Finally Cool in LA

I'm finally cool. 

Flight from Boise to Seattle. Shuttle from airport to hotel. Drop off luggage. Shuttle from hotel to light rail station. Take light rail to downtown Seattle. Spend time around Pike Place Market. Take light rail back to airport. Shuttle back to hotel. Sleep. Shuttle back to light rail station. Take light rail to International District. Walk to Amtrak station. Get on Coast Starlight train, Seattle to Los Angeles. Arrive 35 hours later at Los Angeles Union Station. Take a taxi to hotel. Sleep. Walk to the metro station. Catch redline train to Hollywood and Vine. Spend time looking around Hollywood Walk of Fame. 

Catch hop on hop off bus red line tour. Take tour of LA. 

Transfer to yellow line hop on hop off bus tour. Go to Santa Monica. Walk the pier, have lunch. 

Catch hop on hop off bus to finish yellow line tour. Transfer to redline hop on hop off bus to finish tour of LA. 

Get off at Grauman's Chinese Theater. 

Redline train to LA Union Station. Catch cab back to hotel. Sleep. Take shuttle to cruise ship port. 

Before we left home, I made sure to do my part in giving back. I hand delivered 45 homemade brightly colored pillowcases to a children's home. I thought that was pretty cool. 

Being able to pull off all those travel arrangements without getting lost could be considered a major accomplishment and maybe even cool. Having seen and done all I have in the last few days could be considered pretty cool, too. 

But it took one single incident that made me cool in my daughter's eyes. The picture I took outside Grauman's Chinese Theater where they were filming America's Next Top Model. Cool? I guess. (Personally I'll take sewing pillowcases or sucking-the-marrow adventures as being at the top of my cool list.)

Chicago

In my home I have a map. A huge wall map covered with stickers, with each sticker representing a spot I've visited. For a location to earn a spot on the map I need to have either eaten, slept, or gone to the restroom there. I have long stopped counting how many places are marked. 

Chicago is one place that is marked. Ate there? Yes. Slept there? No. Gone to the restroom there? Yes. All in the Chicago airport. It has always been a stop over on the way to someplace else. My husband has been there for business and enjoyed it but Chicago hasn't ever really been a destination location for me. 

But lately I have been wondering if it is a place I am meant to go. Someone at work had mentioned how much they would love to go to Chicago. And since that day the number of Chicago references I have noticed has been astounding.

On that very first day after hearing that person's enthusiasm about Chicago -on my way home, stuck in traffic - I heard on the radio that Oprah was closing down her studio in Chicago.

That same night on my Yahoo page there was reference again to Oprah.

Then when I went to book an Amtrak trip what would appear on the booking page but an advertisement for lowered fares to Chicago?

Another day in an email Chicago pops up again. 

One of the people I follow on Twitter has something going on in Chicago. 

Another day, another person from Twitter that I follow, another Chicago. 

Out to eat at the Village in Meridian and what appears?

Sitting down to watch a couple minutes of TV with hubby. Chicago on the movie. Then the nightly news talking about Chicago dying the river green for St. Patrick's Day. And a man in a Chicago Cubs tshirt in the Mexican restaurant. 

Then we get on this Amtrak train from Seattle to LA. The faucet manufacturer in the restroom? Yep. 

With all this Chicago in just the last couple weeks I'm guessing this means at some point I will be going to Chicago. Too many coincidences for me not to. 

But why? Only the Universe knows. 

Pillowcase Adventure Project

I thought I knew what poverty was. I've traveled the US and seen depressed areas. I've seen the homeless in the big cities. I've seen ram shackled homes in the country. The cycle of poverty is difficult to break and I always worry most about the kids.

Which is why my life plan is shaping up the way it is. I had to go all the way to Belize and Honduras for it to make sense.

Belize City, where people are proud and happy. And poor. A place where education is important. Where the windows and shutters of the schools are wide open and have no screens but students are learning English. Where a little boy ran to the school fence and waved to me as we drove by.

