I Knew It

I knew exactly what the rheumatologist was going to say. Back to infusions.

He explained all about how the longer I wait, the more my joints will be damaged. In 5-10 years I'll be sorry I waited. Sorry I didn't do all I could to arrest the disease. While he was pleased I was more active, he warned me about needing to be super careful with my joints. I need to listen very carefully to my body and not overdo it. He suggested swimming would be a more appropriate activity for me than walking. Also said how amazing it is that I continue to work with the severity of the active rheumatoid arthritis I have going on. (I should be on disability right now, but I'm not. And not planning on it. Thanks boss, for working with me on that one!)

So after the doctor visit I guess I'm being a bit rebellious. I'm not starting infusions yet. The fatigue, the malaise, the all around icky feeling they cause is too fresh in my mind. And anyone who has been around me these last couple months can tell you fatigue/icky feeling/looking is not a word to describe me.

And I'm not giving up walking yet. While I might give up on that idea of walking a 5k in May (yeah, I kinda had that as a goal), I still am going to use my trusty iPhone GPS walking app.

Even used it in the grocery store. While I thought I had my list all planned out so I wouldn't have to do any backtracking, two things caused detours. One, I forgot to pick up the ad on my way in the store and had to head to customer service. Two, I couldn't find the sandwich hubby was wanting me to pick up for him. I must have looked crazy going 'round in circles looking for a doggone sandwich. At least I did a good job of shopping the perimeters and staying away from the bad-for-you foods up and down all the aisles. Even got a 1/2 mile in!

Couldn't Make it to Four

The notes I put in the GPS walking app this morning tell the story of my attempt at four laps.

Lap 1, foot hurt
Lap 2, knees hurt and couldn't breathe
Lap 3, knees hurt, right hip hurt, and really couldn't breathe

As much as I had my heart set on making it around the paved park path four times this morning before work, it wasn't meant to be. While my Achilles tendon took two days of ice and heat to recover, my knees and my lungs aren't going to be so lucky. The knee will take a replacement to fix it up. The lung? Losing more weight may help but that's about it.

But how can I not feel lucky anyway? I walked 1.2 miles today. And just a year ago - almost to the exact date - I had crossed my final line in the sand on my health. On March 19 of last year I started the infusions for rheumatoid arthritis. And here it is a year later and I am walking again - with no infusion drugs in my system. (Although I have my rheumatologist appointment tomorrow and I'm sure he'll want to start me back on treatments. I've been able to put them off because I've been recovering from surgery. Can't use that excuse anymore.)

While four laps didn't happen today, maybe they will tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I'll get just as pretty pictures as I did at sunrise today.

A + B = C

Walking in the sun + sitting in the sun + working outside in the sun = a bit too much sun on the forehead and nose. While it may appear Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer is visiting early, it's just me.

Walking in the sun + a bad knee that makes me walk weird + a good night's sleep = an Achilles tendon that won't work. I woke up with a sharp pain that wouldn't let me move my foot up or down. Putting on my shoes? Excruciating. My hope was that it would calm down, but no go. So hubby said no go on the walking for the day.

Which is where the sitting in the sun came from. Sitting in the sun + squawking seagulls = hawks chasing after them. It also equaled pictures for me (and you).

There's an App for That

After a long plateau with the weight loss I knew I had to do something different. These last few weeks I've been using a new app to track my food intake. My Fitness Pal lets me put in my meals, water, exercise, and notes. It calculates all the important things, but for me the protein, calorie, and sodium count are the most important. I've been obsessive about making sure every calorie is counted. It's paying off. According to this morning's scale I'm down 66 pounds.

Now I'm obsessed with another app that I have linked to the fitness pal one. Map my Walk is a GPS that when turned on, tracks where you are walking, the distance, the time, and calories burned. It's exciting to see right away what I've accomplished. And it's pretty darn accurate. As I made my three laps around the paved park path I can see where I walked off the path to sit at a picnic bench to catch my breath (which happened several times this morning since hubby went with me - he's a fast walker and I had a hard time keeping up). I can see where I cut through the grass instead of going through the parking lot to make the loop. I can see where I stopped for a rest before heading to the car, where I paused the GPS and forgot to turn it back on. I can also see that I don't know how to walk a straight line. An entire 1.16 miles of it today.

