Digits

After several days of negotiating, the soon to be married couple got themselves a new car. Pretty cute.

And after several months of small bites, I hit the triple digits. 100 pounds lost. Pretty awesome.

And to Paula O...I didn't even think about that when I was in San Francisco. Next time? There WILL be a next time. 

Good Store

Did you know there is a store called "Life is good" at the Seattle airport? Looks just like the sticker someone gave me for me scooter last year! Unfortunately the prices in the store weren't so good.

Dear Self,

Dear Self,
Sorry if I haven't seemed myself lately. I had been feeling pretty grumpy these last few weeks. The super painful knee really darkened my world and made it difficult to find the joy in each day. I was just surviving, unable to find hope or anything positive to look forward to. I worked all day, went home straight to my recliner to put my leg up, and never moved until time for bed. Even then sometimes I hurt so much I slept there in the chair, at times not even being able to get into my pajamas. Those times I did make it to bed weren't much better. Tossing and turning all night, unable to find a comfortable spot for the knee. I know things were so bad I almost canceled this trip. Almost gave up the money on the non-refundable cruise. The pain was making me lose my confidence, my power, my determination. I'm so sorry about that.

As fearful as I was of leaving the safety of my home/work routine and the support of my hubby, I knew I had to go forth. But now the
solo,
handicapped,
suck the marrow,
trains, planes, automobiles, and ships adventure is already ending. While I wasn't quite as adventurous as I had hoped (sorry about that, too, but you can blame the pain), I did go over the Golden Gate Bridge on Scooter, all by my lonesome. (That was a biggie for me.) While I certainly haven't regained my confidence and my nighttime tossing and turning didn't get any better, I can see there will be a bright future ahead. So bear with me while I get through this rough patch. I'm not exactly sure how long it'll last.

But soon it'll be time for a new focus, one that will take all my attention, all my determination, all my power, all my confidence, and all my summer. My new knee will be coming soon. But not yet.

Hanging in as best I can,
Deb

P.S.
Here are a couple pictures from today. Remember when I used to take a picture every day? Those were the days, weren't they?

Strawberry Pancakes

I love strawberry pancakes topped with whipped cream. Nothing beats them for breakfast.

Except my eating plan consists of no breads, no pastas, no sugars. It was hard at Fisherman's Wharf yesterday to pass on all the many temptations.

Ice cream shop

Kettle corn shop

Chocolate shop

Crepes shop

Sourdough bakery

Fried fish restaurant

Cupcake shop

Pretzel stand

Candy shop

You get the idea. 

I stayed away from it all. But I was thinking about those crepes. They smelled wonderful. They are probably the closest thing I'll ever get to eat that slightly resembles a pancake without straying far from my plan. 

So this morning I returned and ordered a strawberry crepe, no sugar no whipped cream, and watched them make it through the window. It sure was tasty! Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I couldn't finish it. 

I also stopped by the pier to say good morning to all the sea lions. They sure were a noisy bunch. 

Then off to catch another cruise ship for a ride back to Vancouver. 

I'm so thankful for the life I have. 

The Bridge

This trip was supposed to be all about today. As I was getting stronger, walking more, and continuing to lose weight I had set a goal. Something I had never done before. Something that would push me. Something that would make me feel like I accomplished something big.

I was going to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.

But I've been scooter-dependent these last few weeks because of the disastrous knee. I was quite sad knowing today wasn't going to happen. I resigned myself to leaving the ship this morning, stopping by Fisherman's Wharf to grab a San Francisco sticker for scooter, going straight to the hotel, and then staying there for the day.

Things were set in motion very early this morning to change that. I'm not sleeping well because of the knee. Thank goodness. If it weren't for the pain, I wouldn't have seen this sight out my cabin door before daybreak.

As I was sitting there watching as our ship passed under the Golden Gate Bridge I happened to look down at my arm. "I choose joy."

And it hit me. It's okay. While I was seeing a sight many get to see, I was seeing it from a direction - and at a spectacular time of day - that fewer get to experience. I choose joy and all is good with me whether I can walk or not.

Then somewhere between getting off the ship and my scootering over to Fisherman's Wharf I got this idea I was going on a city tour. One that stopped at the bridge. And before I could talk myself out of it I was on the Golden Gate Bridge with Scooter. Scooter took me from one side to the other and I have the pictures to prove it.

If those pictures weren't enough proof of an amazing day, I scootered my way back to the pier for dinner (delicious)

and captured Alcatraz with a sailboat in the foreground, right from the comfort of my table.

Yep, all is good with me whether I can walk or not.

Bueller Wisdom

I spent my Mother's Day on a cruise ship with no phone service. Outside. By the pool. In the glorious sunshine. Watching movies on the big screen on the ship. "Movies Under the Stars" they call it. (They run movies at night, too.).

Ferris Bueller was one of those movies. Remember his quote at the end?:
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

To all those mothers with little kiddos or big kiddos, please don't forget the wisdom of Ferris.

Happy Mother's Day.

Butchart Gardens

Of my prior three trips to Victoria, BC I never made it to Butchart Gardens. I did today. Very wheelchair (and scooter) friendly. I took way, way too many pictures of flowers. Here is just a fraction of the beauty to be found there.

Yes, I am

For those who predicted this was the adventure I was taking by myself, you were right.

Today we leave from Vancouver, BC. Tomorrow's stop - Victoria. 

The Big Test

I have to pass this test. It's everything I believe in. It's how I'm trying to live my live. Adventure. Opportunities. Excitement.

But my knee has struggled to keep up. All the walking, the treadmills, the being on my feet has destroyed it. I can't take a step without excruciating pain so until I get a new knee (after kiddo's wedding) my life is being lived with a cane and the scooter. Pain - the really bad kind - darkens your world.

But pain wasn't an issue when I planned this adventure. So I find myself struggling to go forth with a positive attitude. But go forth I shall. I choose joy. (Or at least that's what my tattoo tells me.)

The solo,
handicapped,
suck the marrow,
trains, planes, automobiles, and ships
adventure begins now.

First up, hop a plane to Seattle. Take the light rail into the city. Visit Pike Place Market in the pouring rain. Just me and scooter. And flowers. And veggies. And fish. And the most delicious salmon-potato croquettes from a restaurant in the market.

Second up, take the light rail to the Amtrak station. 

Hop a train to Vancouver, British Columbia.

Next up? You'll just have to wait and see. But if you know my travel patterns, you probably could venture a pretty good guess.