Roatan, Honduras, where the level of poverty is beyond what I ever could have imagined. Where kids don't have much of a chance. Where five year olds have already started walking the beach, trying to hit up tourists for money in exchange for their trinkets.

Then throw in the sewing. Throw in the need for adventure. The need to give back to others. And this pull I have to quit my job.

It's all falling into place. Soon I'll be visiting an orphanage in Honduras, delivering homemade pillowcases to the kids. I haven't forgotten about Idaho, either. I'll be delivering pillowcases to a children's home here, too. A home full of failed-adoption kiddos, kids that no one wants.

A year of love, gratitude, and giving. Of being happy everyday. Might just call it the Pillowcase Adventure Project. (Still working on the name.)

Soon I'll be up, up, and away. Like the planes in the morning.

Leaping Lizards, Icky Iguanas

It's so hard.

With most chronic diseases, drug companies are actively marketing management treatments, not cures. That means two things. You're stuck with the disease and you're stuck paying drug companies astronomical amounts of money over the course of your lifetime. 

When you are fighting said chronic illness you feel trapped. You are more than willing to do what the experts say to do in order to add normalcy to your life. 

It can, at times, feel like the illness is winning. It takes control of your life. Your day's activities revolve around the pain associated with it. On good days you think you just might be able to make it. On bad days (mind you, when I say bad it's not just a regular person's bad day - it is an all out fight to move kind of day) you are certain you won't make it. 

Then there are those other days. Days of clarity. Days where it all comes into perspective. Usually on those days there are no answers, but there are gut feelings.  Hunches. Intuitions. About what is right for you in that very moment. 

One of those hunches led me to face my fear of lizards by feeding huge iguanas. 

It's a soul thing. Throw caution to the wind. Take a chance. A way to heal myself. Thumb my nose at the doctors and drug companies. And in the meantime maybe discover who I'm meant to be. What if by chance I'm not meant to be sick after all?

Hunkering Down

As I continue with my chemotherapy medication that makes me sick, as I wait for approval for the new, aggressive rheumatoid arthritis medication. As hubby waits to see if he will have any income this month. As we wait for new carpet to arrive and Internet and phone to be installed in our Boise home. As we wait for our Marsing home to sell. As we work through the emotional and physical toll these last few months have taken on us.

As we wait we have decided to hunker down. Keeping our feelings and thoughts to ourselves, no talking and no visiting and seeing no one. Just the two of us taking a break from the world for a little while. 

We'll be back in society and back to responsibilities and obligations when the time is right. But that time is not now.  Midlife crisis? Physical breakdown? Mental breakdown? 

Maybe a combination of all. Time to take advantage of this sign:

Emotions

The emotions that have accompanied the life changes we've been experiencing have been stronger than expected.

Husband sitting home all day, every day, with nothing to do but watch TV. His identity - high school teacher - has been lost. 28 years spent in the same school district, in the same building, teaching the same subject. How could it not be an emotional draining situation for him?

Losing kitty, my companion. Having to put her to sleep was difficult. 14 years of knowing when I wasn't feeling well, climbing onto my lap to keep me company. Sitting in the window as I sat sewing at the machine. Still feels like a part of me is missing.

Then teary eyes in kiddo's room when I was cleaning out and boxing things up to make room for the painter. From elementary school to middle school to high school to college to married life, her knick knacks and clothes and medals and posters that had been collected had remained.

The house is now empty. Painting is finished. Doing a walkthrough last night brought more tears to the eyes. And while it won't officially go onto the market until Wednesday, we now have a sign in the yard. Anyone looking for a four bedroom three bath house with a river view in Marsing, Idaho? I know someone selling one.

An emotional time.

Timing

At 8:49 AM I made a phone call. Pouring rain, side of the highway, heading back to Marsing for the last time. With a flat tire.

At 9:11 AM as I sat in the cold car waiting for AAA to arrive I received a text. It came from someone I work with, someone who had no knowledge of my current side-of-the-road situation.  

"Today is going to be awesome!" 

How's that for timing? Such a good reminder that we can choose to be happy even in the pain-in-the-rear situations. 

