Day 799

Have you ever had a doctor call you personally to tell you test results? My pulmonary specialist did today. So yes, paralyzed diaphragm, yes there will be a significant lifestyle impact, no it will never get better, yes the oxygen monitor I wore the other night show my oxygen level drops way too low, no the insurance won't cover the oxygen machine I need unless I have a sleep study and then use a CPAP machine first. No, no problems with bloodwork. Oh, and would you like me to call you with the results of the sleep study or would you like to come in and visit about them?

Wow.

After months of trying to get answers, months of doctors and physician assistants and nurses and secretaries dismissing my concerns about not being able to breathe, of not returning calls, and in some cases never letting me know how test results turned out, it sure is a breath of fresh air. (Pun intended!)

Fresh like tulips.

Day 798

I don't know if anyone is in their right mind to make smart decisions at 5 AM, but I went for it. I woke up and decided to kill the garden.

We bought seeds months ago. We had high school kids plant them in the greenhouse. And we waited for me to feel well enough to clean up last year's garden. Clean it up and plant it.

But that "feel well enough" day hasn't appeared. Actually, that's inaccurate. I feel great. Better than I've felt in years. Those infusions have knocked that darn arthritis right out of my system and there is no pain in my body. It has been replaced with a smile on my face and a sparkle in my eye. Every day I'm up early excited for the day.

But I can't move much without losing my air. Heck, I can't even walk to the garden space let alone work in it. Knowing I won't ever be able to catch my breath is what lead me to the decision. The killing of the garden decision.

Although right now it's more of a killing the weeds decision.

Day 797

On a stop at Sonic for lunch (Did you know they had grilled cheese? Yum.) before I headed to another appointment at the hospital I came across this gorgeous tree in bloom. I can't believe now, with almost 800 consecutive days of taking pictures behind me, that things are still awe-inspiring to me.

Life is good, ya know?

Day 796

The fluroscopy test I had on my lungs today confirmed the pulmonary specialist's preliminary diagnosis.

My diaphragm, that muscle that pushes air into and out of my lungs, is paralyzed.

I left the hospital, thinking about life and looking up at the clouds. What else is there to do when you know life will never be the same?

Day 795

Taking close up pictures of the tulips has gotten me thinking about how much things look different close up. I could go on about how it applies to my life right now, but I will restrain myself.

But I'm not restraining from (trying) to take a close up picture of something else, my hand after painting the steps at the Boise place. Yep, I over did it but yep, they look good. (My hand? Not so pretty.)

Day 794

There's no keeping me down. I just can't sit still all day. Case in point, this mess from the estate sale I went to in Boise. The one where I put everything on the floor of the bedroom. On Day 743 it looked like this:

Now look at it today. Most went to eBay but I saved a few pieces for myself. With the addition of the cubby shelves things are coming together nicely.

Day 793

Let's have a lesson on lungs today. More of a lesson on the diaphragm. 

The diaphragm sits below the lungs and is the major muscle involved in breathing. It contracts and relaxes, forcing air in and out of your lungs. When you breath in, the diaphragm flattens out and lets air in your lungs. When you breathe out, it expands and forces air out of your lungs. A diaphragm also acts as a barrier between the chest cavity and abdominal cavity.

There is also a nerve that runs through your chest that makes those diaphragms work. That nerve can be damaged by a virus. That nerve damage can cause the diaphragm to be pretty much be stuck in the expanded state, pushing into the lungs permanently. No contracting in and out, no air in and out. That diaphragm can also lose its job as chest/abdominal cavity barrier and wind up carrying the liver and other abdominal organs into the lung cavity with it.

So thus is the lesson of the diaphragm. And the preliminary diagnosis from the pulmonary specialist. I have a few more tests lined up next week to confirm.

The good news? It shouldn't get worse. The bad news? It won't get better. There are some treatments, but nothing guaranteed. I've been told to do everything very slowly. Keep the walking down to a minimum, stick close to home. Even suggested a scooter to get around. Not what I had in mind.

Also what I didn't have in mind? A CT scan of my lungs that looked like this. You can see that doggone diaphragm clogging up the lungs. No wonder I can't breathe!