Day 338 of 365

It makes me sick to think about how hard it used to be. How hard it was just to get myself to work every single day. I remember the torture it was getting up, showered and dressed. I remember all too clearly the severe pain that filled my mornings. The pain so severe that I cried day after day on my way to work. The pain that stayed with me all through my work day.

Looking back, I don't know how I did it. But I'm sure glad some things have changed.

This part time work is a better fit for me and my issues. There are some days where it is hard to get myself up and out the door, but there is comfort in knowing I can sit when I arrive at work. That I can throw myself into whatever I'm doing - which usually involves sitting - and keep my mind off of it. It's not like it was before when, despite how horrible it was, I was spending the entire day teaching 25 kids. There is also comfort in knowing that I have days off each week for me to regroup.

Today was the second day of my attempt at a five day escape-from-the-world plan. And the second day of it where my husband stayed home.

So I plopped myself in my sewing room and worked the whole day. The quilt top from yesterday is progressing nicely and I freshened up my little plastic drawers with some jazzy labels.

Day 337 of 365

What the hell.

Yesterday those words popped out of my mouth at work. My coworker and I were talking and they just slipped right on out. Hearing those words in an elementary school building is quite unusual. (Thank goodness we were in my office.) What was even more unusual about those words was how loud the one word came out. I had started into a whisper and when I got to that last word it unintentionally exploded from my mouth. We had quite the laugh about it.

I thought about using the same phrase today at home but there would be no laughing involved this time.

My quiet, alone, disconnect from everyone and everything five day respite is off to a bumpy start. My husband picked today to stay home. There's nothing like a mopey, TV-watching husband who stays in his pajamas all day to throw a wrench in your plans.

I was practically giddy last night knowing I would get time to myself. Lesson learned. Back to one day at a time living. Stay away from thinking ahead.

Today's picture is the one I was originally going to post yesterday. The dark border is being chopped to make it a bit narrower and a white border is going on. Hopefully tomorrow's picture will show more progress on it. (Oops, gotta get away from thinking about tomorrow.)