Thank you, you-know-who for choosing that moment to connect with me. 

Convinced

I am completely convinced that the geese are speaking directly to me as they honk. Another load of house stuff packed into the car = another noisy flock flying overhead.

I think we'll both miss each other.

Cats and Kids (and Geese)

Before I walked out the door this morning I told my husband, "A house this big needs to be filled with cats and kids. Since we have neither here, it's time to go."

I think the geese agree. For two consecutive days as I've been packing the car I've been greeted by noisy Canadian Geese flying overhead.

Somehow I think they are telling me goodbye. 

Hidden Gem

Have you ever had the experience of seeing something, but not really seeing it? I've looked at this picture of ice on my rose bush before. Didn't even see the single snowflake hanging off of it.

Time to start opening my eyes.

The Joy in the Day

As I knelt on the hard floor I realized titanium knees and kneeling, at least in my case, don't mix. In that moment I realized stand up paddle boarding will probably never be part of my life.

Then I went and passed up the opportunity this weekend at the YMCA standup paddle boarding open house. I chickened out, plain and simple. 

Guess I'll find a new adventurous dream. It's not like I don't have a lot to choose from. Not just a lot right now, though. In the winter and the cold and the snow and the rain and the freezing rain and the clouds and fog not many options are presenting themselves right now. 

The brief moment of sunshine (you really have to look to see it) gave me a glimmer of hope for something popping up soon. A joyous moment. 

It's Time

I can't believe what I'm about to say.

It's time.

Time to start the blog up again. Surprised? I sure am. Never thought the day would come where I would find myself writing on a daily basis again. Picture taking, yes. Writing, no. 

But there have been a lot of changes in my life – our lives – and I need an outlet.

The changes, in no particular order:

*Kitty had to be put to sleep. 
*Hubby is no longer working and may wind up on disability. 
*We are making the move from our Marsing house to our Boise house – permanently. 
*I've just recently made the decision not to return to work next year. It was in the early days of this blog when I was so excited to go back to work. And now I'm excited to go the other direction.
*I am down almost 170 pounds.

Yet some things still stay the same.

*I still have rheumatoid arthritis. (No surprise there.) I still only have one lung working. (No surprise there either, but with the weight loss comes easier breathing.) 

*I still work on charity quilts for kids.
*My lust for travel continues. (Actually that should fall in the change list. I find now that I feel a little bit better about myself wanting to do more and go more places.)

It has been a wild ride. Let's see how much wilder it can get. So here I go again pouring out everything I see and do and think and feel.

Welcome back to us both.

First picture up, one of my focuses for the year.

x

Not Gone Yet

I now have Instagram which is linked to both Twitter and the blog. So whether you belong to those two or not, you can still see my pictures on the blog page. (They show up to the right on at the top of the blog.) I believe if you click on a picture it will take you to the picture and what I've written about the picture. So yeah, I'm still around - just in a different way.

I posted a couple pictures today. First, of the sunrise. Second, of a group of people from work getting buckets of ice dumped on them. Yeah, I'm one of those folks who had the pleasure of getting drenched for the ALS ice bucket challenge. You can click over to the right and see part of the video or the picture. If that doesn't work here's the best pic of us.

I Owe it to You

Before I leave I do owe everyone a picture. So in the spirit of authenticity I figured it should be a take-me-as-I-am picture. So here is a just-woke-up picture. Still in bed in a nightgown several sizes too big, no makeup, no hair done, not even a chance to get my glasses on. And lip still swollen from whatever it was that got to me in Hawaii. 

About as unglamorous as it gets. 

Then, for those who can't make it over to Twitter, I'm trying to find a way to have my daily Twitter pictures show up over here on the blog. Bear with me as I figure it out and keep checking back to see if it works. A couple people have suggested I use Instagram so we'll see what happens. 

Guess I'm in a big time state of flux!

Time for a Change

My stories are old. Hubby is tired of me spending time writing on the blog. I'm getting tired of trying to be creative. I know nothing about it, but my boss got me into Twitter. Being I can only write a little on there (I don't know how many characters, but I know there is a limit) it makes sense to switch.