And I can see where I went swimming. Not really, but the GPS thinks so.

(Lisa, did you get your walk in?)

Just a Walk in the Park

Who is lucky enough to have lung capacity for a walk in the park? Enough lung capacity to make it 3/4 of a mile with only one sit-down-and-catch-my-breath-break? Me.

Who is lucky enough to live by a river and see this on her walk in the park in the early morning before work? Me.

And to those who commented yesterday? Thank you. It's good to know I'm not forgotten!

Choosing Joy

Something just occurred to me on the drive to work today. It is so very much easier to choose to live a life of joy when you are feeling better.

In my case that means my non-working lung isn't always interrupting my daily activity like it did just a few short months ago. It's pretty darn amazing how much different life is when you can breath. Oxygen is so important!

Recently I've done some simple things I didn't think I'd ever get to do again. Work in the rose garden. Go grocery shopping (by myself - with no scooter). Get up in the morning and shower and get dressed and eat breakfast and pack a lunch and go to work - all in a row with no breaks to stop and catch my breath. Load boxes in the car (gotta work on those 100 things).

And walk. In the store. At school. In the park. Just last weekend when kiddo was over the three of us went down to the park by the river here in Marsing. We made one loop around the paved path and I wanted to do more. So under the bridge we went, past the first boat dock and all the way to the second boat dock. For most folks it would seem all that walking might be just a short little jaunt. But for me with one operating lung, rheumatoid arthritis, and a knee needing replaced it was a big little jaunt. I was walking a pretty brisk-for-me pace so there were lots of catch-my-breath breaks. But I have to say I pushed myself, was proud of myself, and it felt good to do something I thought I'd never get to do again. (Now I just need to make it a habit.)

Even took the camera down, hoping to catch some pictures of ducks. The best picture came as I was backing out of the driveway before we even left the house. I think we're gonna have babies around again.

How can I not be joyous?

March 3, 2011

Being that today is March 3, and three years ago exactly was March 3, I figured I might as well look back to that day. Some of you were around back then and some of you weren't, but in either case let's take a walk down memory lane to 2011. To the first post ever of this blog. My, how times have changed.

Day 1 of 365
So the last 18 months have been rough.

First there was a back injury that make it difficult to do most daily activities. Then came the Rheumatoid Arthritis diagnosis. Total knee replacement surgery was next. Then, a root canal gone bad requiring gum surgery. Took a year's leave of absence from work to help expedite my healing. Broken finger. Torn rotator cuff in my right shoulder and subsequent surgery. Followed by torn rotator cuff in my left shoulder and subsequent surgery. I've spent 17 of the last 18 months (including this month) in physical therapy and have taken more pain medicine than a person should. Back issues still plague me, my knee doesn't bend completely, I still can't raise both arms above my head, and the chemotherapy medication I'm taking for the rheumatoid arthritis isn't improving my condition.

And I'm 45 years old.

Despite the fact that I have more bad days than good and my body is failing me, I am thankful.

I'm thankful for my family. For my husband who is now the breadwinner for the family. For my daughter who let me come live with her for my last surgical recovery. For the cat that climbs up on me when I'm not feeling so great. For the roof over my head. For the view of the river I have from my living room window. For being able to, on some days, do something that will benefit others. Collecting coupons to send to military families. Blankets for babies in the hospital. Cookies for my physical therapists.

But over these last 18 months I haven't felt so thankful. Out of work, in pain, struggling to get through each day.

But today that is going to change.

For the next year, I have a goal. A picture goal. A take-a-picture-every-day-to-see-that-you-have-lived kind of goal.

Every day, I will take a picture of something I did, created, saw that was interesting (or even boring), somewhere I went, or anything else I decide to capture at the time.

I don't know where this will lead me, but hope it will lead me back into the land of the living instead of the land of the existing.


Fast forward to present day. Here's something I found this week on Pinterest (my new obsession). How appropriate. Happy blog anniversary!