Day 163 of 365

It's time for me to regroup. Being gone all day and focusing on work these last two weeks sure have changed my routine.

Okay, totally messed me up.

While I may be working only part time, my days are full time days. Two or three or four days a week, depending on what work needs to be done and what deadlines are approaching. Certain times of the year are busier than others, and of course the beginning of the school year is a hectic time so I'm working most days.

I've jumped in with both feet. But jumping in with both feet hasn't taken me forward, but backward.

Since focusing on work these last two weeks, my

• commitment to cutting out sugar has waned.
• portion sizes have increased.
• exercise minutes and miles per day has greatly decreased.
• my relaxed, no care in the world but getting through the day attitude is gone.

I've been squeezing in just a mile a day on the bike. I found coming home late and trying to ride is just too hard so I tried to switch it to mornings. Which is even tougher because my joints won't move. When I get home I'm wiped out with no energy to do anything - exercise, sew, garden, or even watch what I eat. I just come home and sit. No nothing. Just a bump on a log.

It's a sedentary job, so I'm not having to do a bunch of bending, or lifting, or twisting which is nice. But I'm at the computer doing reports and such all day. Here, just a few long days into work, my hands are so swollen from all the typing and mouse clicking I can barely grasp anything. My elbows are stiff and sore from being bent all day (and me leaning them on the edge of the desk when I type sure doesn't help). Darn arthritis! My back is getting worse from leaning forward too much. Darn posture and back problem!

I come home every day with a pounding headache from staring at the computer screen all day. I thought it might be my glasses prescription, so I started using my reading glasses, but still a pounding headache. Maybe too much concentration since this job is like writing a term paper 8-9 hrs a day straight.

Things have to change. I have an eye doctor appointment in a couple weeks. I'm going to work on my sitting posture and do a better job of standing and stretching (and moving around) more frequently. I'm going to work on a meal plan - one that includes less salt and sugar and smaller portions. And I have to figure out the exercise issue. It's looming over me like a dark cloud. On Day 156 Karen commented, "remember the exercise helped you get your body able to work again". I keep telling myself that again and again, hoping the thought will keep me motivated. I haven't missed a day (117 consecutive days so far), but I'm well aware I need to get back to working on it as hard as I was before.

I have to get myself organized and get myself a plan of how to work through this. I'm struggling and I don't like that feeling. I worked too hard to get where I am to then go so far backwards is such a short time. I can't settle with this being my new normal.

Today was a day away from work and I have a finished quilt top. The same one from Day 157, but now with an extra row added and some colorful borders.

Day 162 of 365

My husband doesn't have a cell phone. I have one, my daughter has one, but he doesn't.

There are several reasons why. He doesn't drive so he doesn't leave in a car without me (and my phone) going with him. He works here in town where we don't have a strong cell phone signal. When he is at work, he has a phone in his classroom in case he needs to make a call or in case we need to call him.

Today when I was at work I received a call on my cell phone that made me wish he had a cell phone.

Since the caller wasn't able to get a hold of him, I then had to turn around and call my husband and relay the message to him - over the phone - while he too was at work. I called his classroom, but he wasn't there. I had to redial his school's number so I could have them call him over the intercom.

I never have him paged. Ever. The important message I had to tell him?

His mother passed away this morning.

In her sleep. The way she wanted to go.

She was big into flowers. In fact, when we got married, she picked peonies from her garden (during the first week of June) and kept them in the back of her refrigerator to use at our July 28th wedding. The peonies looked just-picked (as opposed to 6 weeks old).

I think she would have liked today's picture of our butterfly bush.

Day 161 of 365

Finally.

Not finally, I have a job. Or finally, my daughter will be home next week to help us get some work done, or finally, my house is clean.

Nope. None of the above.

But, finally something is being harvested from the garden.

Not just any old vegetable. We've already been through the radishes, the peas, the spinach, and the arugula. We've harvested kale, cabbage, and broccoli. We enjoy tomatoes, bell peppers, and hot peppers almost every day. Zucchini is being picked almost daily and red potatoes are being dug every couple days. Pumpkins are orange.

Nope, this vegetable is the one I've been waiting on more than any other. (Actually, the potatoes might be tied for my number one vegetable.)

On Day 64 we planted it.

On Day 82 I cheered it on, hoping it would grow faster.

But right here, right now I finally picked some. My most favorite vegetable in the world. And these two ears just happened to be the most tender corn in the world. (Probably not, but it sure tasted like it.)

Make Handmade Chocolate Covered Tuxedo Strawberries - Day 160 of 365, Tutorial Tuesday

"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."

I read the quote not too long ago and it took a while for it to sink in.

But it makes so much sense. So many of us (i.e. me) worry about things which will never happen. The thoughts of what might go wrong usually are, by far, not even close to what actually happens.

I've been living so much day to day over this past year and a half or so. But in regards to returning to school/work activities, I started thinking ahead. (I should have known better.) I was so dreading being gone last week. With work meetings and a doctor's appointment, I knew my days were going to be long and busy. Coming off more than a year where "work" wasn't part of my thought process or vocabulary, I was worried about how I was going to manage it all.

I was a bit worried about going to those meetings. Getting up early two days in a row. (When the heck was the last time that happened?) Attending meetings with people around the state I didn't know. Talking about things I wasn't "up" on. Having long days - days longer than I've had since I-don't-know-when. I questioned my commitment and ability to get back into the world of work.

But I made it. I got myself up and there, ready to go. I met some folks at the meetings I've had contact with before. I met someone new who works in a neighboring district. My educationese language came right back, my interest in school improvement returned, and my motivation to be a leader in the process returned. (Which was a complete shock to me. I thought I lost my confidence, but - do I dare say - it might be returning here and there?) And now even my office looks ready to go.

"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."

I think I need to stop worrying about my tomorrows and start focusing on my todays.

The today I didn't worry about? My first official day of work (and a long one at that) on campus at my new job.

The highlight of the day? A delicious "tuxedo" chocolate covered strawberries picture and tutorial.