So today is the last day of the blog. I'm moving over to Twitter with my picture of the day. Sure hope you'll come see me over there! (Just search for debzpicaday.) We'll see how it works just hanging there. I'm not sure but you may have to join. (Sorry about that.) Let me know how it works for you. I may be back here if it winds up not being the best solution. 

And guess what? I'm almost brave enough to post a picture of myself. But not yet. Today it'll be just a picture of a flower on today's walk.

Threatened with a Wheelchair

I had a really rough night last night. The pain was more than I've felt in quite some time. The joints, the muscles, the overall achy everything. Almost brought me to tears. I went to bed earlier hoping it would help. But like most nights I tossed and turned (and maybe even whimpered some).

I know why I hurt so much. I'm trying to live a normal life. I'm working full time now for the first time since before I started this blog. Five full days working like a normal person, a Saturday spent working in the garden like a normal person, a Sunday spent at the grocery store like a normal person. Walking around the block like a normal person. (Can you tell the GPS is still off?)


But I'm not a normal person. Or so the rheumatologist reminded me today.

That was at about the same time he threatened me with a wheelchair.

I've been resisting going back to the infusions for going on several months. The doctor made a pretty darn good case about why ignoring treatment is a bad idea. He is absolutely confident that I will be in a wheelchair and on disability within five years. And between now and those five years? The pain, stiffness, fatigue, and joint damage will get worse. I will never get better, never live a normal life. But with infusions, I could possibly have two good months out of every three.

I might just take those two months. Better than what happened last night. I can't hide that kind of misery.

Shopping in Circles

Going grocery shopping and shopping for shoes and clothes in the same store made me look like I didn't know where the heck I was going. Actually, I didn't. I've always shopped in the large women's clothing section of the store. But I can't wear those sizes anymore so I had to find a department that had clothes that would fit. Not knowing what size I really wear I had to spend time trying things on. All that work (plus the 3/4 of a mile of walking) and all I came away with was boring groceries and a pair of shoes and a shirt, both on clearance. Better than nothing.

Time to Pass the Christmas Torch

I've been thinking long and hard on this one. When I was cleaning my sewing room today the decision became final in my mind.

No more sewing Christmas stockings for the Stockings for Soldiers project.

This is the time of year when I start working on the project, but instead I find it's the time to pass the torch. Pass it to others who don't feel the need to outdo themselves due to some I-need-to-impress or I'm-never-enough way of thinking.

I have lots of non-Christmas charity projects and lots of non-Christmas fabric to work with.

It's kind of sad, but it's time to let Christmas go. 

GPS Malfunction

The GPS walking app on my phone must have some sort of issue. One lap around the block at work looks like this.

The two trips around the block looks like this.

You'd think I was running back and forth across the streets and in yards and into homes. (Don't worry, I wasn't.) Weird.

Personal Weather Station

No need to watch the weather on TV here. Just pay attention to the cat. When she hunches under the coffee table you know a storm is on its way.

This time there was more lightning in one storm than I have ever seen before. Even managed to snap a picture in the middle of the night.

Being Aware

When I'm busy it's hard for me to look beyond what I'm doing. While I've struggled with it for years I like to think I'm better than I used to be. I know I was better today since I was looking at the clouds on my way to work.

Unfortunately I didn't have my camera with me and missed the opportunity to take a picture of a spectacular cloud formation. But I redeemed myself by continuing to be aware this afternoon. This interesting cloud caught my eye when I got home.

Radio Silence

I feel like I've gone silent on the blog but I'm just back to work. Leaves kitty home to play outside. Which in her case might just mean playing in the dirt. Geez, the girl needs a bath.

Happy Dance

It's nice to be home. I get to sleep in my own bed. I get to be greeted by a cat happy to see me. I get to see my flowers in bloom. (Black-eyed Susans in the picture.)

I get back to my scale. 130 pounds lost. Happy dance time!

