Gotcha

The Universe played a "gotcha" on me today.

Today was one of those days I had been planning for. One of those days I'd been thinking over in my head, one of those days that I would make perfect.

Meeting in the morning. Lunch at home. Then my biggie - go to town and buy cat food. Drop off donations. Pick up prescriptions. Go grocery shopping. All by myself. I haven't made a scooter-less multiple-stop trip by myself in a very, very long time. But I was prepared. I had my schedule of stops all planned out.

But then the meeting got moved to the afternoon, so a change of plans was in order. While first thing in the morning is a rough time for me, I committed to getting up and doing my biggie trip before the meeting.

But then, snow all morning. Being it was going to take every bit of strength and stamina and concentration to get through the multi-stop trip to town I decided it best I not go. Goodness knows there is no need for a driver who isn't at the tip top of her game on the highway on a day like today.

Gotcha! Said the Universe. Stop over planning things!

But wouldn't you know, by the time I headed to the meeting the roads started clearing up. 

And after the meeting they were clear even more. So onward to shopping. 

It all works out, doesn't it?

Antithesis

an·tith·e·sis. anˈtiTHəsis. noun: a person or thing that is the direct opposite of someone or something else.

As in, Debbie's new behaviors are the antithesis of the old Debbie.

During the life of this blog I believed in living one day at a time.

I believed I should look for the beauty in each day. (Hence the daily pictures.)

I believed that doing things for others made you lead a fuller and more blessed life. (Hence all the sewing projects for charity.)

I believed that, even while I wrote about my struggles and triumphs, life wasn't all about me.

But in the last month I've become obsessed.

Obsessed about the future, always thinking and planning for future times (when I might feel better) and no longer living for the moment.

Obsessed about not wanting to go into the sewing room. Why am I so scared of working on a new project?

Obsessed about not looking around for the beauty in the day. I can't even look beyond checking my school mail every five minutes, no matter what I'm doing. Can't even get through a movie without looking at the phone.

Obsessed about myself. What can I eat? When is my snack? Did I get all my fluids in for the day? How should I space out my vitamins? How much weight have I lost? (50 pounds, for the record.)

This is so not me. I've got to get back to the old me. First up, out to dinner at Alejandra's. Four bites of chicken fajitas - and a picture of the day- and I'm done.

Baby, baby steps.