Most Embarrasing

Today's picture is the most embarrassing picture I've ever posted here. (Clothes.) And this topic is the most embarrassing topic I've ever written about. (Weight gained over the past years.)

Over the last 10 years I have gained and lost and gained and lost over 100 pounds. Each time I gained, I bought new clothes. Each time I lost, I bought new clothes. Each time I thought I was going to lose just a bit more weight I bought a bit smaller size. Just like anyone who struggles with weight fluctuations I held onto on those sizes (when you're talking 100 pounds you're talking a lot of sizes) in the hopes of being able to fit in them again someday.

That someday never came. But now that I'm "sleeved" I know those days will be fast approaching. I anxiously await my official weigh-in at the doctor's appointment at the end of this week, but according to my unofficial home scale I'm on track to be down 30 pounds in this first month.

What better time to go through those containers of clothes in the basement that are sizes - in some cases many, many sizes - too small? Time to take stock of what I have, what I don't have, what clothes I never even took the tags off of because I never fit into that size.

It turned out to be a horrible mess. All dumped on the bed for me to sort through.

Hi, my name is Deb and I hoard clothes of all different sizes.

Invincible? Nope.

Since I didn't get to go for my walk today (today's picture shows why) I went grocery shopping with hubby. Usually all my grocery trips over the last several months have involved my scooter. Unfortunately since surgery I'm not allowed to lift more than 15 pounds and my scooter weighs 35 pounds. And one-armed hubby can't help much either. So everywhere I go I'm scooter-less.

But I thought it would be okay shopping without the scooter today. I've been walking. I've been bowling, playing golf, tennis, and baseball. (Granted they're on the Wii, but at least it's something.)

Boy, was I wrong about my capabilities. Walking around the store, pushing the cart? Horrible. Bad enough I had to go sit down in the middle of the shopping trip. The lungs just won't kick in. Just like on my walks. Panting, sweating, lightheadedness, terrible headaches, inability to think straight. My oxygen level drops and I feel miserable, just like before surgery.

So one-armed hubby and post-op wife will be figuring out a way to work together to get the 35 pound scooter in and out of the car. No more shopping trips without it.

And no walking down the street today or tomorrow for sure.