Hoarding Paper Goods

Can you call shopping on Amazon an addiction? It's not like I'm buying electronics or clothes or stuff I don't need. I buy practical stuff. Toilet paper, paper towels, Kleenex, air freshener, coffee. It's not like I'm paying all that much, either. Their Subscribe and Save discount, plus their coupon, plus a price reduction. Certainly cheaper than the sales at the grocery store.

But now that I finally got to go downstairs and organize my shelves I realized I might have let things get out of control. Sure looks pretty on my shelves, though!

Keys on Knees

A record long physical therapy session. Grocery shopping. Unloading the car from our time in Boise. Unpacking groceries. Helping hubby get his classroom ready. Celebrating hubby's birthday. All squished into one very long exhausting day.  The knee, the head, and the body are all screaming from the combination of busy activities. 

Can't forget about the driving. Today was the first day I've driven since surgery. As the knee has been getting stronger, I didn't see it would be much of a problem. But being I'm only wearing shorts because of the still-tender scar, a problem did present itself. 

When you drive, where do your dangling car keys hit? Mine? 

The Universe is on my Side

Iselle isn't the first hurricane I've dodged. Where was I before Katrina hit? At a conference in New Orleans.

With this Iselle one we really cut it close. The flight we took last night? If we happened to be ending our vacation today here's what we would have found:

The Universe continues to look out for my best interests. We're home in Idaho while Hawaii prepares for the one-two punch. Category 1 Iselle hitting the Big Island as I type this, with category 3 Julio set to hit this weekend.

Oh, and there was an earthquake there today.

I'm always thankful for the Universe.

Leaving Things Behind

The good thing about traveling is you can come home with a lighter suitcase than when you left.

We make it a practice to take holey socks and worn out undergarments on our trips so we can toss them while away, leaving us less left to pack on the return trip home. On this trip we have left behind the usual socks and undergarments. With me dropping pounds, I also brought along clothes that were several sizes too big, knowing it'd be the last time I'd get to wear them. Goodbye nightgown, pair of shorts, and tshirts. Also goodbye to a pair of sandals that busted on the trip. Goodbye to the most delicious of fruit - white pineapple - from the local farmers market. (That stuff was delish!)

We're also leaving an island under a hurricane warning. A state of emergency has been declared by the governor, libraries and schools are being closed (yep, they start the new school year early in Hawaii), and workers will be sent home early on Thursday. Our hotel is prepping their ballroom, the place in the building made to be hurricane and tsunami safe, where guests will camp out during the storm.

With our late night Wednesday flight out we are managing to miss the hurricane by just a few hours. By the time we arrive in Boise Thursday afternoon the damage may have already begun. Crossing fingers for a good outcome in paradise.

Could be the Last

I'm sure hoping this will be the last time I see one of these icky little lizards staring up at me again. Doggone thing looks like the lava rock.

I could get used to these sunsets, though. Our flight leaves here very late tomorrow night, giving us plenty of time to snap another sunset. But this picture here could be the last one I take.


It has something to do with this.

Being that we're staying on the Big Island, the first island in the hurricane's path, tomorrow could be interesting. (Just depends on which weather forecaster you're listening to.)

For the First Time in Forever

I've been to the beach in California, Oregon, Washington. I've been to the water's edge in Alaska and Texas and Florida. Add in the beaches of South Carolina and Maine. I can't forget about all the beaches in Hawaii - on the Big Island, Maui, Oahu, and Kauai. I've dipped my toes, sometimes the feet, but never past the ankle in many of those spots. But to swim in the ocean waters? Nope. Not even close.

But I could break out singing the song from Frozen right now. Why?

Because for the first time in forever I swam in the ocean today. (No waterproof camera so sand-covered feet will have to do.) Being brave rocks!

I Wanna Do That!

I found something to add to my list of things I want to do when my knee heals.

This thing in the sky:

Attaches to someone on a surfboard:

Sign me up!

Another Body Part?

What is it with me and weird problems? First it was the swollen lip a couple days back. Now this morning I wake up with this.

Can't wait to see what pops up next.