Day 43 of 365

My daughter tells me all the time, "Don't jinx it, mom". Guess I should have listened to her.

Yesterday I was bragging all about how, now 40 some days later, I thought that taking a picture a day was getting me somewhere. That it gave me a reason to get up in the morning and how every night before I go to bed I run through in my mind what I want to accomplish for the next day. And that I was learning that if I kept myself focused enough on something else, I could ignore my pain for short periods of time.

Yeah, right.

Not so much today. Actually, not at all today. I went to bed last night not feeling well and not caring about today, woke up not feeling well, and spent the entire day not feeling well.

What did I get done today? I took a shower. I wiped down the counters. I fixed my husband's tie. To quote the late Chris Farley on a Saturday Night Live sketch, "Well, la di fricken da!"

What changed? I've been keeping myself busy doing something every day - maybe my body just needed a break. Last night was my chemotherapy drug night, so it could account for me not feeling so hot.  Or it could be that my daughter is right. Don't talk about things going well or you'll jinx them.

This picture of a bus at the salvage yard down the road sums up how I feel today.

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

Day 42 of 365

It seems as though this blog, which originally was planned just to be a picture-a-day blog, has turned into a "look what I made" picture-a-day. And today isn't any different.

When I first started writing this 40+ days ago, I knew I had to make some changes. I was just coming off of my last rotator cuff surgery, still going to physical therapy several times a week, and was getting ready to start new arthritis medicine. I was struggling with pain all day, every day, and knew that I had to change my outlook. I had looked back and realized after living in the previous year and a half I had nothing to show for it. I didn't know if taking a picture a day would get me anywhere, but now 40 some days later, I think it's starting to.

It has given me a reason to get up in the morning. Now, every night before I go to bed I run through in my mind what I want to accomplish for the next day. It's small things. Like yesterday. I wanted to get through all the old receipts for the year and get the Dick and Jane magnets done. Today I wanted to gather all the old magazines in the house into a pile and decide what to keep and what to discard. I also wanted to do something with one of the cake mixes I bought on sale the other day. I still can't keep myself working throughout the entire day. And there are some days it takes all I have just to get out of bed and write.

But as I'm writing every day, I am finding hope. I have documentation that I've already lived (and baked, and sewed, and wrote) for a month and a half. Even on my worst days, I can pull myself out of my pain. It's still there - always - but I'm learning that if I keep myself focused enough on something else, I can ignore it for short periods of time.

Baby steps. I hope that I can continue to take these small steps forward.

Speaking of baby steps, I made some baby chicks today out of a chocolate cake mix, homemade buttercream frosting, and some yellow candy coating.

They're called Cake Pops, and I got the idea from Bakerella here. She also has a book with LOTS of ideas for cake pops.